My heart healed, but now it's aching again. I'm really sad tonight.

[Quantess]

My ex boyfriend and I were together over 4 years. We broke up several months ago, and I was handling it fine until I found out he's seeing someone new. So I peeked on his facebook page (we're not FB friends) and his new girlfriend's page, all set to private.

I see she is now a fan of a romantic seaside inn that he took me to, twice. :cry:

The weird thing is, they live about 6 hours apart. She has a kid. He couldn't even handle living with our dog, so how does he expect to get serious dating a mom? And living so far apart? This is all so bizarre to me.

I don't even know what she looks like, her photo was not on her facebook profile. I'm hoping she's less attractive than I am.

[PaddyBlueEyes]

1. Its never easy when someone you love moves on

all you can do I appreciate the time, you had together and wish them the best. Its his loss...

[Quantess]

2. I did a great job of acting like I was happy for him when he told me he was seeing someone.

So at least, he thinks I'm taking it in stride.

[PaddyBlueEyes]

3. I've been there

eventually it gets easier.

[Quantess]

4. Thanks.

I knew we would both be seeing new people eventually. I didn't think it would be this upsetting.

Thank goodness they have their facebook profiles set to private, so I don't have to read all the gory details.

[kimi]

5. I'm sorry, it's always hard

sometimes there's no making sense of it. They say it makes us stronger in the end but it just hurts so dang much in the meantime.

[alphafemale]

6. It's time to move on.

Stop visiting his page. That is borderline stalking.

Get to the point that you can be happy that he is happy. If you can't do that you need to look at your issues not his.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

7. My dear Quantess...

Ah, sweetie...

You are experiencing the loss...it's never easy. You will find (if you haven't already) that some days you'll be fine, and some days it just all sucks.

Your heart will go forward and back, forward and back...

I know it's hard, but if possible, stay away from facebook...

Be good to yourself...

:hug:

[Quantess]

8. Thanks.

Facebook is a massive time-waster anyway.
Today I went running like I usually do, but twice as far as usual, and it made me feel better...until I went to look at their facebook pages.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

9. Well, there you go...

Running, or any physical exercise, is very good for losing the blues...

Keep on keeping on! It's an excellent way to take care of yourself...

I've been there, sweetie...

:hug:

[Skittles]

10. let this guy go, Quantess

stop looking at that FB page and move on

[Liberty Belle]

11. He's not worth it. .All men are pond scum.

Slimey loathesome dirtbags.

[PaddyBlueEyes]

12. HEY!!!

I might be slimy and loathsome, but certainly not a dirtbag.. :P

[Liberty Belle]

13. so maybe there are still a few princes around on DU....

thought I found one once...but he turned out to be the devil in disguise.

[PaddyBlueEyes]

14. Not a prince

just an ok guy..and yeah, that happens too...

[Liberty Belle]

15. What flag is that, Irish?

[PaddyBlueEyes]

16. aye

'tis.

[Liberty Belle]

18. I've a wee bit of Irish in me, ever been to the auld sod though.

[PaddyBlueEyes]

19. Im a pure bred..LOL

and have been to the auld sod..You should go!

[Liberty Belle]

20. Maybe someday...

I guess that's another ending I could write. She runs away, stages a disappearance, at least for a little while until his illness has him safely below the sod.....hmmm....maybe I really will write another book!

Anyhow thanks for listening at least...sometimes the Internet is a lifeline.

I'll be around, at least for a little while.

[PaddyBlueEyes]

21. more than a little while

you need to talk...you know how to find me.

[Liberty Belle]

22. Thanks, Paddy.

Sometimes it just helps to have someone listen, even if there's not much anyone can do. I appreciate you caring....it's good to know there are still decent people in this world, even if they're half a globe away.

Pick a four leaf clover for me, ok?

I sure could use some luck o' the Irish!

[vadawg]

17. luckily for us men, women are worse :)

[Liberty Belle]

23. A guy who doesn't like kids or dogs doesn't sound like a catch to me.

My advice? Pamper yourself a bit -- get a facial, buy a new outfit, look good and feel better. Find some new friends, get involved in something purely for fun or do some good works for your community. You'll feel more positive, and just maybe you'll meet some good and decent man.

Though I'll still not sure such a species actually exists....

[DFW]

24. That happened to me when I was 20.

I was thorougly devastated, and made myself a vow that the next time I gave my heart with full abandon,
it would be forever.

I met the girl I was pretty sure was "the one" two years later, but she lived on a different continent and
spoke a different language.

I now live on her continent, we speak in her language, and this July 25th, we'll be celebrating 36 years since we met.

My ex ended up marrying a super-rich banker who ended up with a pile of money,
apparently not all of it derived from unimpeachable sources. I think he is/they
are retired now somewhere in the British Isles, no doubt with houses strung all
over the world.

Fine with me. To each, his or her own. Some riches can't be measured with a calculator. Such are mine.

No matter how devastated you may be, you can find your way back. No matter how great your ex may seem to be doing,
he or she is not always necessarily worthy of envy or jealousy.

[tango-tee]

25. Let him go, Quantess. Time to move on.

There is nothing to be gained in looking at his or his new GF's facebook pages. All you get out of this is pouring acid in the wound.

Really, from someone who has been there before more than once: Let go of it.

I know it hurts right this moment, but do it. :hug:

[MissMillie]

26. She's probably just a transitional woman

Quantess, let him go. It sounds like there were probably really good reasons why it didn't work out for you two (and why it probably won't work for them either).

But don't let the image of him and her occupy your mind. Seriously, you have much better things to spend your energy on.

[Shell Beau]

27. Don't do that to yourself.

As much as you want to look, you aren't going to like what you see, and it will only hurt your feelings.

[Brickbat]

28. Write him a letter.

Call him every name in the book. Get his girlfriend into it. Shame them. Mock them. Tell them how much they suck, what awful people they are.

Print the letter off.

Put it in an envelope.

Then -- AND THIS IS KEY -- burn it.

Take a deep breath. Stop checking his FB page. Know you're done.

[applegrove]

29. When you suffer a great loss it is good to get a book on grief so you

know all the stages and can recognize yourself in them. Including the final stage when you hit acceptance and the pain goes away. For now I'd steer clear of finding out more about him if it is torturing you. You don't need more pain.