One of my pet peeves is people referring to adult females as "girls."

[raccoon]

Fortunately, more people are aware of these these days, but you still hear it a lot.

If a female is over 18, she's not a girl, she's a woman.

You hear people referring to women in their 20's as a girl often. You hear men talking about meeting a nice "girl." Can you imagine a woman in her 20's or 30's saying she met a nice "boy?"

Now, if she's your SO and you like to call her a girl, and she doesn't mind it, that's one thing. But if she's just someone you run into in a store, or whatever, that's another.

Please don't refer to adult females as girls, I'll tell you what I tell my cat when I want her to change her behavior,
"Quit it, quit it, quit it, quit it."

[hobbit709]

1. And does the cat listen?

[Orsino]

2. It's bugging me more and more, too. n/t

[One_Life_To_Give]

3. Generational Perhaps?

I have heard the expression "Meet a nice boy" used to refer to a guy in his 20's or 30's. If I go someplace with the inlaws we might comment on "Wonder where the girls are" as opposed to wives.

Maybe it's just my generation or where I grew up. But Man/Woman has a more formal conotation to it for me. I am far more likely to say I am on my way to meet/see the "boys" than to meet the "men". And no matter how old the wife or my sister become they will always be girls in my eyes.

[Captain Hilts]

13. There's no good female version of: 'guy', or 'fellow' or 'beau'. nt

[GoCubsGo]

16. What's wrong with "lady/ladies"?

I don't have a huge problem being called a "lady." Nor, do I understand why some malign this word so much.

[Captain Hilts]

17. 'Lady' is used with 'gentleman'. It assumes a minimum standard of behvavior. It's an earned title.

'Lady' has been ruined by cabdrivers.

"HEY, LADY! LEARN TO DRIVE!" and so forth.

I, too, do not mind being addressed or described as such. In fact, when I am addressing my friends I usually use 'ladies' or 'gentlemen'. I hang with a lot of former sailors who are not used to being addressed as such and they think it's kind of funny.

I ALWAYS err on the side of polite.

[One_Life_To_Give]

19. But young convenience store clerks get upset being called

M'am, Yes M'am, Thank You M'am etc.

Been there, done that, got the strange/horrified looks etc.

[hippywife]

24. Addressing someone as Lady

is awkward and usually used in a derogatory manner. I'm 51 and I don't mind if someone refers to me as a girl. I take it as a compliment. All of the women I work with are of a certain age and no one seems to mind it. We call each other girls. :shrug:

[lazarus]

27. I use lady all the time

Mostly because Tina Fey started using it on 30 Rock, and made it hilarious.

[Captain Hilts]

28. I agree on all counts here. 'Lady' has been nearly ruined. 'Girls' for your peeps

and contemporaries is fine by me.

And the expression used in FAR too much advertising "Men's and ladies coats on sale," drives me crazy. Why do 'women' have to be 'ladies' and 'men' just be 'men' and not 'gentlemen'?

[GoCubsGo]

38. I tend not to see it in derogatory terms...

When I think "lady", I think of British royalty--lords and ladies. Or, "ladies and gentlemen." But, yeah, I do see how it's used in derogatory terms by some. At a 10 days short of 49, I don't mind being called a "girl", either, just as long as the males around me are not called "men" at the same time. It's all relative.

[raccoon]

61. Diff'rent strokes. I'm nearly 60, and I'd rather be called woman, active adult, or

even little old lady than be called girl.

[hippywife]

62. I really think there are bigger issues

in the our lives and the world to get one's panties in a wad over than something this trivial and superficial. Really.

[raccoon]

63. This is the Lounge, for goshsake. Should I post in here about how it pisses me off to pay Medicare

taxes and I don't get Medicare?

[hippywife]

67. You just seem extremely upset

and adamant about something that is very trivial. Doesn't matter where it's posted, it's still a very tiny thing to be so upset about. That's all I'm saying.

[raccoon]

68. I said it was a pet peeve. I expect you get upset about some things

that I'd think were very petty and trivial.

[hippywife]

73. I try not to get peeved

that are of no consequence or completely out of my scope to change.

[redqueen]

33. "Ladies" were traditionally expected not to step out of line...

and to be happy with the very limited roles they were assigned. That's at least my understanding of why some find it offputting.

[Captain Hilts]

37. RIGHTAND that 'women' are held to higher/stricter standards of behavior than men are. The inequity.

[petronius]

23. I think 'girl' is the female 'guy' - it just has two meanings now depending on context

Perhaps 'gal' used to be the girl version of guy, but it seems to have fallen out of favor.

However, the equivalency isn't exact, so 'girl' can sound odd or offensive if the context isn't clear - personally, I avoid it most times, even if I end up with an awkward phrase like 'guys and women' - but it seems that a lot of younger people (like my students) are perfectly comfortable being called girls...

[Captain Hilts]

29. Yes, 'girl' is the closest female-specific version of 'guy'. But in groups of women...

girls or guys is okay with me.

[seabeyond]

64. i cant see an 18 yr old as man, woman. i use gal and guy. or

male/female, depending on subject

[WinkyDink]

74. "You" is plural, and works quite well alone.

[Captain Hilts]

20. Your kin and your peeps can always be boys and girls. nt

[MorningGlow]

4. Even worse

is when older folks (men and women) refer to women over 60 (!) as "girls". My mom (who's 84 but thinks young and is more self-aware) laughed her ass of when her sister (who's 80) said she was going to have "a few of the girls over" for New Year's Eve. My mom was coerced into attending and called me from my aunt's house, begging me to help her escape from the House of the Living Dead!
:rofl:

I realize that's a generational thing, but that's no excuse, IMO.

[Captain Hilts]

14. Again, with single sex groups it's kind of a standard. nt

[Tyrone Slothrop]

5. I hear women in their 20s and 30s refer to men as "boys" all the time

Not a big deal, IMO.

[Captain Hilts]

10. If you are referring to a group of just one sex, it's okay. 'Boys' night out'. 'Lunch with the

girls'.

'Our boys overseas'.

[insanity]

6. I'm a guy in my mid 20s

and I'll continue to call females my age girls. They still call me boy. I think its harmless as long as its not meant to be demeaning.

[redqueen]

7. Doesn't bother me.

I call women girls and men boys often. Not to belittle either... just because sometimes it fits.

[GreenPartyVoter]

45. Same here.

[Gormy Cuss]

8. Where it's inappropriate is in the workplace

and whenever the speaker refers to women as girls but men as guys or men.

[Captain Hilts]

12. BINGO. nt

[ThomCat]

55. Yes, absolutely.

I made quite a few men uncomfortable in the workplace by pointing out that they were working with adults, not little girls.

It is a way of demeaning women, whether that is the intent or not. If you aren't referring to the guys as "boys" then you shouldn't be referring to the women as "girls."

[Captain Hilts]

9. Mine is referring to 'women' as 'females'. 'Female' is not exclusive to humans. nt

[GoCubsGo]

15. That's mine, too.

Especially when they call men "men" and not "males" in the same conversation. I also have issues with approaching a bunch of women and saying, "you guys." I called out a saleswoman at a department store once for that. She came up to my mom, my sister and me, and asked "Are you guys finding everything?" I just told her, "We're not guys, we're women." She slunk off, red-faced. I didn't realize "guys" was a unisex term.

[Captain Hilts]

18. Yes, men can be 'men', but women are called 'females'. Ugh! The military does that

ALL the time.

As a Yankee, 'guys' in the plural for women is very natural to me. "Hey you guys!" can refer to any grouping of the sexes in my world.

'Gals' is grating to me.

[PVnRT]

25. Agreed

It's dehumanizing.

[Captain Hilts]

30. EXACTLY! It includes goats, cats, trees and hose plumbing joints. nt

[Odin2005]

59. Female plumming joints!?!

:wtf:

[Captain Hilts]

66. The ends that go into others are referred to as 'male' and the receiving as 'female'. nt

[Captain Hilts]

11. If it's a group of one sex, it's used for men also. "Our boys overseas," and so forth. nt

[mcctatas]

21. It doesn't really bother me most of the time...

better than 'broads', of course I have only ever heard that in Gangster movies :P

[Deep13]

22. I agree, but would not make 18 the cut off.

That's an arbitrary legal distinction. Traditionally 21 is the age of majority. But yeah, for anyone clearly an adult, terms implying immaturity are condescending and sexist.

I also don't get why adult women refer to their female friends as "girl friends."

[Captain Hilts]

32. We refer to single gender groups usually as 'boys' or 'girls'. Men

play poker with 'the boys' or have 'boys' night out'. Women do the same.

Our 'boys' overseas, and so forth.

[MilesColtrane]

26. I find it weird when young women refer to each other as "dude".

[Captain Hilts]

31. I notice that one too. I'm not sure what I think. nt

[MilesColtrane]

34. I really don't like "dude" for either gender (with apologies to Jeff Bridges), but...

it's especially grating when used to refer to a woman.

Just like the hipsters who call their girlfriends "man".

"Hey man, you want to go catch Zorn at the Knitting Factory?"

[Captain Hilts]

36. Back in the '60s/70s we all did that one. It drove my mother nuts. nt

[EndersDame]

35. One of my female manager got after the old dishwasher who did this

He ssaid that since he was in his 50s we were all young girls to him. My manager said that was ok but we would call him old man . He was ok with that

[racaulk]

39. This OP reminds me of this classic scene from the movie "9 to 5"

Violet to Mr. Hart, after finding out he promoted a less qualified man instead of her:

Violet: Okay... okay, I'm gonna leave, but I'll tell you one thing... don't you ever refer to me as 'your girl' again.
Mr. Hart: What is God's name are you talking about?
Violet: I'll tell you what I'm talking about; I'm no girl, I'm a woman. I'm not you wife... OR your mother.
Violet: (gesturing toward Doralee) Or even your mistress.
Doralee: What?
Violet: I am your employee and as such I expect to be treated with a little dignity and a little respect!

I love Lily Tomlin in this scene! :rofl:

[Richardo]

43. Also in that movie:

Violet (distraught): I'm a murderer!
Judy: No you're not.
Violet: I'm a murderess!

That line made me LOL.

[grace0418]

40. I'm almost 40 and my friends and I refer to one another as girls all the time.

And we also say "boys" as in "She met a nice boy" all the time as well. It doesn't bother me one bit.

[HopeHoops]

41. You have to admit that "girl" is better than "ho" or "wench".

I think we can all agree on that.

[KamaAina]

42. You go, girl!

:P

seriesly, I go to the other extreme: a female over, say, 13 is a "young woman".

[Burma Jones]

44. Well, uh, I go out with the "boys" but none of us are individually referenced as "boy"

How do you feel about "Gal?" Is that acceptable?

I don't think I've ever used "girl" to refer to any post-pubescent female, but I have used Gal, like, "My Grandma made it to age 101, she was a tough old Gal".....

[Captain Hilts]

47. Right. The uses in singular and plural are VERY different. Hence, when Bubba

used the Southernism of the presidential candidates other than Hillary as "these boys." It's a southern thing and it's the collective. He probably should have used a formal term such as 'gentlemen' or even 'fellows', but he didn't as our language is becoming less formal every day.

[Haole Girl]

46. Oops

:hide:

[abq e streeter]

48. Hillary Rodham Clinton : "I'm your girl"

[Captain Hilts]

65. TonyK and Michael Wilbon always refer to guys as 'your boy'. It's pretty standard. nt

[trof]

49. My 65 year old wife hangs out with 'the girls'.

And the husbands are collectively referred to as 'the boys'.
Sorry.
;-)

[flvegan]

50. Besides, "chicks" sounds best.

[Shell Beau]

51. I am guilty of this. It doesn't bother me, but I guess I can see why

it would be bothersome. I do the same with the word "boy".

[Curtland1015]

52. So is "women" the only term that is guaranteed not to offend someone?

I think it's pretty damned boring, language wise, that we can only use one term that's deemed okay by everyone.

Why is it that men are guys, boys, dudes, etc, etc, etc... and women are only women?

BOOOOOOOOOO-ring.

[lillypaddle]

53. This was a pet peeve of mine for years

I was the exec of a women's healthcare medical clinic. Even those under 18, I insisted be called "young women."

I'm 62 now. It no longer bothers me. Hey, call me a "girl." Please. :)

But I understnad what you are saying. It's all relative. "Girl" can seem so diminutive.

I've chilled a lot in this regard. But then again, I've gotten old & fat, and that tends to make one more receptive to anything "diminutive."

Okay. You're right. quit it. quit it. quit it. :)

Language choice really does matter.

[MiddleFingerMom]

60. Diminutive

.
My sister, in her mid-to-late 30's, moved from San Francisco to
SMALL-town Connecticut with her family. Desperate for something
to keep her from dying of boredom, she followed someone's advice
and attended the next meeting of the local Women's Club.
.
Now...... when my sister was a young woman, the name "Bitsy" was
often given to diminutive blondes (for whatever reason).
.
The president of that local Women's Club, 50-even-60-something
bleach-blonde and very gravitationally-challenged, was STILL
desperately clinging to her probably-college-given nickname of
"Bitsy".
.
My sister, being a college-educated woman herself, knew IMMEDIATELY
that she needed to find another diversion with which she could try
to cling to her sanity.
.
And, I'm not sure it's a generational thing. I think older women
(nearing or beyond retirement age) reach a certain point where
they don't resent being referred to as 'girls' -- even calling each
other that. I don't think that's changed one iota in the last 40
years (and undoubtedly long before that).
.
One other thing... young men who call young women "dude" always
make me believe that they're just stuck in an 80's time-warp hipster
Keanu Reeves wannabe phase and/or somewhere on the back end of
whatever bell curve you care to display. Young women who call young
women "dude"... well, that always seems so weird and disturbing that
it just makes me want to go to my happy place and rest for a while.
.
.

[WildEyedLiberal]

54. I'm a woman in my 20s and I rarely refer to male peers as "men"

They are boys, sometimes, or, more often, guys. Sometimes dudes, depending on the context. I have called individual girls "dude" before, too, as in "Hey dude, check this out."

:shrug: Language is highly mutable and changes every generation. All of the examples above are extremely common and not offensive in the slightest - at least, not to me or ANY of the people I hang out with.

I do find "gal" odd - it seems really old-fashioned and hokey and a bit patronizing, to tell the truth. "Ladies" is fine, if there are a group of us - "right this way, ladies" or some such. When a man refers to me as a "lady" or a "young lady," I find it quaint, but not offensive - it's just very formal.

[yawnmaster]

56. I can definitely imagine a woman in her 20's or 30's saying she met a nice boy...

of course parents will often refer to their kids as boys or girls, no matter what the age of the children.

I don't see any problem with it in either case. boy = male, girl = female, usually young, but not necessarily.

[LostInAnomie]

57. I think a lot of people use it as the female equivalent of "guys".

Either way, doesn't bother me.

[Odin2005]

58. My GF calls me "her boy" sometimes and I'm 23.

It's an affectionate usage.

[guitar man]

69. It bothers my wife a little too

She'll say "honey, I'm 42 so that definetely means I haven't been a girl for quite some time, I'm a woman, my *girls* are in my bra"

:rofl:

[Name removed]

70. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[guitar man]

71. you forgot to post your pic

fucking idiot!!

:grr:

[Taverner]

72. What can I say? Everyone gets called "dude" by me, unless its a professional thing

Then its all non descriptive pronouns

[WinkyDink]

75. I'm 60; "dude" would get (I hope) a snappy comeback from me!

[proteus_lives]

76. Everyone uses these.

Men and women.

"Hanging out with the girls." "Going out with the boys."

Like most other terms, it's about how it's used. It be a positive, neutral or negative.