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Anxiety is a bitch. I was up all night the other night worried about some politics at work and I was thinking, whatever crap I go through in my life, the worst part of it is always what I do to myself. Also I was thinking, the worst thing that can happen is that I can be fired. But that doesn't change what I have to do: act in good faith, stay true to my training, try to be good to others, stay open to learning...do what I know how to do. If that doesn't work, then I have to trust that I meant to be somewhere else.
Your fear is so understandable and real and valid. My dad always says, "Notice it and let it go."
The worst thing that can happen is that it won't work out. There's a certain amount of horror in that in these times, I know, but it doesn't change what you have to do.
I'm kind of rambling, please forgive me. I really sympathize with your post. I'm glad you expressed what your going through. But you know what to do.
I wish you all the best. I'm totally pulling for you.
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