I am almost completely burned out, and I'm afraid to tell anyone at school.

[Writer]

I didn't spend as much time on a presentation I had to give Wed., so it was a bit of a dud content-wise. I have a conference at the end of next week (my first, btw), and need to prepare a presentation for that, as well as practice it. The professor for whom I'm TA'ing told me today that he wants me to lecture "a few" classes on a topic that I know very little about, even though I have never taught a class in my life.

Frankly, I'm burned out. But I'm not allowed to tell anyone at school that I'm "burned out," because god forbid I be a normal human being at graduate school!

Yes, I want to finish my PhD... but damn it, I wish I could take a very lengthy break (weeks) off. I have very little mental energy left.

Any wisdom?

[seabeyond]

1. i wish you could take a lengthy break too. no wisdom. sorry even more. nt

[seabeyond]

2. oh oh oh... the wisdom. it will so be worth it once you are thru. and then

you have a whole lot of tomorrows and you will always be proud of what you accomplished, especially seeing how very hard it was.

you did it

[Sanity Claws]

3. Why are you burned out?

Maybe you should ask yourself that.
If it's illness, get treatment.
If your heart is not in your work, perhaps it is time to leave. I don't want to be harsh if you are not passionate about the work you're doing as a Ph.D. student, are you going to be passionate about the work you qualify to do once you have the Ph.D?

I say that as someone who wish she has listened to her body as a student. Instead I pushed through and ended up doing work I hated.

[Writer]

4. I have been doing "my work" since a pre-teen.

To say that I don't have an enjoyment for my area is one thing. To say that I'm a human being in need of a respite is another.

[elleng]

5. Breathe.

Take whatever time you can to do whatever helps you relax, and if you don't know what that is, look into it. Easy exercise, walking, movies, music, whatever.

Good luck.

[Writer]

6. Thanks, elleng. n/t

[Sanity Claws]

7. Exactly

Do you know which category you fit in?

[Writer]

8. Let me reiterate that I have been studying my area since a pre-teen.

So, yes, I'm in the latter category.

[rockymountaindem]

9. Can you take a break?

Your department probably isn't interested in having their students completely burn out. I'm sure they'd help you figure something out so that you can recenter your mind and come back better than before.

[atomic-fly]

10. ok

you are obviously a high achiever, so you just need
to figure out a way to get through this.
plan one day or a couple of half days (or whatever you can spare) to fully
do something that is healing and relaxing mentally and physically.
then eat well, sleep and get back to it.

And try to laugh about it if need be...no one expects you to be
perfect.

[Writer]

11. I'm not allowed to make mistakes. The social pressure is a bit silly in my dept. n/t

[RainDog]

12. get enough sleep

no matter how tempted you may be to think you'll get more done. you won't. and you'll be tired when you present your work.

I went back to grad school with two kids and also worked. It was freaking hard. Not necessarily the work, but just the amount of things that needed to be done at the same time.

edit for hypnotyping... :/

[JCMach1]

13. Try to sleep and relax or your body will give you a vacation, i.e.

you will get sick!

That's what happened to me at the end of semesters in Grad school!

[NNadir]

14. Once while body surfing in some huge waves - I was a fool and was swimming in an unprotected area -

I was caught in a huge undertow and sucked out deep.

The waves were intense and were knocking me around like a piece of dust.

I felt I couldn't possibly make it to the shore and felt I had to give up. I was exhausted.

But, as I was sure I was going to die, I tried to keep my mind clear for the last, and tried and tried, and kept swimming nearly parallel to the shore (to avoid too much fighting the undertow) but a little bit in towards sure. When an opportunity presented itself to float, I took it.

Eventually I found a sand bar on which I could stand a few seconds before waves smashed me.

Somehow I made it in, where I was able to survive and write stupid posts like these.

Find a sandbar, stand a few seconds on your tiptoes, breathe, keep swimming. There is a shore, but you just don't believe it right now.

[Orsino]

15. You are fortunate, at least, to *know* that you are burning out..

I hope that you can summon the energy necessary to see your upcoming lectures as an opportunity. I don't know much about grad work, but I do know that actually teaching is a different sort of labor. Perhaps that can be a sort of break for you? Could it be that you are only burned out on your Ph.D. work?

[Writer]

18. I know this is extremely apolitic to say - but SCREW teaching.

And SCREW the notion that all PhD's are assumed to be headed toward academic careers.

And I personally don't like teaching. But I love the research I do, and what I hope I can do with it after I get finished.

[mike_c]

16. everyone goes through it....

I tell my students that the roughest parts are during the first year and during the last. During the first year you're busy as can be, adjusting to a whole new academic culture, and on top of that you have to stress about getting your dissertation research figured out, approved, whatever. During the last year you have to mentally change gears in a major way, overcoming your own resistance to begin final analysis and writing.

In the middle, it's not so bad. You've got a plan and you just keep doing it. Your mileage may vary, of course, but that seems to be the way it usually works for my students.

[GreenPartyVoter]

17. You have my permission to finish out the year and take another one off. *hugs* (I know

you probably won't, but I just thought that I would throw it out there.)

[AlecBGreen]

19. sorry Writer

I understand how you feel, believe me. Im a teacher and Ive hit that wall before. All I can suggest is you focus on a few things: #1) despite how bad it seems, you have it better than many, many people #2) it will not last forever #3) we grow from adversity. these trials and hard times are what build our character. hang in there :hug: