Please post jokes that a little kid would get. Like this one:

[Bertha Venation]

Q: What do invisible cats drink?
A. Evaporated milk.

Got any? For a cow-irker's child.

[Richardo]

1. My favorite for kids:

When you see a flock of geese flying over, one side of the 'V' is always longer than the other. Do you know why?





There are more birds on that side.

[pokerfan]

2. Why does Santa Claus like to work in the garden?

Because he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe!

[HopeHoops]

3. What's green and flies through the sky?

SUPERPICKLE!

[Deep13]

4. What's green and flies over Germany?

Snotzis.

[HopeHoops]

8. What's green and red and flies through the sky?

An unidentified flying olive.

[meow2u3]

5. Why did the sick teabagger go to animal shelter?

To get a cat scan.

[PassingFair]

6. Knock knock. Who's there?

"I eat mop."




I never met a kid that didn't like this one.

:rofl:

[racaulk]

12. LOL!

That's a new one on me! :rofl:

[Beer Snob-50]

7. what soft and furry and puts you to sleep?

the ether bunny.

[BlueJazz]

11. LOL!

[Rabrrrrrr]

9. Descartes is drinking at a bar. The bartender asks, "Another drink?" Descartes says "I think not".

And *poof*, he disappears.

[HopeHoops]

10. When my wife taught Head Start (over 20 years ago), there was one universal joke...

"Hanes Underwear"

All a kid had to do was say that and the entire room fell apart into a sea of giggles.

I guess when you are 3 or 4, that's funny.

[Bucky]

13. What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhinocerous?

"ElephIno" (works best with 5-7 year olds who've learned that you're not supposed to say "hell")

As usual, even my childhood jokes are inappropriate. Like this shaggy dog:

A big pig, carrying a shopping bag, walks into a bar and orders a beer. The
bartender there thinks it's kind of strange to see a pig order a beer, but
he shrugs, 'cause a paying customer is still a paying customer. So he pours
the pig a beer and the pig gulps it down.

"Yummy," the pig says, "Now, before I go, where's your bathroom?"

The bartender points over to the men's room and the pig goes there, comes out
a few minutes later, waves so long, and leaves.

Well, the bartender is just scratching his head when a second big pig--he's
a bit skinnier and has no shopping bag--walks through the front door and orders
a beer. Now this is certainly a weird site, but a paying customer is still a
paying customer. So he pours the pig a beer and the pig gulps it down.

"Yummy," the second pig says, "But before I go, where's your bathroom?"

The bartender gestures over to the men's room and this pig also goes off to
relieve himself before leaving. And that second pig is not long gone before
a third pig, just a bit smaller than the first two, walks into the bar,
saddles up the counter and orders a beer.

"Man, I just had the biggest lunch ever. Barkeep, lemme have something cold to
wash it down!"

Now today is by far the oddest day the bartender has ever seen in his entire
career. But as they say, a paying customer is still a paying customer. He pours
the pig a beer and the pig takes it and gulps it down just as fast as the other
two.

"Yummy," the third pig says, "Now tell me, where's your bathroom?"

"Right over there," the bartender says. The pig goes in, comes out, waves good-bye
just like the others, and departs.

The bartender is thinking he has definitely got a great story to tell his family,
when yet another pig, this one just a bit smaller than the last, walks in through
the front door and hops up on the barstool.

"By thunder, I'm famished," the pig says, "Let me have a beer, buddy."

The bartender is at a loss to explain any of today's events, but is only too happy
to comply, because after all, a paying customer is still a paying customer. So
once again he pours the pig a beer and the pig gulps it down. And once again the
customer inquires about the bathroom before departing.

"Right over yonder," the bartender points. The pig hops down off the stool,
ambles in, gives out a good flush, and ambles out again. "So long," the bartender
waves to this pig, who waves back and heads out the door.

And just a few moments later, yet one more pig comes into the bar and
scrambles up onto the stool. This pig is by far the smallest one yet--so small
that the bartender has to ask to see his ID before serving him a drink. But
the pig is over 21 and is a paying customer (and like the old saying goes, a
paying customer is still a paying customer), so the bartender gladly serves
him a beer, too.

Well, he gulps down his beer just like the others, then spins around on his
barstool, hops off, and heads toward the front door, waving good-bye to the
bartender.

"Wait, wait!" cries the bartender, "Aren't you going to go to the bathroom first?"

The pig turns around and says, "Oh, no. I'm the one that goes 'Wee-wee all the
way home'."

Thank you, thank you.
I'll be here all week.

[Beer Snob-50]

15. rimshot

lol

[BlueJazz]

14. What do you call a Cow with no feet?

Ground beef
.
.
.
What is Super-Chicken's alter ego?
.
.
Cluck Kent

[Brother Buzz]

22. What do you call a Cow with two feet?

Lean beef

What do you say to one-legged hitchhiker?

Hop in:

[racaulk]

16. Here's one for music geeks...

Knock knock!

Who's there?

Phillip Glass. Knock knock!

Who's there?

Phillip Glass. Knock knock!

:rofl:

[Bertha Venation]

17. LOL

:thumbsup:

[Richardo]

18. !!

:rofl:

[schmuls]

19. I like this one: Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9!

[begin_within]

20. I called and ordered a pizza,

when they took my order, I asked "Will it be long?"
They said, "No, it will be round."

What's black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white?
A nun rolling down a hill.

Knock Knock
Who's There?
Interrupting Cow.
Interrupt....
MOO!

A daddy tomato, a mommy tomato and a baby tomato were walking down the street.
The baby tomato lags behind so the daddy tomato goes back and squishes him and says:
"Ketchup!"

A piece of string walks into a bar, climbs up on the bar stool and orders a drink from the bartender.
The bartender looks at the string and says, "We don't serve your kind in this place."
The string gets up and walks outside.
He ties himself into a knot, frays up the ends of himself and walks back into the bar.
He climbs back up on a stool and says, "I'd like a drink please."
The bartender says, "Look! I told you before we don't serve your type. You're that same string who was in here earlier aren't you?"
The string says, "Nope! I'm a frayed knot."

[TrogL]

21. Any dead baby joke

Read the OP - it says "kid would get", not "will I get in trouble for telling".

[Glorfindel]

23. Q: What's green and red and goes 'round and 'round?

A: A frog in a blender.

Q: When you go into the bathroom, you're American. When you leave the bathroom, you're American. What are you when you're IN the bathroom?

A: European.