Cheer me up, dammit.

[WilliamPitt]

:(

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

1. Ethel Merman was neither half fish nor half man.

Discuss.

[WilliamPitt]

4. Lies

All lies.

[Tikki]

70. Whenever I feel like you do now...I take control of my...

life and feelings by listening to this kind of...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s4C_IqLqWfA
"Disneyland"...The Eyes
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XNWJSi2kOuA
"TAQN"....The Eyes

This kind of music just does it for me...

You will find your way...you are actually a real-type person.


Tikki

[EastTennesseeDem]

2. .

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=2102167018127011904&q=unicycle#

[WilliamPitt]

5. Just what I needed

More Bush footage.

:P

[MiddleFingerMom]

25. That was MEAN!!!!!!

.
Imagine my disappointment after excitedly clicking on the link and
discovering it WASN'T Ethel Merman porn after all.
.

.

[WilliamPitt]

27. You'll be swell! You'll be great! Gonna have the whole world on a plate!

Touch me where I pee!

...mmm...

No. Ethel Merman porn, not so much.

[NightWatcher]

3. smile

[WilliamPitt]

6. I see your smile and raise you...

[NightWatcher]

8. Poont!, I win

[WilliamPitt]

13. No sex threads

[NightWatcher]

14. sex? bananas are good food, you perv

[WilliamPitt]

19. No smile, I win

BRING IT ON!

[Maraya1969]

7. Take this test

http://www.funny-funny-pictures.com/insanity/

[WilliamPitt]

15. Bweeeeeeeee!

Used to show that to my students when they were bummed out. Worked like voodoo.

Still does.

:hug:

[La Lioness Priyanka]

9. we new yorkers cant judge you, we elected Blomberg

if we hadn't, i would be judging MA harshly.

[kentauros]

12. I'll laugh at that!

:P

[La Lioness Priyanka]

16. thanks

:)

[kentauros]

10. "Only great people do drugs"

Bill Hicks - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oc9mZPA_z5A&feature=related

:D

[WilliamPitt]

17. How dare you have an alcoholic tell me not to do drugs.

:)

[LynneSin]

11. He's only there for 2 years

:D

[WilliamPitt]

18. Yeah, what's 730 days among friends.

:banghead:

[LynneSin]

22. I survived 8 years with Rick Santorum

Just hope Mass Dems are more organized then PA Dems were in 2000 when we really should have unloaded his sorry ass back then.

This is why I don't believe in protest votes. Because you may have to live with your mistakes made.

[MiddleFingerMom]

26. Santorum n/t

[Brother Buzz]

20. NASCAR season starts next month

I hear it's all turning left.

[WilliamPitt]

23. He's here all night. Try the veal, don't forget to tip the waitresses.

:P

[Mopar151]

66. At least 'till we get to Watkins Glen

Or is it Sonoma? After my spotter takes a couple of those winery tours, the boy don't know up from down! regards, Bubba's Brain

[Brother Buzz]

69. Yes, both are road courses and

and both favor right turns. Perhaps you should locate your steering wheel on the right side to feel more comfortable, it's what all the vintage British racing cars appear to do at Sonoma.

It's important to keep your spotter in his comfort zone so you should tell him that is is more than acceptable to drink beer, and there's an old saying in Sonoma Valley — I know it's in Texas, probably in Napa too, "It takes a lot of beer to make wine".

[Mopar151]

72. Long as we can keep him out of the hard cider

When we go to Loudon! Once was enough.. One a' them stump jumpers up there gave him a jug without no label, said it came from a tiltin' Hilton - we found him talkin' to a gas pump, he thought he was in a Bryar Patch or sumtnin', kept tellin me we was goi'n the wrong way around, and to watch out for the turtles in the pond. We had to lock him in the hauler! Got one of the Modified drivers to spot for us - we done Ok, once I figured out "Son of a howah!" meant check up....

[Brother Buzz]

73. Sounds like he scored some Scrumpy

that's fighting cider and if he consumed enough of it he would not know the difference between Bristol, Tenn, and Bristol, England.

I understand the pit crew boys over there drink it an never even bother with floor jacks. You can always identify the jack man, he weighs between 25 and 30 stones, wears hobnail boots, has very large rough hands, and a scrumpy blossom on his face.

[Mopar151]

75. Sounds like the boys from Belmont

Just up the road....The pit steward at their "local" makes them park next to the dumpster so as to keep the empties under control.

[jmowreader]

76. They have winery tours in both places

As I was driving through Watkins Glen one day, I thought to myself, "is it me, or are ALL America's great road courses stuck between two wineries?"

[PVnRT]

21. HST quotes:

"Bill Clinton does not inhale marijuana, right? You bet. Like I chew on LSD but I don't swallow it.'"

"Did you see Bush on TV, trying to debate? Jesus, he talked like a donkey with no brains at all...It was pitiful...I almost felt sorry for him, until I heard someone call him 'Mr. President,' and then I felt ashamed."

"Jesus! How much more of this cheap-jack bullshit can we be expected to take from that stupid little gunsel? Who gives a fuck if he's lonely and depressed down there in San Clemente? If there were any such thing as true justice in this world, his rancid carcass would be somewhere down around Easter Island right now, in the belly of a hammerhead shark."

"Nixon was a professional politician, and I despised everything he stood for -- but if he were running for president this year against the evil Bush-Cheney gang, I would happily vote for him."

"Bush is a natural-born loser with a filthy-rich daddy who pimped his son out to rich oil-mongers. He hates music, football and sex, in no particular order, and he is no fun at all."

"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me."

"The genetically vicious nature of presidential campaigns in America is too obvious to argue with, but some people call it fun, and I am one of them. Election Day -- especially a presidential election -- is always a wild and terrifying time for politics junkies, and I am one of those, too. We look forward to major election days like sex addicts look forward to orgies. We are slaves to it."

"Who does vote for these dishonest shitheads?"

[WilliamPitt]

24. Ahhhhhh...

:toast:

[Fire Walk With Me]

28. The most recent garfield minus garfield.

http://garfieldminusgarfield.net/post/341036885/try-garfield-minus-garfield-the-book

[WilliamPitt]

29. ...

"Garfield Minus Garfield is a site dedicated to removing Garfield from the Garfield comic strips in order to reveal the existential angst of a certain young Mr. Jon Arbuckle. It is a journey deep into the mind of an isolated young everyman as he fights a losing battle against loneliness and depression in a quiet American suburb."

Ho.

Lee.

Shit.

:rofl:

That did it.

THANK YOU.

[KamaAina]

30. Well, you're only about a 45-minute drive from New Hampshire.

Or Rhode Island, for that matter.

[Call Me Wesley]

31. If this isn't cheerful, I don't know what is:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WlBiLNN1NhQ

Okay, there's this, too:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9PiqCeLEmM

[Beetwasher]

32. You've Got A Cool Mom, A Lovely Wife, Cats

Lot's of friends and a local pub that serves cold beer. And this too shall pass.

How'm I doin'?

[WilliamPitt]

33. Solid.

:toast:

[Midlodemocrat]

34. Your mom is amazing and your wife is beautiful.

But, I thought you were cuter with hair.



:hide:

Kidding!!!!

:loveya:

[WilliamPitt]

49. Hair thumbnail

New thumbnail hotness:



No reply. Hrumph.

:P

[Midlodemocrat]

51. Loving the hair, dude.

AND, I follow you on twitter. THAT'S how dedicated a minion I am. Tell Raven I said Hi. She's awesome.

[WilliamPitt]

50. dupage

[Swede]

35. The election loss got a bunch of trolls tombstoned here on DU.

They couldn't help but gloat.

[WilliamPitt]

40. Anyone I know?

[mopinko]

52. i thought it was quiet around here.

figured the mods had their hands full.

[UrbScotty]

36. Maybe some quotes will help.

"Fear not the path of truth for the lack of people walking on it." - Robert F. Kennedy

"Aim above morality. Be not good; be good for something." - Henry David Thoreau

"I believe... that every human mind feels pleasure in doing good to another." - Thomas Jefferson

"For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone. - Audrey Hepburn

"Remember, happiness doesn't depend upon who you are or what you have, it depends solely upon what you think." -Dale Carnegie

"Let your life be a friction against the machine." - Henry David Thoreau

"The lifetime crusade of your days must be to develop a new energy ethic to sustain life on earth. Cherish sunsets, wild creatures and wild places. Have a love affair with the wonder and beauty of the earth." - Stewart Udall

"Love life, engage in it, give it all you've got. Love it with a passion, because life truly does give back, many times over, what you put into it." - Maya Angelou

"How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world." - Anne Frank

"A good head and a good heart are always a formidable combination." - Nelson Mandela

[A-Schwarzenegger]

37. ...

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104x387808#387843

[WilliamPitt]

41. Look how cute and tiny we were!

Damn. I'd love to have a day to explore the dusty old vault you pulled that from.

There was a thread about an animal. The animal had a name. Hook a sad bastard up and throw me that link.

You know what I'm talking about.

[kayakjohnny]

43. Oscar?

The mixed breed mutant creation that existed in one brilliant and deluded poster's mind. That had everyone riveted to the nonsense til it got locked for bandwidth reasons, supposedly?

That one?

[WilliamPitt]

45. That one

A-Schwarzenegger could kill and maim amongst the populace with wild abandon, rob banks, deface fine art, poop on the Pope, smoke in an Olive Garden with Nader and three pit bulls, A-Schwarzenegger could commit any crime or offense profligately, and he will still be greeted in Heaven by flights of angels singing his name...because of that one thread.

[kayakjohnny]

46. Found it.....

Have at it, but it's a long download even with highspeed.

Cheers.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=624815

And I think I read that it's 6 years old this week.

What does that tell ya?

[WilliamPitt]

47. It tells me

I need to get out more.

:rofl:

[A-Schwarzenegger]

57. Could I fart at the opera?

:*

[Call Me Wesley]

38. Oh, sure, I'm the only one who doesn't get a reply.

You know what, I'm spilling the beans on you:



Take that! ;)

[WilliamPitt]

42. Can I haz desk?

I'm sure you saw this, but he's on the monitor, too.

Freeze Frame! (da da da dah-dah-dah dah-dah)

No reply. Pfff.

;)

[Midlodemocrat]

48. Nope. That distinction goes to me.

Sigh.

[kentauros]

39. Mrs. Miller wants to help out, too

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uV0MtVWIN8Y

[WilliamPitt]

44. I . . . you . . . that . . . why . . . wha . . .

It burns.

P.S. The pic for that video seems more than a bit pornographic. Look again.

Yeah. Now it's in your head.

:P

[applegrove]

53. If the Repukes vote no en mass to a jobs bill or reregulating wall street they will be alienating

the electorate. IMHO.

[jobycom]

54. The Patriots won't lose another game this season.

:)

[kgnu_fan]

55. Here you go

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O88k4i6pF1A

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SBZFJz_spzY&feature

[SOteric]

56. I gotchyer face.

[Jade Fox]

58. Okay, read this.....

It cheered me up.:shrug:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=433x141563

[tblue]

59. Hey, you could be them:

[Heidi]

60. Remember, Will: You asked for this.

Our cat's always-hungry brother, Barley, begging at our patio door when he was a kitten.
(He lives across the street with my sister-in-law, but he's The Wiley and Excellent Boy Cat Named Ginger's best buddy/litter mate.)

[MilesColtrane]

61. Can't do it.

I lost a friend this week,

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x7528549

and I'm being tossed out of my crib because it's being torn down to build a McMansion on the lot.

[lazarus]

62. It wouldn't have mattered either way

There are about 40 progressives and 40 conservatives in the Senate, with 20 "centrist" assholes who run the country. One seat isn't going to change anything.

[RFKHumphreyObama]

63. Well OK

(1) You have a Democratic Governor.
(2) Most, if not all, of the major state political offices in your state are held by Democrats
(3) So you have one Republican Senator. But all the rest of the congressional delegation are Democrats and all but one of them are solid progressive Democrats to the left of the Democratic Caucus. And even the one who is slightly more conservative is not a Blue Dog
(4) You still have a great progressive Senator in John Kerry
(5) Scott Brown will pollute the national scene for only three years. His election, while deeply disgusting, sad and deplorable, will hopefully gavlanize the state Democratic Party and give it renewed energy and drive going into 2012. And come 2013, chances are that we'll have a great progressive in that seat again. Three years does seem like a long time but the reward at the end will be well worth the wait

[AllenVanAllen]

64. I don't feel like dancing.

Do you?



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hTeZPHPKdps

[struggle4progress]

65. Jesse Helms used to be my Senator. And Elizabeth Dole, too. And Lauch Faircloth: I worked

really hard to replace Lauch Faircloth with an up-and-coming young lawyer named John Edwards, who ran twice for President, again with me working hard to support him: perhaps you've heard of him?

Buck up

:D

[Deep13]

67. BE HAPPY GODDAMMIT !!!!!

How's that.

[unpossibles]

68. have you seen the new OK Go video?

http://vimeo.com/8718627

[YankeyMCC]

71. Perhaps a bit of perspective

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17jymDn0W6U&feature=player_embedded


No matter how disappointed, angry or sad you feel (and as a fellow citizen of the commonwealth I have the same feelings over that election result) the world, the universe is still ok...not happy bliss kind of ok, just ok.

Unfortunately Brown may cause more suffering or at least delay some relief of suffering and fortunately you are still here, still able to write and do all your good work to change things for the better as are so many others.

The road is never easy but it is always there. And really this is all to important to take so seriously. :)

Have a smile, do something you love!

[Arugula Latte]

74. The Yellowstone caldera's gonna blow and we're all gonna die.

So, none of this Supreme Court/Brown/no Healthcare reforms stuff will matter anyway.

:)

[Petrushka]

77. Mensa Invitational 2009 Winners

The Washington Post's Mensa invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are the 2009 winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2. Ignoranus : A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

3. Intaxication : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

8. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon : It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

12.. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido : All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n.) : Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your Bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.



The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

And the winners are:

1. Coffee , n. The person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted , adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

3. Abdicate , v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade , v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly , adj. Impotent.

6. Negligent , adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

7. Lymph , v. To walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle , n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence , n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash , n. A rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle , n. A humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude , n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon , n.. A Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster , n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism , n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent , n. An opening in the front of jockey shorts worn by Jewish men.