Free Republic makes it official: Freepers are insane

[scottcsmith]

The Free Republic mission statement is up.

See if you don't want to vomit after reading it.

http://www.freerepublic.com/

One thing I did not know about the Free Republic: they oppose government-enforced atheism.

I'm curious which government programs (past or present) enforce atheism. Anyone know? My guess is Rural Electrification.

[WillyBrandt]

1. Flouridation of Water

And flouridaton of ice cream--children's ice cream.

[elperromagico]

2. We must maintain the purity of our precious bodily fluids.

[WillyBrandt]

3. Did you know that 70% of you is water?

[elperromagico]

4. Well, I first became aware of it during the physical act of love.

[WillyBrandt]

5. I do not avoid women...but I do deny them my essence.

[elperromagico]

7. You're gonna have to answer to the Coca-Cola company.

[WillyBrandt]

8. The string--the string in my leg....

[elperromagico]

10. Now, I'm not saying we won't get our hair mussed!

[WillyBrandt]

11. I'm capable of being just as sorry as you, Dimitri!

[elperromagico]

12. Mein Fuhrer! I can walk!

[WillyBrandt]

13. The whole point of it is lost....IF YOU KEEP IT A SECRET!

Why don't you tell the world, eh?!

Alright, friend, I laughed out loud at the "physical act of love" quote--I hadn't thought of that in years! Good night to you!

[elperromagico]

14. You too, man. And remember... We'll meet again,

don't know where. Don't know when. But I know we'll meet again...

some sunny day.

[girl gone mad]

17. Come on you two..

there's no fighting in the War Room.

[VOX]

22. "And I drink a lot of water, you know..."

"I'm what you might call a water man, Jack - that's what I am. And I can swear to you, my boy, swear to you, that there's nothing wrong with my bodily fluids. Not a thing, Jackie!"

[SmileyBoy]

29. Man, I wish we had one of them doomsday devices.

...

[geniph]

34. Survival kit contents check:

one forty-five caliber automatic; two boxes of ammunition; four days' concentrated emergency rations; one drug issue containing antibiotics, morphine, vitamin pills, pep pills, sleeping pills, tranquilizer pills; one miniature combination Russian phrase book and Bible; one hundred dollars in rubles; one hundred dollars in gold; nine packs of chewing gum; one issue of prophylactics; three lipsticks; three pair of nylon stockings. Shoot, a fella' could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff.

[geniph]

36. If you don't put that gun away,

and stop this stupid nonsense, the court of Enquiry on this'll give you such a pranging, you'll be lucky if you end up wearing the uniform of a bloody toilet attendant.

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

40. Col. Bat Guano... If that IS your real name...

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

41. I admit that the human element seems to have failed us here.

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

42. You with the gun, Jack and me with the belt, FEEDING you, feeding you!

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

43. A feller could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff!

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

46. The thing of it is they make such bloody good cameras.

[SmileyBoy]

47. Mein Fuehrer - I Mean, Mr. President...

[sir_captain]

51. You all

are a bunch of preverts ;-)

[TX-RAT]

25. Wrong

60 percent water 10 percent Crown Royal

[Rabrrrrrr]

31. Also wrong

Some of us are 10% gin, beer, or wine, or other spiritous liquors (for medicinal purposes only, of course)

Welcome to DU! :hi:

[U2Fanatic]

6. crap like that make me fear for the future of humanity.

[NWHarkness]

9. I love the fact that they have a chapter called Houston area Texans

As opposed to all those Houston area Minnesotans.

[grannylib]

39. *lol* there is actually a Houston Minnesota, down in the SE corner of the

state

[Nevernose]

15. Hell, I AGREE with them

Therefore, we wholeheartedly support the Bush Doctrine of pre-emptive strikes on known terrorist states and organizations that are believed to present a clear threat to our freedom or national security. We support our military, our troops and our Commander-in-Chief and we oppose turning control of our government back over to the liberals and socialists who favor appeasement, weakness, and subserviency. We do not believe in surrendering to the terrorists as France, Germany, Russia and Spain have done and as Kerry, Kennedy, Clinton and the Democrats, et al, are proposing.

Personally (and I've always been something of a redneck on this subject), I say we blow the holy living shit out of states that purposely harbor terrorrists that target the United States.

Now can someone explain to me how that statement -- in perfect alignment with the stated ideals of Free Republic -- applies to Iraq, much less to John Kerry, Bill Clinton, etc? How, exactly, did Big Dog surrender to the terrorists and yet the Saudi-appeasing BFEE doesn't appease terrorists? It must have something to do with letting Bin Ladens family members fly out of the country on 9/12, so I obviously don't understand.

The worst thing the French or Germans did was say that Iraq didn't have WMD's, correct? And Iraq didn't have WMD's, did they?

What am I missing here?

What is so fucking hard to comprehend?

You were WRONG, Freepers. Get over it. They're'll be another election, and next time it will likely be an election where the majority rules, and one in which an actual conservative Republicans are runnning for President.

[MinnFats]

16. wanna see something REALLY scarey?

go to free republic, then go over and click on the prayer link...
ooooooweeeeeooooo
pretty spooky.

[Nevernose]

19. WHICH prayer thread, specifically?

Pray for President Bush?
Prayer Requests?

Should we include "The Hobbit Hole," too? Might as well. Although Freepers have never read or agreed with the incredibly-liberal "Lord of the Rings" -- why have a thread devoted to it? And it's just as fictional...

[TreasonousBastard]

20. You mean the prayer requests...

that are very, very strange?

Should we send them Mark Twain's "War Prayer."

Even stranger is the Hot Air Flag Balloon. Anyone think they get the irony there?

And the Voter Fraud section. Not a word about BBV or other problems... just bringing up the Chicago River in '60 and too many of the "wrong" people voting.

It seems WE stole Florida, according to them.

Enough of the Freepers. They're dipsticks and bottomfish. I can't imagine they're anything but the hot air flying the balloon and an embarassment worse than useless to their cause. They do not deserve our attention.

Face, it we've got some idjits and assholes here, but here they are the EXCEPTION.

[Nevernose]

21. Mark Twain was an evil commie

He didn't believe that we should kill brown people just because they were brown. What more proof do you need that he was evil?

[ClintonTyree]

18. So they DON'T support the Bush administration........

"As a conservative site, Free Republic is pro-God, pro-life, pro-family, pro-Constitution, pro-Bill of Rights, pro-gun, pro-limited government, pro-private property rights, pro-limited taxes, pro-capitalism, pro-national defense, pro-freedom, and-pro America".

The Bush administration in shredding the Constitution and Bill of Rights, expanding governement at an astounding pace and killing people all over the world. It seems there's a bit of conflict between their mission statement and what the Bush administration is doing. They may want to redefine their mission.
And why keep bringing God into it? If these "morans" think God would condone the actions and policies of their fascist club, I believe they've got another thing coming.
These people are stupid, not ignorant, stupid. Blind patriotism is the mark of an individual who has no capacity for free and independent thought. I guess that sums up FR in a nutshell. Mob mentality without the gift of being able to think for oneself. Rock on RimJob!

[Cannikin]

23. "wacko environmentalism"

Hmm...somebody has been well programmed by the EIB network.


Its sad when you think about it. Free Republic, but no free thinking.

Starting to remind anyone of "1984"?

[jmowreader]

24. They're hypocrites, you know...

From RimJob:

As a conservative site, Free Republic is pro-God, pro-life, pro-family, pro-Constitution, pro-Bill of Rights, pro-gun, pro-limited government, pro-private property rights, pro-limited taxes, pro-capitalism, pro-national defense, pro-freedom, and-pro America. We oppose all forms of liberalism, socialism, fascism, pacifism, totalitarianism, anarchism, government enforced atheism, abortionism, feminism, homosexualism, racism, wacko environmentalism, judicial activism, etc. We also oppose the United Nations or any other world government body that may attempt to impose its will or rule over our sovereign nation and sovereign people. We believe in defending our borders, our constitution and our national sovereignty.

If they're pro-Constitution, pro-Bill of Rights (last I checked, it's hard to be pro-Constitution and anti-Bill of Rights, or the inverse, because the Bill of RIghts is part of the Constitution), pro-private property rights, pro-limited government and pro-freedom, they must be anti-Bush. Because the Bush Maladministration is against all of those things.

[TXlib]

26. They oppose feminism too...

"None of yer lip, woman, unless you want it split! Now, get me my dinner, and my beer!"

[scottcsmith]

37. And make me some pah!

"Pah" is how Cartman of South Park says "Pie," just an FYI.

[prolesunited]

27. Interesting...

We oppose all forms of liberalism, socialism, fascism, pacifism, totalitarianism, anarchism, government enforced atheism, abortionism, feminism, homosexualism, racism, wacko environmentalism, judicial activism <-- They must have really just hated it when the Supreme Court appointed Bush president.

[skypilot]

28. "Homosexualism"????

What more can I say besides::eyes:

[geniph]

32. What the hell is "abortionism"?

Abortion is an ISM now?

That whole tirade sounds like it was cribbed straight from Benito Mussolini. :eyes:

[terrya]

33. All RIGHT! We have an "ism"!

Woo-Hoo!!

FINALLY...

:-)

Terry

[La Lioness Priyanka]

44. yes what was that about

it may be a catchy disease like lesbianism

[La Lioness Priyanka]

45. yes what was that about

it may be a catchy disease like lesbianism

[oxymoron]

54. Does that make me a Homosexualist? (nt)

[Ellen Forradalom]

57. It's my religion.

I'm a homosexualist--I worship homosexuals.

[tom_paine]

30. What is funny is that they are the Brownshirt Arm of the Busheviks

THEY might not realize they support Totalitarianism, but you can be damned sure their Bushevik Masters know exactly what THEY support.

[Bertha Venation]

35. koo-koo-kachoo, Mr. Robinson

hell is just a brief phone call away
hey hey hey
hey hey hey

God bless Fresno and all its freethinking denizens. With that wingnut living there, they need all the help they can get.

[citizen snips]

38. Fuck FreeRepublic.

These people are not Christians.

They are all fucking sheep I have never seen so many people this indoctrinated to Bush.

Please excuse my language.

[JohnLocke]

52. I don't blame you, Matt.

These people are bastards.

[citizen snips]

55. A freeper has sent me hate mail on my site.

They severely lack intelligence.

[Aristus]

48. Well, this is very embarrassing, Dmitri, but something has gone wrong

with The Bomb.............The Bomb, Dmitri...........one of our nuclear bombs, Dmitri................

[geniph]

49. Don't say you're more sorry than I am, Dmitri!

I'm just as sorry as you are!

[Jack_Dawson]

50. "Pro Limited Government"???

Bwahahahahahahahaha

[JohnLocke]

53. Pro-Bill of Rights!!

Heh -- only the Second Amendment.

[NightTrain]

56. Time to give that fucker the MST3K treatment!

> Statement by the founder of Free Republic:

"I'm 50 years old, live with my parents, and have never had a driver's license. Or a girlfriend."

> In our continuing fight for freedom, for America and our
> constitution and against totalitarianism,

...we support the right of Real Americans to ridicule, beat, maim and kill those who disagree with us.

> socialism, tyranny, terrorism, etc., Free Republic stands firmly
> on the side of right, i.e., the conservative side.

As did Hitler, Mussolini, Batista, Pinochet, Duvalier, and the Contras, to name but a few.

> Believing that the best defense is a strong offense,

...we freepers are committed to being as offensive as possible!

> we (myself and those whom I'm trying to attract to FR)

Like those cute 14-year-old girls I saw hanging out at Wal-Mart the other day. I just wish they hadn't sicced the security guards on me.

> support the strategy of taking the fight to the enemy as opposed
> to

...following the teachings of that pinko-commie-hippie loser, Jesus.

> allowing the enemy the luxury of conducting their attacks on us at
> home on their terms and on their schedule.

And bombing Iraq has accomplished that HOW???

> Therefore, we wholeheartedly support the Bush Doctrine of

...election theft, selling the country out to corporations and military contractors, and lying both to Congress and to the American people.

> pre-emptive strikes on known terrorist states and organizations
> that are believed to present a clear threat to our freedom or
> national security.

So watch out, Venezuela! We know that terrorist-lover Chavez is sitting on tons of oil, er, I mean WMDs.

> We support our military, our troops

...unlike those pinkos John Kerry and Military Families Speak Out.

> and our Commander-in-Chief

The president is commander-in-chief of the military, not of the entire country.

You know, Jim, it's your firm grasp on how things work in this country that makes me respect your opinions so much!

> and we oppose turning control of our government back over to the
> liberals and socialists who favor appeasement, weakness, and
> subserviency.

The last true liberal to occupy the White House was FDR. And he hardly favored "appeasement, weakness, and subserviency." (By the way, is that last one even a fucking word?!)

> We do not believe in surrendering to the terrorists as France,
> Germany, Russia and Spain have done and as Kerry, Kennedy, Clinton
> and the Democrats, et al, are proposing.

Who, exactly, are the "et al?" People who happen to think that you, your website, and those who belong to it promote ignorance and hate in the name of democracy?

>As a conservative site, Free Republic is pro-God,

Though most of what we believe actually contradicts the teachings of Christ.

> pro-life,

Pro-white, pro-conservative, pro-American life, that is. Everyone else can go to hell!

> pro-family,

Unless the head of that family happens to be a same-sex couple or a single parent.

> pro-Constitution, pro-Bill of Rights,

Except for that icky part about "freedom of speech" for people we don't like. Oh, and that "free assembly" crap's gotta go, too. We don't want those goddamned liberals having any more of their pinko-commie protest rallies, after all!

> pro-gun,

Because we're too stupid to win an argument through logic.

> pro-limited government,

Except when it comes to gay people wanting to marry.

> pro-private property rights,

Except when it comes to the DOJ confiscating the property of suspoected drug dealers, gang members, and terrorists.

> pro-limited taxes,

So I take it you never use any service for which our tax dollars pay? Like roads, bridges, freeways, and parks?

> pro-capitalism,

I hope you still feel that way when your employers close up shop and send your job to Indonesia. Or wouldn't McDonald's do that?

> pro-national defense, pro-freedom, and-pro America.

And of course, you can't have any of that without an obscenely bloated Pentagon budget that takes money away from social programs for the poor.

> We oppose all forms of liberalism, socialism, fascism, pacifism,

As did Hitler.

> totalitarianism, anarchism,

I don't think there's such a word as "anarchism," not that this jerk-off would have the slightest clue about what anarchy truly means.

> government enforced atheism,

:wtf: is that? If anything, the current junta in Washington is trying to enforce Christianity!

> abortionism,

Another non-word for a non-thinker!

> feminism,

Because women who can think scare me.

> homosexualism,

Another non-word from our repressed PLAYGIRL subscriber.

> racism,

I take it, Mr. Robinson, that you don't bother to read the postings at Free Republic?

> wacko environmentalism,

Yeah, who but a pussy wants clean air and water for future generations? And besides, when Jesus comes back, there won't *be* any future generations!

> judicial activism, etc.

Oh! You mean, like Brown vs. the Board of Education?

> We also oppose the United Nations or any other world government
> body that may attempt to impose its will or rule over our
> sovereign nation and sovereign people. We believe in defending our
> borders, our constitution and our national sovereignty.

Then I take it you vehemently oppose both NAFTA and the WTO?

> Free Republic is private property. It is not a government project,
> nor is it funded by government or taxpayer money.

Though if you know how I could grab some gummint cash, by all means drop me an e-mail!

> We are not a publicly owned entity nor are we an IRS tax-free non-
> profit organization. We pay all applicable taxes on our income.

Then you've got one up on Bush's pal, Ken Lay!

> We are not connected to or funded by any political party, news
> agency, or any other entity.

Because when we tried to connect ourselves to them, they laughed and called us a bunch of morons. Scumbags.

> We sell no merchandise, product or service, and we offer no
> subscriptions or paid memberships. We accept no paid advertising
> or promotions.

Well, we would, except no one's expressed an interest in giving us any.

> We are funded solely by donations (non tax deductible gifts) from
> our readers and participants.

Now you're just getting ridiculous! Do you honestly expect me to believe that your typical freeper can read???

> We aggressively defend our God-given and first amendment
> guaranteed rights to free speech, free press, free religion, and
> freedom of association, as well as our constitutional right to
> control the use and content of our own personal private property.

Mind you, that's OUR God-given rights, not yours.

> Despite the wailing of the liberal trolls and other doom & gloom
> naysayers, we feel

...our tiny little penises in bed after dark.

> no compelling need to allow them a platform to promote their
> repugnant and obnoxious propaganda from our forum.

And they have the nerve to complain when they come over here spouting their right-wing bullshit and get banned! Un-fucking-believable.

> Free Republic is not a liberal debating society.

Kinda figured, since you'd get your ass handed to you in a real debate.

> We are conservative activists dedicated to defending our rights,
> defending our constitution, defending our republic and defending
> our traditional American way of life.

And we do so by organizing pro-war counterdemonstrations that have attracted as many as a dozen people!

> Our God-given liberty and freedoms are not negotiable.

YOUR God-given liberty and freedoms, on the other hand....

> May God bless and protect our men and women in uniform fighting
> for our freedom and may God continue to bless America.

Message from God: "I don't bless individual countries, so shut the fuck up already."

> Jim Robinson

a/k/a Rimjob the Virgin

[Endangered Specie]

58. We oppose all forms .... pacifism aka "Just Nuke Everyone"

[EstimatedProphet]

59. We can now say for certain why the term "freeptard" evolved

I also oppose government-enforced athiesm, and I call for the closure of the Office of Athiest Enforcement.