Don't you push me baby, cause I'm all alone

[WilliamPitt]

Don't you push me baby, cause I'm all alone
Well I know a little something you won't ever know
Don't you touch hard liquor, just a cup of cold coffee
I'm gonna get up in the morning and go

Everybody prayin' and drinkin' that wine
I can tell the Queen of Diamonds by the way she shines
Come to daddy on the inside straight,
Well I got no chance of losin' this time

Last fair deal in the country,
Last fair deal in the town
Put your gold money where your love is baby,
Before you let my deal go down...

- Grateful Dead, 'Loser'

I wonder what it's like for people who have change come into their lives slowly, the way leaves change in October. I've really lost track of knowing what that's like.

On Tuesday I walked out of the house I grew up in for the last time. It's been a part of my life, a home base, a touchstone, for twenty five years. Tomorrow the papers will be signed, and it'll belong to someone else. That's cool, though. My mom has been trying to see the place for almost a year now, and I'm really glad this particular load is off her mind. Still, it's a change. Whoosh, pen to paper, and it's gone.

Tonight, I ended a relationship, one that has been bleeding to death for eleven months less one day, with a woman I was supposed to have married last May. That blew up last April, and we have been working - talking, couples therapy, moving back in together, moving back out, talking more - to fix it ever since. Some things can't be fixed, though, and tonight I closed the door. We are still friends, but for the first time in more than eight years (minus the months after the wedding got torpedoed) I am alone.

I'm going to walk down to the local pub and have a drink. And by 'a drink,' of course, I mean one very large drink subdivided into several pint-sized drinks. I'm going to go to sleep, and I'm going to wake up tomorrow to see what kind of crazy cards I've been dealt.

[Paragon]

1. Wow - either Jerry Garcia was wordy...

...or you left out an italics tag. ;-)

I'm drinking, too! :toast:

[WilliamPitt]

2. And I haven't even been to the pub yet

:)

[Paragon]

3. Hey, I'm half in the bag...

and I'd never screw up a tag... :silly:

[Zorra]

17. Robert Hunter wrote the lyrics. Great lyrics writer.

[WilliamPitt]

23. Indeed.

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

4. They recently cut down a tree I planted as a child...

because the roots were threatening the foundation of the house I grew up in.

What a drag it is...

[jus_the_facts]

5. You'll prolly still dream about it the rest of your life.....

...I still have dreams of my favorite ol' house I lived in....have one on me...for ol' times sake!! :beer: :toast:

[Madrone]

6. Being "together" is sometimes way overrated.

Take it from someone who knows! Sounds like "alone" might be a good thing for you, for awhile. Good luck to you, Will.

[Exultant Democracy]

7. Only one thing to do, keep on keeping on.

Good luck, change is a scary and lonely but it is also important.

[Exultant Democracy]

16. One more thing,

Now I love drinking, but not when I am sad. It makes you feel better for a bit, but whenever you wake up in the morning with a hangover the world looks even more bleak then it should.

[ScreamingMeemie]

8. Walk safe. Tomorrow is going to dawn and you'll still be in it. And

then you'll go on from there.

Best wishes. :hi:

[SarahB]

9. Sorry, Dude.

I spent the early evening at the marriage counselor's office, went to class, then came home to talk further about marital problems. Oh yes, nothing more fun. :eyes: I know they say time heals on wounds, but sometimes certain long term relationships can feel about as good as beating your head against a brick wall. :hug: I hope time can help you.

[Rick Myers]

10. I had a really bad one today...

I feel your pain. Relationship of 5 years on it's last breath. A three month negotiation about a talk radio show tanked today, the day AFTER we get APPROVAL to do the show. In fact, you were one of the guests I pitched just yesterday. Long story, I'm not doing the deal because of a lack of contractual obligation on the part of the production company.

My dad's Alzhemier's gets more severe every day, and the engine of my 15 year old car has BLOWN.

I've actually pondered 'offing' myself on my birthday, which is, IRONICALLY, April 1st. I figured it's one less date people will have to remember. But I'm not quite THAT BAD!

Sorry to digress.


Have one for me, Will!!!
:toast:

[WilliamPitt]

13. The day you get your show squared away

is the day I'd be privileged to be a guest. PM me and I will shoot you my contact information.

[Rick Myers]

22. Love ya, my friend!!!

:toast:

[scucci]

11. Go to the pub, drink yourself into oblivion, then come back

to reality and if you need to do it again tomorrow, do it for the next week. In that time, you'll at least work some of it out of your system and you'll have such a headache that you won't care any more about her.
Of course, that ain't gonna happen. Just know there are plenty of women out there who are probably better suited for you. You just gotta buck up and find a good Irish girl.
~Hang in there!

[cally]

12. I don't know what happened tonight

to make it the night to say goodbye. From what you posted, I think you've known the relationship was at an end for awhile. So, I'll just offer a :hug:

About the house, my husband, brother-in-laws, and long time friends went into mourning when my in-laws sold the 'house'. It was a gathering point for them all. A few years later, the friendships last, the relationships are secure, and they still talk about the good times they had there. I haven't driven by the house for a few years and my husband hasn't taken my kids there in many years. I hear more about the events and relationships rather than the location now.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

14. Hang in there

Love ya.

[WilliamPitt]

15. Back from the pub

Sat down at the bar, Sheila was the bartender. She set me up with a Harpoon IPA and a shot of tequila. I told her my sad story - it's a neighborhood pub, and it's Wednesday, so I pretty much had the joint to myself - and she gave me the Bartender's Wisdom: "Give it a month, you'll feel better."

She's right. I'm gonna go pick a fight in GD2004 and then go to bed. :)

[hippiechick]

35. Dude, sometime when ya wanna feel REAL fortunate ...

I'll tell ya Hippie's life story.

Chin up. It gets better.


:hippie:

[slinkerwink]

18. I'm still not over my mom selling her house and moving to NYC

where I don't even have my own room to sleep in. Home is no longer home to me. I'm one of those transients, forever roaming, and I really want to put down roots---to have a home of my own.

My older brother also broke up with his fiancee of two years, but the good news is that at least he's free and moved on after realizing the relationship was unworkable.

Don't find solace in drink, Will. It's a poor solution.

[Generic Other]

19. Go to sleep you weary hobo...

Hobo's Lullaby

Go to sleep you weary hobo
Let the towns drift slowly by
Can't you hear the steel rail humming
That's a hobo's lullaby

Do not think about tomorrow
Let tomorrow come and go
Tonight you're in a nice warm boxcar
Safe from all the wind and snow

I know the police cause you trouble
They cause trouble everywhere
But when you die and go to heaven
You won't find no policemen there

I know your clothes are torn and ragged
And your hair is turning grey
Lift your head and smile at trouble
You'll find happiness some day

So go to sleep you weary hobo
Let the towns drift slowly by
Don't you feel the steel rail humming
That's a hobo's lullaby

[indigo32]

20. Change is inevitable

Hard as it seems, it brings both good and bad. Sorry to hear about your relationship.

[Zorra]

21. Ripple

Lyrics by Robert Hunter

If my words did glow with the gold of sunshine
And my tunes were played on the harp unstrung,
Would you hear my voice come thru the music,
Would you hold it near as it were your own?

It’s a hand-me-down, the thoughts are broken,
Perhaps they’re better left unsung.
I don’t know, don’t really care
Let there be songs to fill the air.

Ripple in still water,
When there is no pebble tossed,
Nor wind to blow.

Reach out your hand if your cup be empty,
If your cup is full may it be again,
Let it be known there is a fountain,
That was not made by the hands of men.

There is a road, no simple highway,
Between the dawn and the dark of night,
And if you go no one may follow,
That path is for your steps alone.

Ripple in still water,
When there is no pebble tossed,
Nor wind to blow.

If you should choose
To lead must follow
But if you fall you fall alone,
If you should stand then who’s to guide you?
If I knew the way I would take you home.

(Divorced 3 1/2 - no, it's almost 4 years ago now, after 13 years. The time alone has been very, very good for me. I am sorry about what you are going through and hope you start feeling better soon.)

[WilliamPitt]

24. Thank you

If you should choose
To lead must follow
But if you fall you fall alone,
If you should stand then who’s to guide you?
If I knew the way I would take you home.

I needed that.

[Zorra]

25. De nada.

[ET Awful]

26. Ah. . . Ripple. . .

Best song ever. Or at least always has been in my top 3 :) (especially acoustic versions from the late 70's early 80's) :).

I'm also a huge fan of Box of Rain. . .

Walk out of any doorway, feel your way,
Feel your way like the day before.
Maybe you'll find direction,
Around some corner where it's been waiting to meet you.

Or we could switch over to some Garcia-Grisman (covering the great B.B. King):

The thrill is gone
The thrill is gone away
The thrill is gone
The thrill is gone away
You know you done me wrong
And you'll be sorry someday

The thrill is gone
It's gone away from me
The thrill is gone
The thrill is gone away from me
Although I'll still live on
But so lonely I'll be

The thrill is gone
It's gone away for good
Oh, the thrill is gone
The thrill is gone away for good
Someday I know I'll be over it all
Just like a good man should

You know I'm free baby
I'm free from your spell
I'm free, free baby
I'm free from your spell
And now that it's all over
All I can do is wish you well

[buddhamama]

27. Ripple has already been posted

so i'll express myself with

Unbroken Chain

Blue light rain, whoa unbroken chain,
Looking for familiar faces in an empty window pane.

Listening for the secret, searching for the sound
But I could only hear the preacher and the baying of his hounds.

Willow sky, whoa, I walk and wonder why,
They say love your brother, but you will catch it when you try.

Roll you down the line boy, drop you for a loss,
Ride you out on a cold railroad and nail you to a cross.

November and more, as I wait for the score,
They're telling me forgiveness is the key to every door.
A slow winder day a night like forever,
Sink like a stone, float like a feather.

Lilac rain, unbroken chain, Song of the sawhet owl.
Out on the mountain, it'll drive you insane, Listening to the winds howl

Unbroken chain of sorrow and pearls, Unbroken chain of shy and sea.
Unbroken chain of the western wind, Unbroken chain of you and me.

You're not alone, Mr. Pitt
connections made will remain,
they're a part of you now

peace!

[VelmaD]

28. Oh honey...

I wish I knew what to say to you. I hope you're feeling better this morning. If you need anything you know where to find me. :hug:

[WilliamPitt]

29. The morning is good

All is well. BIODTL.

[VelmaD]

30. Ok, you stumped me with that one...

I'm lost on the acronym. BIODTL?

on edit: *smacks self on forehead after getting the Dead reference*

I'm glad the morning is good. :hug:

[WilliamPitt]

31. Beat It On Down The Line

:)

[VelmaD]

32. It is truly sad...

that I don't have any Grateful Dead on the puter at work. We could bounce. :)

Well this job I've got is just a little too hard,
Running out of money, Lord, I need more pay.
Gonna wake up in the morning Lord, gonna pack my bags,
I'm gonna beat it on down the line.

[northzax]

33. sheesh, Pitt

either you serial date a lot, or we've been hearing about this breakup since hector was a pup. bad luck though...

He who binds to himself a joy
does the winged life destroy;
But he who kisses the joy as it flies
lives in eternity's sunrise.

William Blake -"eternity"

[kentuck]

34. Hey Will !

You're lucky! You have a lot of friends. :)