Women - What's your take on terms of 'Endearment'?

[Dystopian]

Personally, I am turned off by someone calling me 'Babe' or any of the myriad terms men use.
Why? Because after all these years I know that the guy has used these 'names' when addressing all the other women who came before me.
After a short while, one will get my icy stare followed by, "My NAME is Dystopian"
Men are so shallow is this way. They are clueless and think that we think we're the first 'Babe'
I've always called men by their given names.

What do you think, Babe? I need to know if I'm the only one who feels like this.


peace~

[blueamy66]

1. I like terms of endearment.

I call my fiance Bubba or MRD, his intials.....he hates it, but I love it.

If he wants to call me honey, go for it. It warms my heart.

Now, if a stranger calls me something along those lines.....no way.

[Dystopian]

3. Thank you : )

In an established relationship...all is well when it's a 'first'
You've probably not called another man Bubba...and never MRD.
This is the beauty of it all...

A stranger is different...And a stranger can be someone recently met...An interest, yet still a stranger.
When it works for you...all is wonderful.
Thank you for putting the needed perspective on this...it helped to clarify what I was trying to convey.

Wishing you and MRD peace and love~

[blueamy66]

24. Thank you for that response.

It's the first thing I've read this morning and now I'll have a nice day.

[Ptah]

2. oh babe0376, you're the only one

:hi:

[Dystopian]

4. I know it's true because you said so

:spray:
Thank you for making me smile, Babe..
That was too cute...
And you do make me smile a lot:hug:
Hope all is well with you and your beautiful family...
:loveya:

peace~

[Swede]

5. Thank god women don't use terms of endearment.

Women are so deep this way.

[Dystopian]

8. I agree....

I was extremely self-absorbed when posting and didn't realize how sexist...:o
I had to laugh...Now I can't take it back....
Thanks, Babe ;-)
The older we get, the deeper we fall...into the abyss of depth.

peace~

[Swede]

23. Peace to you too.

Pumpkin.

:hide:

[PassingFair]

31. Don't sweat it, Sugar.

:hide:

[Dystopian]

41. I won't : )

I don't sweat, Babe..
I glisten :D

peace~

[NNadir]

6. It, and "The Trouble With Harry" were the only two Shirley McLain Movies I could stand.

Well, there was, "Being There." That wasn't too bad.

[Dystopian]

10. Odd....

Although the subject line wasn't about the movie....I lived it..including the scene at the nurses station.
Thankfully...my daughter lived.
We saw the movie together when she was very young....before her illness struck.
Stranger...She's now the head nurse....
And I wasn't quite as horrid as the mother that she portrayed...

Memories....



peace~

[NNadir]

13. I had a scene at a nurse's station myself involving a dying woman and a very stupid

"policy" that involved - until I reached the doctor to talk some practical sense into the situation - putting a woman with Cheney Stokes breathing on a K-Thermia blanket to try to break a fever.

I know that nursing is a hard job, and that dealing with the families of the terminally ill but geeze...

Gawd!!

I happen to know that if I, and some other members in my family, hadn't been in the room, they wouldn't have even looked to see if she was dead yet.

Congratulations on the survival part of it, though on your end.

I knew what the thread was about, of course, but couldn't resist. That was a very good, a very real movie. It was still in the days when watching Debra Winger die of cancer was, um, new.

[Dystopian]

42. Thank you...

For being there in that moment...:hug:
And also for your kind words regarding the survival part...there is more yet to come.


peace~

[barb162]

7. I haven't seen it for so long I don't remember the term "Babe"

but I liked the film, especially Nicholson falling out of the car.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

9. that whole first date was hilarious.

I like that movie.

[Captain Hilts]

27. The first date was one of THE greatest dates on film. nt

[Brickbat]

11. I've never been called a generic endearment, it's always a silly nickname.

And those are fine, IMO.

[Dystopian]

43. Agree...

Goofy nicknames are absolute...
Generic....is generic. You're one of the fortunate ones
Hmmmm...either that or very young...:-)
Thank you for your input...

peace~

[bluesbassman]

12. I think one should be "dear" to someone before using a term of Endearment..

Using such terms outside of a relationship generally comes off as smarmy or at the very least insincere.

[Pool Hall Ace]

19. Uh oh, it just occurred to me ...

Is this a California Peggy-bashing thread in disguise?? :rofl:

Seriously -- I absolutely hated it when I was younger. I remember one instance where I was talking with a co-worker about investing. He began to say, "Here's some advice from an old man to a young girl --"

I said, "WAIT! Stop right there. You were born in 1956. I was born in 1962. You were not even cutting your adult teeth when I was a baby, and you are now an old man and I'm a young girl?"

So he corrected himself and referred to me as a young woman. He still didn't exactly get it.

A former female co-worker used to call me "Ladybug." That bothered me more than any endearing term from a man.

These days, the endearing terms don't bother me so much. Especially since my alcoholic husband has called me a b*tch and a c*nt.

[Dystopian]

45. Sorry : (

The male co-worker didn't get it...
The female co-worker was just a tad off...

I'm so very sorry about the alcoholic husband:( :hug:
No one should be called those names...
At this point in life I've heard quite a bit, also. I couldn't deal with that...
I'm hanging here not knowing what to say...that is so very wrong.:hug:

peace & love to you~

[Dystopian]

44. You, Mr. Bassman...

are what all men should be!:D
:hi:

peace~

[bluesbassman]

46. Thanks Babe!

:rofl:

Although I know you're just saying that because you like my taste in music. :hug:

[Dystopian]

60. You're wrong, Babe!

I was just saying that because I LOVE your taste in music...:hug:
And you gave the right answer...my right answer, of course.:D
Stop laughing!
Everything reminds me of a song..

Stop
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CdMf-86Evro


peace~

[seabeyond]

14. my husband said my name the other day, and felt so odd. hadnt heard from his lips in so long

i call hubby, baby, just do. dont know why. and he does the same with me.

when dating someone, or a guy i dont know well, no. i didnt like them. felt insincere, or fake

[Dystopian]

47. I think that's sweet.....

If it's something long-standing...and just the way you both are with each other...it sounds nice.
I think I may be overly sensitive regarding this subject...Overly to some...
Especially when there is much more beyond ....

The insincerity of one not known well is just a loud noise...
Loud noises...alas.


peace~

[GreenPartyVoter]

80. Around here, if I say "Baby" I get responses from both the hubby and the youngest child. LOL Yes, m

I still call my littlest man "Baby."

[Orrex]

15. I confess that I tend to call all women "Dystopian"

Like, "Hey, Dystopian. Nice gams!"

Or "Hey, Dystopian, you want to see where the horse bit me?"


Works like a charm.

[Captain Hilts]

21. Okay, I laughed. nt

[Dystopian]

48. I love it, Orrex!

:spray:
Life would just flow if I could call all men Orrex!
OMG...lol

Thank you for making me lighten up...if only for but a moment..
And yes...would you please show me where the horse bit you?

I need to stop....too funny!
But seriously...Orrex...I really want you...
Did that work like a charm?
*giggle*

peace~

[LeftyMom]

16. Mine can call me whatever he wants.

I don't care what he called other women in his life, I know how he feels about me, and I'm not in any kind of competition with the ghosts of relationships past.

[Dystopian]

61. No competition here...

:hi:
I don't feel any type of competition with ghosts of relationships past. It's all about my identity. Everyone has a past. That's life.... A lifetime of past relationships..... It's a matter of who I am. I was married 2X and went back to my maiden name each time. Ghosts of former relationships don't enter the picture...a non-issue. I won't devle into years of relationships....flings, one night stands, marriage(s), etc. It's the fact that certain men feel entitled to take a name and throw it at anyone and everyone. Personally, I find it shallow....We're all different, hence different standards. You don't question it or find it personally offensive because of present feelings......That works for you...then it's all good.

I have a name... irregardless of feelings...past or present.


peace~

[unpossibles]

17. I tend to use the real name or one which comes to me

Most of my SO's have had nicknames/petnames, but I don't like "Babe" or other similar names, honestly.

That said, I have a good friend (female) who calls me "babe" but it's platonic so not the same issue and I don't mind it from her because I've known her for two decades.

Babe is one of my least favorite petnames though. Like, cringeworthy.

[Dystopian]

64. Cringeworthy!

:hi:
We're on the same page....
A female co-worker called me 'Baby' ....yesterday! It was fine because of context...

"Every time I look at you I feel like doing this!" (peace sign)
"Peace and love, Baby!"

I was not offended...How could that possibly be offensive? I also tell my dearest female friends, "I love you" and call them Sweetie.
Yes...it's all about 'that kind' of man...
It's a different situation with men....I have limited friendships with men...and the term Sweetie when used in platonic and true friendship is different.

We know where it's at;)

peace~

[retread]

18. Babe is a term of endearment?? n/t

[Shell Beau]

36. My husband sometimes calls me babe, and I like it.

I also call him babe, so yes it is a term of endearment. It isn't like he says "hey hot babe". It is meant in an endearing way.

[Dystopian]

65. Lack of a better word?

:hi:

It isn't in my book...the one I wrote in my head:D
It's really not a term of endearment...It's a simple term.....very simple.

How long is a term?
Oh...And it makes me wonder ...



peace~

[Captain Hilts]

20. Terms of Endearment should be turned off after MacLaine and Nicolson's first date. nt

[Captain Hilts]

22. To specifically answer your question, if it's one you've earned, it's okay, but nothing generic is

acceptable.

[seaglass]

25. I love when someone uses terms of endearment, it softens my heart.

Hell, I was talking to a tech on the phone yesterday and he used one - did not feel offended at all. And I know he didn't mean to offend. :-)

[redqueen]

26. When someone I'm very close to does it, I love it.

I call my kids 'sweetie' all the time, and one day at work I accidentally called a co-worker sweetie. I blushed like crazy but he said it was no problem and I could do it anytime. :P

[theNotoriousP.I.G.]

28. I'd give anything to hear Markus

call me baby one more time. That was his nickname for me and since I was the only woman he had ever been with, there was no baggage. He'd walk in the door after work and announce "hi baby, I'm home" and then come kiss me.

[redwitch]

32. Are you holding up ok?

I hate to even ask, it's seems like a dumb question really. I have been thinking of you. :hug:

My husband calls me babe. Married 27 years. He calls me by my name too sometimes. :-)

[theNotoriousP.I.G.]

37. Trying to take it one day at a time

today is not a good day. Very sad and lots of sobbing. Maybe tomorrow will be better. Thanks for thinking of me :hug:

[redwitch]

39. I hope tomorrow is better.

One foot in front of the other as best you can. And cry when you need to. :hug:

[Dystopian]

29. Kicking....on a mission

I must get back to some most interesting responses...
I don't think I can do it in the moment...
I've been held captive for days....:D

Mission to keep from archives accomplished...


peace~

[Skittles]

30. aw it depends on the context, how it's used

for example, "Big Mike" at work (6'5", 350 pounds) has always called me BABY GIRL but I'd kick the ass of any other guy who said that; yes INDEED

[BrklynLiberal]

33. I hate those "terms of endearment".

I figure
maybe the person cannot remember my name..

and

He has used it on every other woman he has been with.

[Dyedinthewoolliberal]

34. If we were a couple

and I said, "Can I get you something to drink babe?" would that be wrong?
:)

[nolabear]

35. Where I come from EVERYBODY calls everybody "Baby."

Or "Darlin'". I love it. Shmoopy I'm not crazy about.

[carlyhippy]

38. being from the south, and from another era it seems, the word "darlin" was used widely

I am not offended by it at all.

[Ilsa]

40. Sweetheart, darlin, babe are all terms I'm fine with because

I know what the person means. And yes, he uses my name, too, alot, and that means alot. I call him "my Love", and he seems to like it.

[sakabatou]

49. My fiance and I have several terms for each other.

[2georgeorwell]

50. i love terms of endearment

babe, honey, darling, shitbrain,,,,it doesn't matter, what's
important is that it is coming from love.Oh how i wish someone
would call me babe. I wouldn't question.  I'd be thankful. I
wouldn't complain. I'd be thankful.  That i had someone with
me calling me babe. Because i understand it is a gift of
affection. What good would a man be to a woman if he didn't
desire to touch her? Yet some women think a man's desire is
nothing but selfishness!  It truly is amazing that hot energy
can yield the beauty of love. Cherish it. 

[CBR]

51. My husband calls me 'baby' -- I call him 'baby' and 'boogie' nt

[Kali]

52. aw it beats the hell out of

dumbass:rofl:

grew up in the west, live in a rural area they still call you hun, or darlin' around here.

[Missy Vixen]

53. We call each other "honey"

My husband has another nickname for me that's private.

I don't like it when men I'm not married to call me "honey," "sweetheart" or "babe".

[grace0418]

54. It kinda depends on the term and who's saying it.

Obviously, when a close friend, relative or my husband calls me something endearing, I like that very much. But conversely it doesn't *always* bother me when a stranger says it, depending on who they are and what they say. I can't always even put my finger on exactly why, but some people can just get away with calling me dear or honey and I find it sweet. Others creep me out when they do it. If they're giving off a vibe like they are trying to make me feel less important, less in control, less mature, then it bugs me. Or if I can tell they're good old boys who are super sexist and inappropriate, that's gross too.

I almost always like it when people call me Gracie or Miss Grace, can't explain that either. I normally get annoyed when people just assume someone goes by a particular nickname. My brother is one of those guys who, when someone says his name is Micheal or Robert or Christopher, will immediately reply "Hi Mike/Bob/Chris..." That grates on my nerves.

[Mad_Dem_X]

55. Only my husband can call me "Babe"

If any other man tried calling me that, he'd get an earful, at the very least.

[kimmie666]

56. you are right

I don't like men either. They are so selfish. They are stupid. When a man tells me, "I love you", I think, what does he want now?

[2georgeorwell]

57. you sound like you've been hurt

you see the vast majority of responders love being called anything by their lovers...jus' sayin'....can you imagine smiling with love at a woman you love, and being answered with contempt?

[kimmie666]

58. i'd like to meet you

you sound smart and maybe you can help me love....i want to love...but i can't stop questioning everything....can't shut my mind off....i look in the mirror and shake my head at myself...i wanna change...will you help me? please?

[2georgeorwell]

59. i'd like to help

but i'm afraid you'll hurt me....see, i suspect you don't realize that i have feelings. i've been in a brief relationship with a babe like you, and it was very very painful....the troth i plied just made her sneer....you need to assure me things would be different...that you've looked in the mirror...

[kimmie666]

62. icy stare

to someone who has called you an endearment? ouch....look in the mirror

[2georgeorwell]

66. ease up, kimster

es complicato, usted sabe....neuropathy ought to elicit compassion, not contempt...she can't be happy....unable to be satisfied....unable to bathe in love...to radiate love....wait a minute...i've seen her happy and satisfied...fragile, though....i don't know, kimmie....

[kimmie666]

67. don't tell me you still care about her

even if you do, there's nothing you can do

[2georgeorwell]

68. of course i'll always care

i hope she just ....smiles....but, kimmie, you're not gonna believe this... sassy picks up the phone and hits speed dial....i walk in...who ya callin'?....i take the phone....her message is playing...i was so chagrined....honest

[kimmie666]

69. considering the neuropathy, what was so great about her?

do you like hitting yourself over the head with a hammer? i don't get it...

[datasuspect]

71. THIS IS THE BEST DU EXCHANGE EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Lil Missy]

73. yeah! do you think .....

Naaaaaah! Couldn't be.

[seabeyond]

78. so great, lol. nt

[2georgeorwell]

72. kimmie you don't get it

she let me hug her....i don't know what she was feeling...i only know i felt...like a thirsty man who'd found water...but...she always looked at me...my gratitude was always suspect...

[kimmie666]

74. there's a song

maybe we should all listen to now...starship...good heart...use your headphones....i'll give a good heart ....honest and true...a shoulder to lean on....

[2georgeorwell]

75. thanks for sending that song, kimmie

it moved me tremendously...and it made me think...in the depths of my sadness....aren't most of the songs sung by women written by men....don't get me wrong....but, isn't it men who yearn, and women who reject?....is it an illusion to take seriously the songs sung by women?

[raccoon]

79. Well, SOMETIMES, SOME men, when they say that, they're just trying to get in your pants. nt

[tigereye]

63. I like sweetie

[hippywife]

70. If some strange person

who I do not know is using it, I stop them in their tracks as you do. Husband doesn't use them at all and I have no problem with that.

:hi: :*

[Solly Mack]

76. I like being Booty-Butt Baby

and he's my little squirrel patty

Strangers shouldn't try this though. Wouldn't be prudent.

[old mark]

77. My wife calls me sweetie.

because I am diabetic




mark:rofl:

[snooper2]

81. well bless your heart honey..

:)