Breaking (Honolulu): Rush Limbaugh has had a curse placed on him for coming to Hawai’i. Limbaugh is now clinging to life at Queens Hospital after Pele' reached into his chest and squeezed his heart. “It is very possible he will die if he stays here any longer” said his publicist who is trying to re-book his return flight to the mainland. An unnamed local source said this happens very rarely and only to those who can’t comprehend the meaning of "Aloha", usually because their soul is so corrupt. Pele’, who normally lives on the Big island made a special trip after hearing of Rush’s “Vacation.” When asked if this will happen again, the goddess of fire responded “Let this be a wake-up call for Carl Rove, I hear he is coming this February!”
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