Can someone please give me a medical diagnosis?

[LeftyFingerPop]

I've been having an incredible amount of sweating around the head, neck, chest, breast/sternum area.

Nothing else is sweating.

Also, I have kind of a burning/itching/crawling sensation around each part of my body that begins with a "W".

MODS: This is NOT a medical thread.

Loungers: Please provide me with a complete diagnosis, including ICD-9 insurance codes. Also. please list the drug and dosage that would help me (please include generic name) so I can write a phony prescription. Finally, if any surgery is required, please send me detailed instructions and a picture of the tools that I need.

Thank you.

[hyphenate]

1. Look it up yourself!

wrongdiagnosis.com

for drugs, and generic names:
rxlist.com

[LeftyFingerPop]

2. Where do I look it up?

[graywarrior]

3. Your butt?

[LeftyFingerPop]

8. I'll need a flashlight.

[graywarrior]

10. A penlight?

[LeftyFingerPop]

12. Coors Light.

[redwitch]

4. If your womb itches

you are probably not the person I thought you were. Or at least not the gender.
I can't think of any other parts that begin with "w".
Good luck with your sweating!

edited to ask if you have wings?
If so, you may be a bird. Or an angel.

[LeftyFingerPop]

7. The "Wiggly thing in the back of your throat"

begins with a w, for instance.

[Lil Missy]

11. Weiner.

[redwitch]

18. LOL.

How could I have missed that?

[Ptah]

5. Here you go:

[LeftyFingerPop]

6. Finally, someone with some helpful information.

Thank you.

[Ptah]

9. Well, there you are. Glad to help. Cool your jets here.

[MiddleFingerMom]

13. You could have saved us all a lotta time.

.
I have kind of a burning/itching/crawling sensation around each part of my body that begins with a "W".
.
Let's see, um...... wart? Nope? Um....... wrist? Nope. Um........ womb? Not likely.
Um........ wiener? Of course, burning/itching/crawling -- I shoulda guessed it right off the bat if for nothing else than sense memory.
.
Easily treated. Though I wish you had been less embarrassed about telling us exactly what was going on.
.
Gather together lighter fluid, a razor, a Bic lighter, a flashlight, and an icepick.
.
DON'T DO ANYTHING UNTIL YOU HEAR FROM ME AGAIN. The treatment methods have changed drastically and you may hurt yourself otherwise.
.
I'll be right back.
.
You have my word on that.
.

.

[Capn Sunshine]

14. I think I know what you need

[Dr. Strange]

15. Sounds like a Viagra overdose.

Prescription: watch all of the Sanford and Son episodes involving Aunt Esther.

[NYC_SKP]

16. Well, at least for tools, yer gonna need one of these here...

for yer Wagina.

[redwitch]

19. OMG!

I don't like the look of that!

[sarge43]

20. And the surgeon to go along with it.

[rcrush]

17. Smoke some crack

Oh wait you got started already!

[Deep13]

21. Abscessed wisdom tooth.

You need massive amounts of Scotch.

[BuelahWitch]

22. My diagnosis: you're full of SHIT!

Take some of this and call me in a week. That will be $500..

[Tuesday Afternoon]

23. sure thing. DX -- you crazy.

the end :hi: