Has anyone ever been an executor before? Need advice please.

[BlackVelvetElvis]

I'm the executor of my cousin's estate. She kept badly organized records but most of her assets are in bank accounts and investments. She owns a home as well. She also owes money (to doctors). Most of her valuables were in a safety deposit box. Does anyone have any horror stories? I'm thinking of hiring an attorney, does that sound like a good way to go? I want to do a good job.

[fortyfeetunder]

1. Seek legal help

I knew of someone who volunteered to be an executor...and when the person died in an accident, my friend had to fight off other family members to get the deceased's family the estate. Everything worked out and maybe there will be a book one day.

[OneBlueSky]

2. if there are significant assets in the estate . . .

and attorney might be a wise move . . . but find someone who will do if for a reasonable fee and not soak the estate for half its value . . .

[Madrone]

3. Absolutely, get an attorney.

My SO's father died last June, and he and his brother are co-executors. It SUCKS - and their dad was pretty good about his records. Even as good as he was, it's still a huge mess to sort out, and very confusing.

Their problem is his wife won't give them anything, has hired a lawyer to try and get them to pay HER a lot of money - it's a huge mess.

You will have to pay the attorney out of the estate. You have to divy up the spoils amongst relatives named in the will. Death (and the spoils up for grabs as a result) really brings out the ASSHOLE in people. It can get real ugly, real fast - an attorney will really help you with all of this.

I read somewhere you should make your worse enemy your executor - because it's that horrible of an endeavor.

Good luck to you!

[lolly]

4. Tough job.

I had to do it for my dad's estate. Lots of schlepping, varying degrees of weird treatment from people I had to retrieve money from.

Safety deposit--talk to the bank about what is required to open it. It may take a while, plus court papers (Letters Testamentary) proving you're the executor (get a boatload of these made up; you'll need a certified copy every time you do anything).

Have you opened up an estate checking account yet?

Don't know how much $ she had, but I found the easiest way was to dump everything into that estate account, then pay all the bills from there.

Who was the lawyer who drew up her will? Do you want to work with him/her? Unless you're savy about things, you'll need a lawyer to set up probate, etc. (Or did she have a Living Trust?)

How is the account supposed to be distributed--heirs? how many, how much? The only problem with dumping all the money is that certain types of accounts--stock accounts from brokerages, etc--may cause tax problems. It might be better to transfer the stocks to the beneficiaries at the end of probate rather than sell them and pay taxes on all profits.

It's gonna be the equivalent of a part-time job for 2-3 months of work. Good luck!

[BlackVelvetElvis]

6. Here's the answers:

I need a death certificate and executor papers to open the safety deposit box. Should take a week (thanks for advice for getting plenty made).

I plan on dumping everything into a checking account. She wants her grandkids to have a trust fund set up for them-safe investments?

The attorney who made her will is an ass. I won't give him a dime of her money. No living trust. I'm talking to an attorney tomorrow.

Yes, there are heirs. Good questions, I'll ask the lawyer!

[BlackVelvetElvis]

5. She left a will and a significant amount of money

My brother in law's attorney has a decent, honest reputation. I think I'll call him tomorrow. I've already had to diffuse one fight over some cash supposedly left in the house (I think my cousin spent it before she died). I hope it doesn't get too ugly. I'm glad she left a will or it will be a free for all.

[gmoney]

7. well, be sure to piss off all the relatives...

Actually, that's inevitable.

My stepsister ended up being executor on my Stepfather's estate (and by extension, my Mom's estate -- long story). I'm not sure if she was trying to be official or just be a bitch, but as soon as my stepfather went into hospice, she started treating me like a criminal. I'd been taking care of the house while they were sick for months and could have easily helped myself to anything -- but all of a sudden, she had to have my key to the place.

I ended up buying the house from the estate, along with the contents, so I saved the estate the cost of a realtor, holding an estate auction, and saved her the trouble of prepping the house for sale. But, when I suggested maybe knocking a little off the price of the house (the amount she'd have to pay a realtor if it was listed) she wouldn't budge a dime. "We have to do this by the book." Even after I bought the contents (some of which was stuff that was mine that I was storing there) she asked for a couple pieces of furniture and some old dishes, and I didn't see a dime from those either. Oh, she also sold my stepfather's very nice car to her stepdaughter for a LOT less than market price. (Too many steps, eh?)

But paybacks are a bitch. Turns out my Mom had a bank account specifically left to my sister and I, excluding my wicked stepsister and ne'er-do-well stepbrother from a pretty respectable amount of money. They had the nerve to ask that we split that with them, but I told her "We have to do this by the book."

So, my advice? You'll need a lawyer and maybe a CPA to do all the tax work. Ask friends for a referral, or call around for a lawyer who handles estates. See if you can negotiate a flat fee, rather than a percentage, but try to do things in the spirit of your cousin's wishes. (Maybe start with the lawyer who drew up the will.) They might have a resource of tracing your cousin's bank accounts/insurance policies/assets based on her SSN, etc. just in case there are any loose ends.

Most of it will be pretty cut and dried -- banks generally require that accounts specify who gets the money in event of death, and you can take care of that stuff outside the "estate" so that if the lawyer insists on a percentage isn't entitled to part of that money. (Most bank accounts are outside of probate.)

If you can, get all the parties together to discuss their wishes, and whether anyone objects to you paying yourself an executor's fee -- you are entitled to a percentage. If there are any "family heirlooms" or photos or special items, those can usually be divided up outside of the estate as well, as long as everyone agrees.

Again, these situations can get ugly SO easily because emotions are running high, and a lifetime of resentments and feelings of deprivation can be inflamed as people try to "get theirs." Emphasize to everyone that family can not be replaced, and that everyone should try to keep things friendly and fair. Best of luck with it...I don't envy you.

[BlackVelvetElvis]

8. Good advice!

Unfortunatelly, I'm also one of the heirs. I don't care about her money and am going to give my share to her husband (they were seperated at the time of her death). She left him zero and he took care of her for 3 years.
Everyone in the family knows I am honest and even handed. I hope that will play in my favor if some dispute occurs.

[gmoney]

10. Giving your share?

Watch your step on giving your share to the separated husband, as you may have a tax liability on your share, even if you give it away, so you don't want to go in the hole on this little ordeal.

Not sure if it's legal, but maybe you can encourage the other heirs to contribute a portion to the husband, but that's probably a steep uphill battle. On the other hand, if he's a black sheep, you might want to keep you plan to hand over your share, as that is likely to be contrary to your cousin's actual wishes.

Your level of involvement is up to you. You can dump 95% of it onto the lawyer, making your job basically keeping tabs on the lawyer, but that may increase his fees.

Again, good luck. I think you'll find that a lot of things are dictated by documents your cousin signed when she opened accounts.

[BlackVelvetElvis]

11. Thanks for that.

Everyone in the family loves her husband and helps him out. He's disabled and can't work. My cousin kept saying, "I'm sorry" to him when she was dying, we assume it was about the will. He knows what was in the will.
I'm pretty sure my share won't add to my tax liability, it's only $10,000. I'll ask the lawyer. Besides, I will get paid a decent amount for being her executor.
DU'ers, thanks for the advice. If you have more, send it my way.

[arewethereyet]

14. importent note !

I saw where your cut was 10k. you are allowed to give someone a maximum of 10k with no tax liability. if its 10,001, he'll be taxed on all of it.

and ignore disputes. not only is a good idea, its your job.

[SoCalDem]

16. Isn't inheritance "tax-free"???

I could swear I heard W blathering on and on about how happy they were when he signed that bill into law..

[arewethereyet]

18. not talking about that

this is specifically YOU giving YOUR money (albiet from the estate) to the other party. completely unrelated to the estate legally speaking.

as to the estate tax, I believe it is in repeal now. the cpa will verify that and if its not whether or not the estate is large enough to qualify.

[PartyPooper]

9. Yes, by all means, get good legal advice. As an executor twice, I know!

I won't bemoan all of the sordid details here. But, there's lots of pitfalls.

Get a good lawyer. Ask questions. Ask about fees. (Some states regulate what the attorney can charge-based on the value of the estate.) But, you should be able to get a "free" initial consultation if you're shopping for an attorney.

Also, set up files with folders, etc. Depending on the complexity of the estate, this really helps with your record-keeping!

Good luck!

:hi:

[arewethereyet]

12. first off, is there a will ?

if so, is it plain and reasonable ?

if so, hold off on the lawyer but get an accountant insted to properly value the estate,

then pay the bills (if you need to sell the house to do this, contact the creditors and this should take the heat off),

then liquidate the non-monitary possessions (unless specifically mentioned in the will, those go ahead and disperse assuming that there are funds to pay the bills). find an auctineer even if its nothing special stuff.

then, if the CPA is unwilling to aid you on probate requirements (any good one can to do this if they want to, they understand the law) then hook up with a lawyer. nothing is final till 1 year after death to give potential creditors time to make demand so you have time to sort things out and you are under no obligation to disperse any additional estate on anyone's timetable but your own.

regarding the home; if its in good shape, hand it to a realtor and let them do their thing. If its not or you don't know, find a reputable auctioneer. It eliminated liability for problems you may or may not know about, it will yield a comprable return and its way less trouble and generally faster. I know it sounds crazy but its not. My multimillionaire real estate brother did that for my other brother's in-laws house and I was going to do the same till a private buyer came out of the blue. the auctioneer can also sell all the stuff in the house so you'll want to be finding one either way.

if there is no will or you don't understand it, a lawyer is a good idea.

the only horror stories involve not taking your time and making reasonable descisions that make sense to you.

have confidence in yourself, your cousin did. most of this stuff does actually make sense if you're patient and educate yourself and take the common sense choices.

you'll do fine, its easier than it appears.

[Paragon]

13. Ask this executor:

I understand he used to get a big kick out of it.

[SoCalDem]

15. I have been...(my father's estate). and a lawyer is good advice

Depending on the state she died /lived in, it may be necessary to go through probate..

If she left specific instructions about who gets what, your life will be much easier.. If not... you might want to take up drinking.. Everyone will hate you, and you will be able to do NOTHING right..

Even with explicit instructions that were in my father's will, I have not spoken to my brother in almost 8 years..(and do not care to)

[SheWhoMustBeObeyed]

17. I wish you good luck, and advise: Keep records of everything

I was the executor for my mother's estate. I was lucky in that she planned for it, and we had time to discuss things before she got too sick. One sibling had been her primary caretaker, and I got the others to agree to paying him a lump sum that came out of the estate before it was divided up for all the heirs. It didn't affect anyone's tax liability but his.

I also made sure other medical and funeral expenses were paid before giving anyone a dime. Stand firm on that point: if any unexpected bills come in, nobody will give you back what you have already distributed. For example, Social Security didn't demand the return of the check they mailed the month of her death until several months later. (It had been direct-deposited into her checking account and it hadn't even occurred to me that they would want it back.)

I kept a large three-ring binder filled with every single piece of paper related to Mom's estate, including a list of who had received what keepsakes and household items. I still have it, four years later. It took the better part of a year to take care of the major things, and other bits and pieces kept popping up - for example, her tax returns for the year of her death. I used my records to show the heirs why a percentage of her estate was still being held in a separate account. Again, nobody will hand you back anything you pay out.

Get an attorney you trust, and keep good records.

[BlackVelvetElvis]

19. I've started a notebook already

I'm keeping a log of my time and details of who I talked to and for what reason. Cross-referenced even.
All phone numbers, a list of family members talked to (re: estate), anything and everything is going into this book. I'm even going to have the family sign this book when I make a notation that they are a witness to (anything that I do in their presence: household inventory, ect).
My cousin recieved no SS benefits and taxes have been filed for this year.
I sure hope this goes okay. You guys are loads of help.

[SoCalDem]

20. Keep every receipt that you generate or find..

Have jewelery appraised.. Lots of times people talk about how valuable their jewelry is, and after appraisal you find that the 18K amethyst & diamond bracelet is NOT..

Polaroid pictures are helpful too..

[Missy Vixen]

21. Get an attorney

Unless you possess a JD, I wouldn't even attempt the executor duties without legal advice.

Did your cousin have a will? The attorney will know what to do re: probate, etcetera. The attorney will also (hopefully,) be a buffer between you and other family and friends who will be looking for their "share" of the estate.

I have many horror stories, but I'll give you the most glaringly obvious. I was the executrix for my mother's estate. My mother was a very wonderful person, but thought it would be a great thing if she named me and both of my siblings as executors. Uh, no. After a very tense meeting in the attorney's office, both sisters agreed that I would handle the job. It was astonishing how quickly estranged family members lined up with hands out for their "share" of my parents' estate.

I got through it without being sued.

Good luck, and remember, don't try to do this without an attorney.

Julie