Jesus and Moses are playing golf one day...

[HopeHoops]

Moses pops his straight into the water hazard and tries hard to avoid swearing. He refuses to use his "split the water" trick just out of good sportsmanship. Jesus is not so sportsman-like. He pops his into almost the same spot on the water hazard, but it stops and hovers over the pond. As he walks toward the pond, two hot babes in bikinis come out of nowhere and grab him from each side. He gets to the pond, leaves the chicks, and walks out over the water to the ball. From there, he chips it up onto the green and into the hole.

The group behind them has been watching and one of them asks Moses, "Who the fuck does he think he is, Jesus Christ?"

Moses answers, "No, the asshole thinks he's Tiger Woods."