My girlfriend just dumped me for getting upset...

[lightningandsnow]

when her friend said it was racist that I didn't want to go to a traditional Chinese doctor for my mental illness (severe anxiety plus some flavor of bipolar)

Also, I'm apparently immature.
And don't own my white privilege enough.
And I make her uncomfortable by talking about my mental illness.

Fuck my life.

[UndertheOcean]

1. No , fuck her , she was not the one ....

you will find someone better soon enough

[OhioChick]

2. If she can't accept you for who you are....

She's not worth it. Someone better will come around soon enough. :hug:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

3. My dear lightningandsnow...

Ah, it's tough when someone you care deeply for suddenly turns on you. You might well feel betrayed, hurt, lonely...and angry.

Whatever you two had for each other apparently didn't do it for her...If you can't talk about your mental illness, that's a bad sign.

Cry your tears, grieve your loss, and then move on. Be gentle with yourself, too...

You WILL find someone else, someone truly good for you...

I'm so sorry, sweetie...:hug:

[crim son]

21. What Peggy said, 10X.

Been there very recently and have come to terms with the fact that the *right* person isn't going to terrorize me for being depressed, to start. Walk away and look forward to meeting the right one.

[GoCubsGo]

22. What they said...

It may not seem like it now, but you probably just dodged a bullet. I look back at all the relationships I had that didn't work out. When they ended, it seemed like the end of the world to me. Now, all that comes to mind is, "What the hell was I thinking for even giving that asshole a second look, let alone allowing myself to endure such misery over his departure?"

[Demoiselle]

28. What Peggy said, 20 times!

How terrible that anyone could be so hurtful. You will find someone worthy of you, I'm sure.

[cwydro]

4. Must be something in the air.

A few of us are recent dumpees...

Hang in there and know you are not alone.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

25. wait, what?

[Danger Mouse]

5. Sounds like she wasn't worth your time. Don't let it get you down.

:hug:

[Grey]

6. That's not a reason,

it's an excuse.

[ZombieHorde]

7. !

:hug:

[BlueIris]

8. Woah. Good riddance.

Holy crap. Wishing you all the best...

[surrealAmerican]

9. That probably hurts right now ...

... but it sounds like you'll be better off without her in the long run. If she's not somebody you can talk to, she's not right for you.

[treestar]

10. What is a traditional Chinese doctor?

It is not a regular MD?

[rebel with a cause]

17. Good question.

I was wondering the same thing. :shrug:

[LeftyMom]

11. It's not racist, immature or privileged to prefer evidence-based medicine.

Your girlfriend's friend is an asshole for thinking she gets to judge you based on how you manage your illness, and if your girlfriend won't back you up you're better off without her.

I know it sucks right now, but you deserve love and support, and if you're not going to get that it's better you find out now rather than later. :hug:

[HipChick]

12. If you can keep an open mind..

you can prob keep your girlfriend and have the best of both worlds

[REP]

13. The opportunity to be kicked while you're down is not the best of any world

I'm sure you meant well, and probably just didn't think through your post.

[old mark]

14. You are better off. She did you a favor. nt

[Yavin4]

15. Look On The Bright Side. You're Off The Hook for New Year's and Valentine's Day

Man, you saved yourself a fortune.

[applegrove]

16. Trust me you don't want to be around the type of people who don't

get any major issues in your life. You are better off without her and looking for more fish in the sea. I unfortunately learnt that late in life. Good that you are getting all these lessons now while you are so young. Just like Peggy says... grieve the loss and move on with what you've leaned. And don't fall for someone who doesn't get your journey. You know that now.

[KamaAina]

18. You have got to be kidding me.

"racist"? Is this practitioner even an actual doctor?!

And, what white privilege? Like me, you forfeited that as soon as it became apparent you have a disability, I'm afraid. :eyes:

Aren't there a few other people who are after you? Sounds good to me...

[Withywindle]

19. First off, YOUR health treatments are none of HER friend's business.

Why is it even a point of discussion between her and somebody else?

Second, if she is that rigidly judgmental and unable to get over her own discomfort and support you in the ways YOU need, then she is the immature one.

Oh, and she needs to own HER privilege when it comes to mental illness issues. If she hasn't been there, she has no right to try to control your behavior through her filter of comfort (which makes me think she probably does have issues in that area, she's just way, way behind you in terms of owning them, learning about them, and dealing with them).

I'm sorry. I know it hurts. But those stated reasons for breaking up with you reflect more negatively on her than on you.

:hug:

[La Lioness Priyanka]

26. all excellent points especially....

"Oh, and she needs to own HER privilege when it comes to mental illness issues. If she hasn't been there, she has no right to try to control your behavior through her filter of comfort (which makes me think she probably does have issues in that area, she's just way, way behind you in terms of owning them, learning about them, and dealing with them)."

[blogslut]

20. Here's a song for you

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G0dUhYc0sic

[JonQ]

23. It's not racist to reject junk medicine

that just happens to be espoused primarily by one ethnicity.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

24. its your right to pick a doctor and a stream of medicine you are comfortable with

and if she cant handle it, her handling threshold is too fucking low

[BreweryYardRat]

27. She's a hysterical moron. You're better off without her.

Not wanting to waste time homeopathic "traditional" medicine when you've got modern drugs that work for you doesn't make you racist/over-privileged/immature.

And if she's uncomfortable with your mental health issues, it was never going to work anyway. Just count yourself lucky you got rid of her now.

[moriah]

29. Would you have refused to go to a trained psychiatrist who was Chinese?

No? Then you're not racist.

I would say she is the one who is immature if she can't handle the fact you take your mental health seriously. I think the last you mentioned -- that she was uncomfortable discussing it -- is the real issue. The rest of it is just her making up reasons for why her inability to accept you as you are is your fault somehow (which it is not).

[Deep13]

30. What an idiot!

I know it's painful, but ultimately you are better off without her.

[Quantess]

31. Is it okay if I kick this thread?

I find it very encouraging somehow.

[es350_ibm]

32. she's a waste of space. forget her.

[GreenPartyVoter]

33. That is so crappy! *hugs*

[Roon]

34. My shrink is Japanese..she's this little tiny lady

But she is AWESOME!! Best shrink I have ever had in my whole life.

She is so sweet, I can't believe that she has dissected cadavers and such!

[Posteritatis]

35. "make her uncomfortable by talking about it" = "run away fast"

The last thing most people with a mental illness need is to be dating someone who can't or won't accept the fact that it's there. While the whole dumping thing clearly sucks, I imagine you won out in the long run there.

My sister - who has bipolar disorder - was dating someone for far too long who refused to believe in mental illness whatsoever; was one of those morons who decided to study psych in university specifically to refute the entire discipline, wanted to hide her medication to "free" her, that kind of thing. It was hellish enough for me to see, never mind what she had to go through as a result.

[EndersDame]

36. As a person of color I am offended by your girlfriend and her friend

It is people like that who make dealing with real racists and bigotry that much more difficult plus they probably perpetuate stereotypes themselves and judgemental as hell. I bet they just go looking for things to get offended by be glad you got out early.

I am also guessing they do not hang out with any real Asians or any people of color

[mdmc]

37. time to move on dot org

You and your white privilege can find someone better!

[LeftishBrit]

38. Sorry to hear that, but she didn't deserve you

Personally, I think it's racist to assume that evidence-based medicine is 'Western' and in opposition to the Chinese and others from the East. I know several Chinese doctors and medical researchers, and am aware of plenty of clinical trials going on in psychiatry and other branches of 'conventional' medicine *in China*. I suppose the people in Chinese university medical departments are all racists!

[Odin2005]

39. Wow, your ex is an ASS!!

:hug:

[Orrex]

40. Call your ex and tell her that it's for the best

because you got tired of her friend trying to sleep with you all the time.


For the record, traditional Chinese medicine does have an amazingly respectable record















of separating credulous fools from their money. And no one defends TCM more fanatically than someone who refuses to realize/admit that she or he has been bilked by it.

[Juche]

41. Sorry, but that is funny

Seriously. Tell your girlfriend I hate mexican food.

[Darth_Kitten]

42. No, you seem fine.

You don't owe anybody anything. :hug: