Man I Feel Like An Asshole Right Now

[THUNDER HANDS]

I just got back from the store. I had gone out to Best Buy to do some cd and dvd shopping and on my way there I was stopped at a red light.

A drop-dead gorgeous woman pulls up in the car next to me.

The light turned green and we both went and she pulled out ahead of me. I look at the back of her car and what to my wandering eyes do appear?

Why none other than *TWO* Howard Dean for America bumper stickers!

Now, this is the first time I had seen someone with those bumper stickers on Long Island, let alone on the car of a beautiful woman.

So being the desperate loser that I am, I sped up alongside of her and tried to get her attention (to alert her to the fact that I liked her bumper stickers).

Well, to make a long story a little longer, I ended up not noticing that I was coming up on the street I had to turn left on. She was in the middle lane and I was in the right lane.

So what does Swifty McSwift do?

I jet out in front of her and cut her off, of course. Then I noticed she got behind me and she's flipping me off.

I'm trying to motion back to her that I'm sorry and that I really like her bumper sticker (don't ask me how you hand-motion you like someone's bumper sticker). She's totally pissed off at me and the light changes green and I make the left turn.

I get in the right lane and she gets in the left lane and zooms past me...then cuts ME off.

The funniest thing about the whole story?

I had just put on a Kerry 2004 bumper sticker. So somewhere on Long Island there's a Howard Dean supporter telling all her friends that a John Kerry supporter tried to kill her.

:evilgrin:

I'm such an ass.

[ronnykmarshall]

1. SEE?!! See how you are??!!!

You Kerry supporters are not only bad drivers but sexist pigs as well!

DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU STRAIGHT TO HELL!!!!! :evilgrin:

[OzzieNelson]

4. Huh?

Why does "sexist pig" come up? Sounds pretty normal to me.

[sendero]

2. the only people ....

... who aren't an ass *sometimes* are people who are doing - thinking - feeling nothing.

And trust me, it isn't the first time a Dean supporter thought what she did about a Kerry supporter :) :) :)

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

3. Maybe she thought you were stalking her.

[BlueJazz]

5. Alright..Dammit!!

I've had enough of this shit

NO SOUP FOR YOU!!

[goobergunch]

6. LOL! (n/t)

[Sequoia]

7. Slow down pal

a few years ago a friend sent me a very funny slide show entitled "Why Men Die Younger than Women" and one photos was of a man sticking his head out of a train to look at a beautiful woman walking by. Well, just beyond his head was a wall which of course would take his head right off in a few seconds. So don't let those beautiful women cause you to have an accident. If I ever find it again I'll be sure to post it.

[THUNDER HANDS]

12. woah

That, I would never do.

Unless she was a Dean supporter, of course.

:evilgrin:

Gotta cross-polinate the Dem candidates.

[eileen from OH]

8. Bastard Kerry !

. . .out there looking all Frenchified, doesn't know what kind of cheese to use on a sammich, and now - sending his evil minions out to cut off Dean supporters in traffic???

Now I know what Joe Leiberpuss meant when he said "some" Dems don't deserve to be President.

eileeeeen from OH

[w13rd0]

9. Beautiful women support Dean...

...I guess that helps explain how it is that his support is high among men too ;)

[roughsatori]

10. That is hilarious

I am LOL.

[DianeK]

11. amusing..

and i don't find it sexist at all...i am a dean supporter and if she is like the rest of us..i don't blame her for being pissed that you cut her off...but she had a pay back...let's all keep it in perspective folks..if kerry gets the nod, he is my guy...and i am sure that woman feels the same way..the eye on the prize is to support the nominee..a wishy washy vote will only produce what happened in 2000....we know how the bushies work

[GOPisEvil]

13. Dammit boy...calm down...you're going to hurt yourself!

By the way, if you run into her (well, not literally) you had better apologize profusely.

LOL!

[Xithras]

14. Could be worse

I once tried to flirt with a woman by keeping pace with her as we drove down the road (hey, I was only 16). After several minutes of trying, she finally looked over and smiled at me...just as I hit a parked car :dunce:

I learned an important lesson that day...never flirt while driving!

[THUNDER HANDS]

15. I did something like that once

Only it was from Elmira New York all the way to Manhattan. I speed-raced four cute girls all the way back to the city.

It was lots of fun and they even flashed me.

THAT was cool.

:)

[jonnyblitz]

16. LOL. you always have funny stories to tell.

The dead squirrel one was good too...

[ForrestGump]

17. This happens to me all the time

I mean, the other way 'round, with women distracted by me.... :-)

[Pert_UK]

18. Was that Shania's second choice to "Man, I feel like a woman?"

Da da da daaa da da!

Seriously - watch that shit, man, you'll get arrested!

P.