Yesterday was really tough for me as far as my addictions go.

[Tobin S.]

I quit smoking nearly two years ago and rarely even think about it now days. But last night at work I had an incredible craving for a smoke that lasted half the night. It was like I just quit yesterday instead two years ago. I managed to get through, but it was really difficult not to stop in some convenience store and get a pack of smokes.

I quit drinking last January, but on the way home from work I started having a similar craving for beer. I even stopped into a convenience store intending to buy some beer. I had a 40 ouncer of beer in my hand and started up to the cashier. Something stopped me, though, and I ended up buying some cookies instead.

Why would those addictions surface after so long of a period of abstinence?

[Roon]

1. I quit smoking 5 years ago next month

still crave..still dream that I am smoking. My Grandmother quit smoking 15 years ago and she still dreams about smoking.

I am struggling with booze too. It seems like every time I get a couple of bucks I end up buying a 40. I don't really want to give up drinking all together, I just want to give up drinking alone. I am not going to give up my beer.

So now when I have a couple of bucks, I walk to the dispensary and buy a bud or a joint instead of walking to the liquor store. The pot shop is two blocks closer than the liquor store too!!

[Tobin S.]

4. I wish I could smoke weed

But there is that addictive part of my personality that would probably make that inadvisable. I also have a CDL and you pretty much have to be squeeky clean or you'll get popped by a random drug test at some point.

[Roon]

6. I used to drive for Werner

Yeah, it's not a good idea to smoke weed if you have a CDL.

[Tobin S.]

10. I hear that's not a great company to work for

Did you get plenty of miles while you were there? Were the pay and benefits okay? How long did they expect you to be on the road before home time?

[Roon]

18. They were good when I drove for them 20 years ago

I made good money..for a 22-year old. We had paper logs back then and everyone pretty much ignored what the tattletale said.

They did have cellphones in the cabs back then also, but they had to yank them all because the drivers were abusing them.

[Roon]

19. PS

We had no GPS tracking back then either.

[Tobin S.]

11. Another question

How did you deal with the homophobia of a lot of drivers out there on the road? Unfortunately, you and I know that many truckers aren't the enlightened type.

[Roon]

20. I kept it to myself..I was married and closeted at the time

I was laid over in new orleans for a week-end once..i hopped the bus to bourbon street, walked into my first gay bar,and the rest is history. I came out (by phone) the next day.

[AllenVanAllen]

2. Stress may have something to do with it.

Have you been under a lot of stress lately? Well, more than usual?

[Tobin S.]

7. Yeah

I've been going through some changes, lately. I'm not extremely stressed, more than usual I guess, though, and I haven't been feeling all that great. I hate to think that those urges might be with me for life as Roon suggested above.

[elleng]

3. Dunno Tobin S.,

but you seem to have been experiencing some intense 'feelings' recently.

Remember, we're WITH YOU!!!

:grouphug:

[Tobin S.]

8. Thanks ellen

:hug:

[MiddleFingerMom]

5. Agree with the stress factor

.
I quit smoking cigarettes in '97 after having smoked for
over 25 years (stop doing the math, I seem to remember
picking up the habit when I was two years old). Was up to
THREE packs a day. Took me two years to come to the state
of mind where I said, "I'm done", but there were NO problems
whatsoever -- no crankiness, no weight gain and, best of
all... no cravings.
.
Until about years 5-7. Not overwhelming cravings, and fairly
infrequent ones... but strong enough to trouble me. None since.
.
I had quit only once before... in the 80's. Same thing - cold
turkey, no cravings... but three months into it, I got bored
on my job, stopped at a gas station for a pack of smokes, and
the very next day was back up to two packs a day.
.
Do NOT give in to your cravings. Probably a response to some
stress in your life right now (that may be subliminal).
.
THIS TOO SHALL PASS. You will be fine again... but only if you
give yourself some time.
.
KICK YOUR HABITS ASSES!!!!!
.

.

[Tobin S.]

9. Thanks MFM

I had a terrible time quitting smoking. I must have tried 50 times before I was successful. I even quit for 7 months one time only to start again. I smoked for 19 years. Started when I was 16 and was up to 2 packs a day before quitting in April of '08. If it weren't for the related health problems I'd probably still be a smoker. I really enjoyed it until I started hacking up unnatural stuff. :)

[WCGreen]

12. 25 plus years with no booze and almost 25 years with no smokes...

It will be 25 years on february 1st.

It gets better. I still dream about slipping, about getting drunk or lighting up...

Those are nightmares to me...

whenever I did get an urge I would just think for a moment and reflect on how much better my life was without those two crutches..

[Tobin S.]

13. I think that's what got me too

I started thinking that I'm probably adding several years onto my life by quitting smoking, and I won't be in misery that last few years- well, not from something that is smoking related and my doing.

And I think the booze was a bigger crutch for me (crutch is a very apt word). After all, I drank for nearly a year after I quit smoking. I've been going through some psychological difficulty lately, and I have seen how drugs and alcohol can hinder progress in that area by allowing users to avoid dealing with their problems. In the process they create another problem that has the potential for life ruination as well.

[hippywife]

14. You are a very strong and vital person, Tobin.

You put your life out here for all of us to see and, I suspect to keep yourself accountable. You've been through the worst part of this. I know you can beat those occasional cravings.

You are awesome! Remember that! :hi:

[Tobin S.]

15. Thank you very much

Keeping the bad stuff under control is a part of it, but I think that equally it is the fact that I don't have anyone in my life to share this stuff with. I'm working on that and in the mean time you guys can help keep me on the straight and narrow. :hi:

[Callalily]

16. Who really knows what

triggers cravings, many factors I'm sure. But I'm glad that you did not give in, and I know that was difficult.

You are very admired by many here and have taught us all so much. It's always a pleasure to read your posts, although I may not always reply.

:hi:

[Tobin S.]

17. Thank you

That's a very nice thing to say. It gives me a boost in the confidence department. I've been feeling bad about myself, lately. :hi: