Over protective daughter..

[HipChick]

My parents are elderly,in 73 and 80 but you wouldn't know it, as they get around better than I do..:shrug: They look much younger than they really are. They are in fairly good health, they keep themselves busy and active since their retirement,and fiercely independent. No signs of senility,meanwhile I have CRS syndrome. I am blessed that I still have them,and spend as much time as I can with them. They love to travel. Sometimes they take off on a trip and I don't even know until I get a postcard in the mail. They had me fairly late in life, and they worry me to the dickens. They do stuff like leave the doors unlocked,stubborn when it comes to things like getting health checks..my mothers last mammogram was like a decade ago. My dad is into homeopathic medicine and all kinds of alternative healing methods. He'll often skip going to a reg dr and head to a homeopathic dr instead. They tell me I'm over-protective - I do worry about them - last year was a horrible year. I lost my SIL to liver cancer at 36, my cousin at 32 to brain tumour, a first cousin at 46 was horribly incapacitated by an aneurysm and faces being a permanent resident of a nursing home- all in 2009 totally unexpected,along with their own personal friends of their own age group that have been passing - yes, I do worry about them,I'm close to them and cannot even begin to imagine how I'd cope. I don't want to interfere too much with their lives either,not that I could as stubborn as they are. Sorry for the vent,but whats the best way to approach this?..

[quakerboy]

1. The things you disagree with/worry about

Are they things that are lifestyle choices, or are they really problems?

[HipChick]

2. I think we disagree

they have taken the role of liberal wild child and I've taken on the role of conservative (not in the political sense) parental

[quakerboy]

6. thats hard

But it seems like you already know.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

3. I'd say let them live their lives, and be grateful they're healthy.

Some things we have control over, and those are the things we should worry about.

Your parents are independent people, and they have their life the way they want them. Enjoy them, cherish them, and let them be.

That's what I'd do, anyway...'

:shrug:

[rebel with a cause]

4. I don't think there is much you can do..

Unless you want to be like my daughter and become tied down with the job of controlling and taking care of them.

I envy your parents independence and wish I had some of it. I would insist on them letting you know when they are planning a trip explaining it is for your own state of mind, that you worry too much when you find them gone and don't know where they are. Encourage them to get regular health exams for your sake. "Do it just to make me feel better, that way I won't worry about you so much." Tell your mother that you know a woman who put off getting a mammogram for years and then came up with cancer in both breast (me for one) and encourage her to just get one to make sure. You could also explain that they don't hurt as bad as they did and they have a lot of new ways to treat the cancer if she should have any. Some people think that cancer is a death sentence and they would rather just not know about its coming. That is all I can think of, I hope it helps a little.

[elleng]

5. Relax, breathe.

:hi: