Could you be a good cult leader?

[mitchum]

Do you possess the necessary skill set?

I find the Process Church of the Final Judgment to have been a wackily entertaining cult, but it appears that they really did require two leaders. Robert DeGrimston had the charisma and gift for language, while Mary Anne DeGrimston brought the requisite psychological insight and ruthlessness.

Any thoughts on your abilities to lead a cult? What type of cult would it be?

thanks,
mitchum

[Fire Walk With Me]

1. I am using my powers for good, not evil.

But if I did go south, it is likely that my cult would have something to do with cabbage or heads of lettuce.

[mitchum]

12. You're not gonna be putting heads of cabbage ot lettuce on sticks, are ya?

[Fire Walk With Me]

16. Nah.

Had a cult planned years ago, bit I'm forgetting.

[XemaSab]

2. I think I would be an awesome cult leader

We'd hang out in Guyana and drink rum and I'm let other people do all the labor.

Doesn't that sound like an awesome cult?

Don't you think you should join us?

[mitchum]

10. I do like Foster Grant sunglasses,but no thanks

[BlueIris]

3. Too good. I was born the day after Jim Jones.

Which frightens me sometimes. It's why I avoid all possible avenues through which I would be tempted to aquire "cult leader" status.

[mitchum]

17. Have you ever had the desire to sell monkeys door-to-door?

[jobycom]

4. Nah, I'd be the guy with the striker and the metal in the background.

[mitchum]

11. Ah...the Soft White Underbellians

[Sky Masterson]

5. It would be a cult that worships breasts.

I figure that recruiting would be a breeze and it's already something I love.:woohoo: :D :evilgrin:
So I guess I'm looking for members to join My Titology church.
We are so inclusive that we do everything in pairs. :evilgrin:

[Dr. Strange]

7. Count me right the fuck in.

I'll bring my twin.

[Sky Masterson]

9. I knew that I could count on you brother Strange.

Never have I seen such dedication! You shall be my disciple.
I look forward to reading "The book of Strange". :applause:

[mitchum]

13. I could get behind...uh...I mean...in front of that

[Sky Masterson]

19. Titology needs it's spooners!

:) Grab on with both hands and worship away! ;)

[RagAss]

26. May I apply as your lead Apostle ?

[Sky Masterson]

27. I feel a great love of service and duty in you.

That is a rare thing when it comes to the worshiping of breast.:dunce: :sarcasm:
Follow me, my child. :P

[arcadian]

6. Oh fuck yeah.

Working on it.

[mitchum]

14. Wouldn't it be cool?

[texanwitch]

8. Yes.

I would be a good and fair cult leader.

More followers that way.

[mitchum]

15. That isvery good advice

[texanwitch]

21. If you are mean and nasty someone will come after you.

I would have to be a leader, I am not much a follower.

[Initech]

18. I'm not charismatic enough tto be a cult leader.

[mitchum]

20. You could work the humility angle. Be creative!

[Initech]

23. Better yet - what if I work the Flying Spaghetti Monster angle?

That is - come up with an entirely new deity to worship then claim to have been in it's actual presence?

[CreekDog]

22. Yes because people listen to me

and I'm often stunned that they don't know better. :wtf:

[mitchum]

24. That is a frightening realization, isn't it?

[CreekDog]

25. yes

sometimes they will recount my advice and everything.

:x

[hobbit709]

28. i couldn't keep a straight face while suckering the rubes.

[The2ndWheel]

29. Divided we stand, united we fall

So, no.

[Bossy Monkey]

30. Apparently not; no one's joined yet n/t

[Ikonoklast]

31. Oh, hell yeah.

I would be an awesome cult leader, I swear to dog their are people out there that would believe damn near anything if you promise them paradise.

But, eventually I would tire of destroying people's lives.

[nuxvomica]

32. Nay

I would tell the followers who are estranged from their families to try and work it out and spend more time with them. My cult wouldn't last very long.

[derby378]

33. The Process? I have a photocopy of their DEATH issue!

Complete with an "interview" with Charles Manson on what he called the "pseudoprofundity of death," IIRC.

[kayakjohnny]

34. Reminds me of this blip from Heaven's Gate on Saturday Night Live...

Announcer: This is ABC News, "Nightline". Reporting from Washington, Ted Koppel.

Ted Koppel: Good evening, and welcome to a very special edition of "Nightline", where we're following a truly extraordinary breaking story. We're all familiar by now with the story of Marshall Applewhite and the Heaven's Gate cult - 39 lost souls following a deranged pied piper to an untimely end. Or so it seemed, until two days ago when ABC News began receiving strange microwave transmissions from deep space. With the help of NASA scientists, at 11:00 this evening, we were able to decipher these signals, and so nowe, live via satellite from the alien spacecraft, is alien cult leader Marshall Applewhite.

< monitor image fades in and out until we see Marshall Applewhite and members of his cult cheering while surrounded by aliens inside a spaceship >

Marshall Applewhite: We made it!! We made it!!

Ted Koppel: Marshall Applewhite, I take my hat off to you, you were right about everything - the comet, the spaceship, everything. Congratulations on a job well done.

Marshall Applewhite: Well, Ted, I really appreciate that. But I gotta tell you, when I set down that glass of Phenabarbatol, I had a moment of "Marshall! Not good!" But I knew then it was Go-Time, so I said, "What the hell?" and rolled the dice, and guess what? We came out on top, and it feels pretty darn good, right gang?

Cult Member #1: I just want to give a shout out to all my homies back at the "Deep Space Nine" fan club!

Ted Koppel: How have you been getting along with your alien hosts aboard the spacecraft?

Marshall Applewhite: They have just been wonderful! Their hospitality, fantastic! Of course, their food leaves a little something to be desired! < laughs > When Zantar's wife makes her space casserole, I wish I could kill myself again! < Zantar zaps him with a prod > I'm just kidding, Zantar! Actually, his wife has been incredible!

Ted Koppel: Uh-huh.. alright. So, this whole killing yourself thing has really turned out to be a home run for you. Tell me, are there any regrets?

Marshall Applewhite: Yeahhh.. the castration thing.. I was way off on that one, Ted! It turns out it had nothing to do with anything. In fact, when we got here, everyone just looked at me like, "Applewhite, you nutball!"

Cult Member #2: Yeah, but he's our nutball!

Cult Member #1: "Deep Space Nine"!

Ted Koppel: Marshall Applewhite, what are your plans for the future?

Marshall Applewhite: We're not gonna mess with a good thing, Ted. We're just gonna keep on folloing this comet around and partying.

Zantar: < starts chanting >

Marshall Applewhite: Oh, by the way, Ted, Zantar wanted to say something to yourviewers.. if that's alright?

Zantar: < starts reading something unintelligible >

Marshall Applewhite: < laughs > It's upside-down! < flips Zantor's card over for him >

Zantar: < starts over > "Live, from New York, it's Saturday Night!"

[SoxFan]

35. I totally rock a midnight blue robe

I need a Chuggo skull stick made out of a narwhal tusk and a clown head on top as my sceptre...

[AnArmyVeteran]

36. The conservative extremist movement is a CULT

From all the definitions to be classified as a cult or cult member it is obvious conservative extremists are definitely a cult. They follow their cult leaders without thought, without question and without fact checks. Cult leaders like Limbaugh, Hannity, Beck, OReilly and the rest of right wing radio hosts and Fox News talking heads all have cult-like followers who believe every word they are told. Each of these right wing radio cult leaders have gifts of gab, they are very talented at exploiting their followers and can easily lead them in any direction they want because their listeners (cult followers) are not capable of critical thought. If they fact checked what they heard their 'beliefs' would be destroyed so they choose ignorance over reality and truth. They hang on to every word they are told and they never question their cult leaders.

[jmm]

37. My freshman year in high school a teacher told me...

I wrote one of the best papers she'd ever read but that if I continued writing like that I might get her fired. We were asked to write about if we thought there ever could be a dictatorship in the US. I said yes and wrote out a plan to start a cult that would gain political power and eventually take over.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

38. i might actually be a good cult leader