i'm gonna put it to you like this:

[datasuspect]

-if you ain't winning, you are losing

-you must haul ass and get paid

-it's a tough business

-only the strong survive

i have long term mood and personality disorders and lifelong depression, but no matter how bad or hopeless i feel, i have to go where i need to be and make money for the company.

if i am not bringing in revenue, i don't have a job. there is no other use for me. i can't be overhead.

so i must haul ass and get paid no matter what. no excuses. no matter how bad i feel or however fucked up my attitude is, i have to catch it and replace it.

sometimes, even to this day, i fantasize about sticking guns in my mouth. but i don't have the courage to do that.

it's what they call ideation. people can be very complicated and simple at the same time.

[Haole Girl]

1. You had me right up until the "i fantasize about sticking guns in my mouth."

:-(