My new poem: Nature and Death

[Lionel Mandrake]

Zebras run from lions on the plain,
Wolves chase rabbits, eat them if they can.
Sheep may graze unsafely and in dread,
Unprotected, they will soon be dead.
Canine teeth evolved to pierce the flesh.
Killing is what nature's all about,
Salmon end up in the grizzly's mouth.

[Lionel Mandrake]

1. No comments? nt

[TK421]

2. Pretty good! at least you can put the words together for poetry

I, on the other hand have tried it but can't focus on it and don't have the patience for it

keep it up! that was good!

[Lionel Mandrake]

3. Thank you for the kind words.

It was fun to write, although it was really just an exercise.

The meter is strict (except for the last line), and it sort of almost rhymes in places.

But there are no fresh, original metaphors, and the poem lacks coherence. Not much would be lost if the lines were permuted.

[TK421]

4. work on it if you feel the need to, but never limit yourself....look around you and

notice your surroundings...I think you have talent

[CreekDog]

5. I don't know anything about poetry

it does strike me as a bit dark. :shrug:

[Lionel Mandrake]

6. You may be on to something.

Now that I think about it, my favorite movies, novels, poems, essays, etc. tend to be dark.