I'm taking the earthquake very, very hard

[ChickMagic]

I'm having situational depression because of my
infirm father and having to be the primary motivator
to help my mom care for him. I even have to strong
arm him into letting me shower him. That and much,
much more. I'm also adjusting to my pain medicine
being stepped down.

I have been a little weepy in general, but more-so
since the earthquake. I was watching in horror last
night and when I heard about the bulldozers and stacking
dead bodies as roadblocks I completely lost it.

I don't want to avoid the coverage. I've donated and
am thinking about going there to help. I can't realistically
do that because of my dad.

I'm not asking for anything. I just wanted to tell someone,
anyone, what's happening.

Thanks for listening. :hi:

[LeftyFingerPop]

1. I'm taking it quite hard too.

You seem to have your hands very full right now...and being a caretaker is much more difficult than people who have never done it realize.

When you are a caretaker, you are so busy helping someone else, that you sometimes forget to help yourself.

Please take good care of yourself, and keep yourself healthy.

:hug:

[ChickMagic]

2. Thank you LeftyFP

I'm not eating well - usually fries for lunch and
hot pockets for dinner.

My doctor asked me this morning if I'm thinking
suicide and I said, "No. I'm too apathetic for that.
I'm not feeling proactive." He flashed on that and
said, "You've given me an idea. People who take
antidepressants who then commit suicide probably get picked
up just enough to become motivated and proactive!"

So, I helped him too. I'm also having to deal with my
absent sister who chews me out when she thinks I've done
something wrong, or if something happens during workdays
when I can't be there. She's in the metroplex, but absent
(for the most part.)

Thanks for the hug! :hug:

[LeftyFingerPop]

5. I know from where i speak here, and I know what you are going through.

I have been diagnosed as a major depressive for the last 10 years.

During this time, my mother's health turned south and I had to make the decision to place her into a nursing home. This devastated me because I got no support from my siblings.

I chewed out one of my siblings, and her husband has not spoken to me since. I asked for help...I did not get it.

Mom was in the hospital, and it took me about an hour to work up the courage to tell her that her next stop was the nursing home.

I then had to clean out her entire apartment, get her stuff auctioned off, etc. As I was getting toward the end of this, I was failing and I didn't think I would make the time limit.

I phoned my other sibling who is 5 hours away...I told her I needed help and that I would not tolerate any excuses. She arrived with her daughter that evening to help me.

I also called my friend who lives in Baltimore, and told him I need help. He jumped in his car immediately and was here in 5 hours.

Do not be afraid to ask for help.

Also, remember, YOU are extremely important.

[ChickMagic]

11. I've tried to get tough with my sister

but she is full of excuses and gets hostile about it.
What kills me is when I'm showering my dad and treating
his wounds, I just burn up thinking that my sister, a
PA, is trained to do all this stuff.

Thank you so much for responding. I'll try very hard
to try to think of myself a little. :hug:

[Lars39]

3. I know it may sound incredibly selfish and callous,

but you need to turn the tv off the coverage of Haiti and anything else that is a downer. You have to take care of yourself first. I know it's incredibly hard to do that when you are a caregiver. :hug:

[ChickMagic]

4. That's probably good advice

When I heard what Limbaugh and Robertson said, I got
physically nauseous and started getting weepy. I
find myself really, really wanting to go help. I
think that's why I watch. I'm limiting myself to
Keith and Rachel now.

Thanks for the hug. :hug:

[dysfunctional press]

10. "I'm limiting myself to Keith and Rachel now."

have they stopped covering the earthquake..?

watch a movie, or reruns of a sitcom, or go take a walk, or read a book.

[ChickMagic]

12. I hear ya

It did do me good to hear Limbaugh and Robertson
get excoriated. I'll try to take in even less.
Thank you.

[sarge43]

8. What Lars39 said.

Been in your shoes and it's so easy to forget to take care of yourself. That you've donated and just give a damn about the Haitians puts you light years ahead on the good person roster of those who will go unnamed.

Oh yeah, tell your sib to stick a sock in it. :hug:

[ChickMagic]

13. Thank you sarge

My sister definitely needs to stick a sock in it. :)
You made me smile. :hug:

[sarge43]

15. My work here is done. Let's grab a brew.

You be good to yourself, hear.

[ChickMagic]

19. It's on me

:toast:

[sarge43]

20. I'll get the second round

:beer:

[MrCoffee]

6. Hey you

Wish I had some helpful advice...but I can give you a hug and some good thoughts

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

[ChickMagic]

14. I can certainly use those, MrCoffee

:hug: back atcha.

[sarge43]

7. You're not alone; I can barely stand to think about it.

The Haitians have always had a rotten hand dealt to them, now this. It tears at the heart. :cry:

[ChickMagic]

16. It is the worst, sarge

I worry because there is no government. No people
to direct what's happening and bottlenecks in getting
aid to those desperate people. :cry:

Sometimes I feel like I have to watch - that I owe
it to the Haitians to watch. Weird, huh?

[sarge43]

18. No, it's not weird; it's standing witness.

It's called compassion. Just don't use yourself up.

[Kali]

9. It means you are a good human.

I agree with everybody above. Taking care of another person, especially a parent is very self-consuming. Turn off the teevee, go for a walk. Treat yourself to a little air and sunshine if you can.

[ChickMagic]

17. Thank you Kali

I strive all the time to be a better person.
Thank you for your advice - I'm getting the
boot in the butt from you guys to make me
realize that I'm diminishing my ability to
help by not taking care of myself.

[Mopar151]

23. I second that n/t

[applegrove]

21. I'm not taking it hard at all but I am on meds for PTSD so that isn't unexpected. I don't cry at all

really. I did once but I'm certainly not affect by this as much as I should be.

[AsahinaKimi]

22. I am wondering

In 1989 San Francisco had its Earthquake. We were fortunate, with our building codes requiring that buildings be built in a certain way. There could have been far more death and destruction, But I wonder...

If San Francisco was hit as bad as Haiti was today, Would other States jump to respond like the world did for Haiti ...??

Or would People Like Bill O'Reilly, Pat Robertson, and Rush Limbaugh beat their chests and say GOD CHOSE to Strike down the City By the Bay..because of .. (Insert line of Bullshit here)


In the days of Bush as President maybe the Government would not have jumped in, But I know the Obama Administration would.

What a difference a few years make..