I fell off the toilet last night.

[LeftyFingerPop]

Here's some advice for you... "Don't ever do that".

You're welcome.

[MiddleFingerMom]

1. Most people refer to it as "falling off the wagon"...

.
...but who am I to judge your perception of the depths (snicker) of your depravity?
.

[Dr. Strange]

2. Is that anything like falling off the wagon?

'Cause if so, that would explain why the wagon smells like it does.

[MiddleFingerMom]

3. IBTDS

.
In Before The Dr Strange.
.

[Dr. Strange]

16. Curse you and your fast typing!

The speed of your middle finger is remarkable.

[Kali]

4. again?!

good thing you don't have an Asian squatter}(

[Kaleva]

10. This guy ended up water skiing while using one of those toilets.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qma9KhLlCzc&feature=related

[Ghost in the Machine]

5. It's a good thing you removed all the potatoes from your home...

just sayin'....

[Tuesday Afternoon]

6. must have been one hella

*burp*

[elshiva]

7. Thanks for the advice, handsome.

You belch words of wisdom.

[nytemare]

8. I've fallen asleep on the toilet.

I don't think I'd recommend that, either. Makes for a numb bum.

[MiddleFingerMom]

9. As a young man, I (ahem) fell asleep on a bar toilet... twice.

.
It's not so bad, being locked in a fully-stocked bar all night.
.
Not so bad, 'tall.
.
In fact, some suggest the second time was no accident.
.
.
.
The first time, I awoke in COMPLETE darkness utterly disoriented.
My first thought was that I had been mugged and had collapsed
in a dark alley. I had been mugged close to a year before and
the event had been so terrifying that I was still traveling heavily
armed wherever I went.
.
I reached immediately for the knife on my belt, only to realize for
the first time that my pants were down around my ankles.
.
Uh-oh, I thought. Um... this was not just a mugging.
.
It wasn't NEAR that calm an assessment, but you get the point.
.
I figured out what actually happened pretty quickly.
.
.
.
All IS well that ends well... and the ridiculousness of the
event dispelled my fears and I stopped packing all those weapons.
.

[LeftyFingerPop]

11. Holy cow...

"All IS well that ends well..."

That was the exact phrase I used when discussing my situation with a friend.

As an aside...I want to tell you that I really appreciate your humor...you are a fantastic addition to the lounge! :hi: :thumbsup:

[MiddleFingerMom]

19. Thank you.

:hi:
.
You probably know that Kali thought our humor so similar that
she thought you were me in disguise (hence, all other readers,
my screen name).
.
My first humble, modest and unpretentious thought was, "Will
that Lounge be BIG enough for comic-genius/squared?"
.
It -- I am happy to say -- is.
.

.

[MrMickeysMom]

12. Something must have wiped you out...

... fer sure...

[Kaleva]

13. Never, ever, wax the toilet seat.

[Kaleva]

14. Anyone ever put Saran Wrap over the bowl but beneath the seat?

[MilesColtrane]

15. Was there a spud involved?

[S n o w b a l l]

17. There comes a time in one's life that you must reevaluate...

your abilities and limitations. After hearing the gory details of it all, I want to be gentle but firm.

It's time you looked into one of these:



Put aside your pride, no one will see you on it anyway and you must consider your safety at this time in your life.

[Kaleva]

18. Won't the contents slosh against one's butt?

[MiddleFingerMom]

20. If I ever ride a horse again...

.
...I want one o' those for my saddle.
.
.
.
Ride straight through from Arizona to Rhode Island with one o' those babies.
.
.
.
.
'Course... I'd be sittin' MUCH taller in the saddle by the end of the trip.
.

[bluesbassman]

21. And for his occasional outing to the package store...

You just can't be too prepared.