What would it be like if men had periods??

[Lil Missy]

I think we'd have a miracle drug for cramps. And double the amount of legal sick days at the workplace.


Edit for clarification: To be more specific, assume men have periods INSTEAD of women having periods.

[rug]

1. There would be commercials for exclamation points.

[Brickbat]

2. It would be like Man Flu, only a bajillion times worse.

http://manflu.info/

[Lil Missy]

3. Ha ha ha!!!

[Brickbat]

6. Don't laugh! It's series!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VbmbMSrsZVQ

[Lil Missy]

13. A fricken ambulance for a cold??? ROFLOL!!!

[Brickbat]

17. Not just a cold -- a Man Cold!

It would be like this EVERY MONTH if men got periods.

[Bennyboy]

4. Do we get to trade?

Or do we have to have a period AND deal with women that are on theirs?

[SeattleGirl]

5. Har de har. At least men can leave the room.

Women have to take it with them. :P

[Lil Missy]

10. I assumed we'd trade, that men would have periods INSTEAD of women.

I'll edit ...

[BuelahWitch]

7. They have reverse periods

Meaning they're bad tempered 25 days of the month instead of 5 :hide:

[Mugu]

8. Testosterone and a period!

I see the murder rate climbing dramatically.

[texanwitch]

9. There would be a national holiday for this.

It would be a paid holiday.

[Lil Missy]

14. Every month.

[Skittles]

11. the world would have ended by now

[JCMach1]

15. You are correct!

[Lil Missy]

16. only for men. ...... Hey ..... hmmmm....

note to self : send my pink boa to the cleaners ....

[bluesbassman]

12. Chocolate would cost more than gold.

:)

[Lil Missy]

21. If men needed chocolate for PMS, chocolate would be a covered medical expense. n/t

[omega minimo]

18. They have their periods every day

[LeftyMom]

19. I would like many of them much better. nt

[davsand]

20. "I buy the SUPER PLUS " would be bragging rather than bitching.

Just sayin...



Laura

[Manifestor_of_Light]

22. There's a Gloria Steinem essay on this.

Called "If Men Could Menstruate".

Pretty funny. As a woman I personally think we need four sick days thirteen times a year, and menstrual huts so we can curl up and sleep and take our pain meds for cramps.

[Lil Missy]

24. Here it is. VERY FUNNY!

If Men Could Menstruate
by Gloria Steinem



Living in India made me understand that a white minority of the world has spent centuries conning us into thinking a white skin makes people superior, even though the only thing it really does is make them more subject to ultraviolet rays and wrinkles.

Reading Freud made me just as skeptical about penis envy. The power of giving birth makes "womb envy" more logical, and an organ as external and unprotected as the penis makes men very vulnerable indeed.

But listening recently to a woman describe the unexpected arrival of her menstrual period (a red stain had spread on her dress as she argued heatedly on the public stage) still made me cringe with embarrassment. That is, until she explained that, when finally informed in whispers of the obvious event, she said to the all-male audience, "and you should be proud to have a menstruating woman on your stage. It's probably the first real thing that's happened to this group in years."

more:

http://www.haverford.edu/psych/ddavis/p109g/steinem.menstruate.html

[kath]

53. You beat me to it -- that piece is a classic - VERY funny!

Some of my favorite lines are in this section:

Sanitary supplies would be federally funded and free. Of course, some men would still pay for the prestige of such commercial brands as Paul Newman Tampons, Muhammad Ali's Rope-a-Dope Pads, John Wayne Maxi Pads, and Joe Namath Jock Shields- "For Those Light Bachelor Days."

Statistical surveys would show that men did better in sports and won more Olympic medals during their periods.

Generals, right-wing politicians, and religious fundamentalists would cite menstruation ("men-struation") as proof that only men could serve God and country in combat ("You have to give blood to take blood"), occupy high political office ("Can women be properly fierce without a monthly cycle governed by the planet Mars?"), be priests, ministers, God Himself ("He gave this blood for our sins"), or rabbis ("Without a monthly purge of impurities, women are unclean").

Male liberals and radicals, however, would insist that women are equal, just different; and that any woman could join their ranks if only she were willing to recognize the primacy of menstrual rights ("Everything else is a single issue") or self-inflict a major wound every month ("You must give blood for the revolution").

Street guys would invent slang ("He's a three-pad man") and "give fives" on the corner with some exchenge like, "Man you lookin' good!"

"Yeah, man, I'm on the rag!"

[CBHagman]

54. Thank you. That was my first thought too.

In fact I'd recommend everyone round up a copy of Outrageous Acts and Everyday Rebellions.

http://books.google.com/books?id=BvOvt7mjoOAC&printsec=frontcover&source=gbs_navlinks_s#v=onepage&q=&f=false

[Aristus]

23. I think we'd eat too much, drink too much, belch, fart, drive erratically and shoot people with guns

Wait, we do all that already...

Never mind...

:yoiks:

[caitxrawks]

25. haha

men would scream and whine and cry like babies, doubling over in pain every time their bellies hurt.

[TheKentuckian]

26. I'm thinking the end of Dr Strangelove

Mushroom clouds, mushroom clouds, and more mushroom clouds.

[dysfunctional press]

27. where would the blood be coming out?

and does that mean that we'd have the babies, too? because it seems like that might hurt. a LOT. (and i've had several cystoscopies, so i kinda know what it might feel like)

[Lil Missy]

30. yep, you've got the idea. men would birth the babies, and ....

there would be an ENTIRELY different attitude about how it feels to have pms, women's right to chose, etc.

[dysfunctional press]

44. so- the men would have the vaginas....

and i would imagine that we'd also have breasts more suited for feeding our infants...and therefore a more nurturing nature to better insure the success of our individual children and the species as a whole.
btw- what would the women be doing with all their new found free time? perhaps they could go out and kill something so that our child can have some protein to grow on. ESPECIALLY during this time of the month when we men can be so hormonal and emotional...you women are all alike. and you just DON'T CARE...:cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

[undeterred]

28. Inpatient hospitalization for a week with a Diprivan drip.

Resume consciousness when its over.

[Jeff In Milwaukee]

29. Workplace shootings would be common....

Sort of like Casual Fridays.

[Lil Missy]

31. exactly

[Deep13]

32. Every bachelor's apartment would look like a murder scene. nt

[Captain Hilts]

33. Gloria Steinem wrote a very funny essay on this topic. nt

[Lil Missy]

38. See #24. I posted the essay.

[Phentex]

34. Welcome to the Playtex Tampon Rose Bowl!

Or the Always Maxi Pad Orange Bowl.

Have a Happy Period!

[KamaAina]

35. World War III every month

:scared:

[TrogL]

36. I'm having periods

Actually I'm getting hot flashes that line up pretty much with what a woman's schedule would be.

It's called andropause and they hurt like hell.

[old mark]

37. Missy, I wouldn't want to deprive you women of the miracle of childbirth.

It wouldn't be right.


mark

[Captain Hilts]

39. This thread is funny, but I must admit to being shocked by the stereotypes involved here.

The men I know aren't slobs without manners and the women haven't ever mentioned or displayed any discomfort with their periods. If asked, they admit to not having cramps, etc.

[Moondog]

40. Women would learn the joys of tolerating PMS in others.

:hide:

[GoCubsGo]

42. We already know the joys of tolerating it in others.

Men are not the only ones who have sisters, girlfriends...

[GoCubsGo]

41. We already have a miracle drug for cramps...

It's called "oral contraceptives." They're mankind's greatest invention. They saved me from years worth of pain, and not just the cramps. They eased many of the other aches and pains that came before the cramps a la PMS. However, if men were the ones with the menstrual cramps, The Pill would have been improved enough to eliminate most of the potential side-effects. And, the Catholic Church would make it a supplement to Holy Communion, rather than banning and condemning it.

[Lil Missy]

45. LOL! Don't forget that tampons and pads would be considered medical expenses!

[hippywife]

46. Yeah, but you

can't take those forever, unfortunately. :(

[GoCubsGo]

51. Why not?

I was on them until I hit perimenopause. Then, I didn't really need them, which was fortunate, because I got laid off and couldn't afford to see a doctor to get a refill once my prescription ran out. After menopause, you don't need them anyway.

[hippywife]

52. It's not terribly healthy

to take them starting about your mid to late 30's. My gyn when I was that age, who was also a friend and ex-roommate while she was in college, would not prescribe them.

[CreekDog]

43. Mens' bathrooms would be even sloppier

if that's actually possible. :yoiks:

[hippywife]

47. Oh, lordy!

I don't even WANT to think about that. :scared:

[valerief]

48. That would mean they could have babies, so no more yapping about killing unborns! nt

[datasuspect]

49. we'd ignore them, go to work and then go drink beer after work

"walk it off, coach"

[Redstone]

50. We'd all have hysterectomies at 14 years old, weenies that we are.

Redstone

[S n o w b a l l]

55. Well, "menses" would make a lot more sense..

for one.

I would mention the men leaving everything on the floor stereotype but that would be gross.