I thought I was terminally ill Tuesday morning and I was planning on suing Arby's

[Tobin S.]

I forgot to make lunch for work Monday night. So, I stopped in this truck stop along my route that has a 24 hour Arby's in it and picked up a turkey bacon club sandwich for lunch. Those are pretty good sandwiches and I've had one before from there. A couple of hours later I ate the sandwich and shortly afterward began to feel ill. It felt like that sandwich turned into a 3 pound chunk of lead and took up residence in my stomach.

I started getting weak and tired very quickly. I was also extremely bloated. Then I started to get nauseous. It took all I had to finish my route and get back to the yard. I debated whether to go to my family doctor first or go straight to the hospital, that's how bad I was feeling. But I decided to go to the doctor first. Luckily, they weren't that busy and got me in without an appointment.

By the time I got there I had a bad headache, my lower back hurt, I was very weak and lethargic, and my temperature turned out to be 100.6. Even though I told them about the sandwich, they said I just had the flu. The doctor told me to take Tylenol once every four hours, prescribed me an anti-nausea medication, and told me to take off work for 2 days and rest.

I went home and slept from late Tuesday morning until early Thursday morning, only getting up to go to the bathroom and take some medication. I didn't eat a thing in that period of time. But I was feeling better by Thursday morning- not 100%, but better. That's about the time the lead in my stomach finally continued its journey, and when that happened I swelled up like a balloon and my belly started rumbling non-stop. That was the worst case of gas I've ever had. In fact, it's the worst case of gas anyone has had, because if you pick up the latest Book of World Records you will see my picture in there next to the heading "Worst Case of Gas" and accompanying pictures documenting the evacuation of the apartment complex I live in.

I went up to the drug store and got some Extra Strength Gas X and took a double dose. It took an hour to start working, but they eventually let everyone come back home. That sandwich did not leave my body until 7:30 this morning. That's right, 3 days.

That's the worst any kind of bug has made me sick since I became an adult. I'm back to normal now, but do you think I still have a case against Arby's?

[TK421]

1. I don't know, but Wendys made me pretty sick

[LynneSin]

2. And to think HCR does not include any contingencies for Arby's food

the shame!

[LeftyFingerPop]

3. I go to ARBY's to get gas...I LOVE excessive gas...

It's like a hobby for me.

Glad you are feeling better!

[Tobin S.]

4. Pilot truck stop exit 79 off of I-70 in Ohio

Best Arby's for excessive gas.

[kimmerspixelated]

23. Let me guess...you're a guy!

Only men can make a true sport out of farting! But it's better than some habits!

[HopeHoops]

5. Dead animal with flavored corn-syrup should have a "WARNING: HEALTH HAZARD" label.

Something in red and larger than the name of the death-burger company.

[Bicoastal]

6. Do your body a huge favor....

...don't eat at Arby's. EVER.

[Tobin S.]

7. I'm sure as hell not going to do that again

My mama didn't kick me off the wagon yesterday.

[Arugula Latte]

8. Or McDonald's. Or Burger King. Or Carl's Jr. etc. etc. etc.

Those types of places serve many varieties of poison, but it's all poison.

[Ptah]

9. I love your story telling abilities.

Thanks again for another fun read.

:applause:

[Tobin S.]

10. You're welcome. Thank YOU for reading.

:thumbsup:

[MilesColtrane]

11. Don't eat anything from Arby's, Taco Bell, or Jack in the Box.

That would be just asking for it.

[jobycom]

19. Dude, he's a trucker.

Where else is he going to eat?

[kimi]

12. Good to know that you're feeling better

And yes, a good story although I'm sorry you were sick. But it did feel like I was right there, wearing a gas mask. :)

[elleng]

13. Don't know, but thanks for the warning, Tobin S.

[greencharlie]

14. ewwwww....

arby's is the worst.

[greencharlie]

15. ewwwww....

arby's is the worst.

[Catshrink]

16. Bad mayo.

I've been so sick on several occassion from bad mayo at a deli. I love Arby's chicken salad market sandwich but haven't had one for a while because of the gross amount of fat in them. I'm not even sure they still have them. But I wondered whenever I got them if they'd kept the chicken salad chilled. I avoid mayo when eating out because of this.

[LNM]

17. Great writing as usual, Tobin

I'm not a doctor but I don't think it was the food. I had food poisoning once and it hit about 12 hours after I ate the bad shrimp. I don't think food poisoning happens as quickly as it hit you.

[Bertha Venation]

18. you poor sweetheart

:hug:

[jobycom]

20. Glad you're alive and kicking and writing so damn well.

:hi:

[necso]

21. Some time ago, I got {ugly imagery advisory}

lying-in-my-own-poop-for-days sick, from donuts of all things.

After about two days or so, when I finally passed the (oh well) I'm-going-to-die phase, I stumbled out to the dump (and laundry). When I got back I noticed that my feet had swollen up -- and that I had this weird rash all over my legs that resembled nothing so much as toxic-shock.

So I empathise: it's miserable to have your life screwed up like that.

I try to be careful, and I avoid any sort of dressing on the rare occasion that I buy a chicken sandwich ($1 specials) or the like (I gave-up on fast-food burgers ($1 specials) because they always seemed to make my belly rumble... what's in that crap); but food can be contaminated in many ways in processing.

[necso]

28. On an entirely unrelated note:

You mean, like beating the drum for an illegal, unnecessary and costly (and catastrophic) war...

"Sins" are (generally) to be forgiven and "forgotten" among friends.

[kimmerspixelated]

22. You have won the best award for comic writing!

OMFG, I know it's terrible to laugh at someone's misfortune, but I have never laughed so hard at anything on the DU and I owe it to your highly descriptive saga spilling abilities. I hope you use your talent for writing as often as possible. Start a blog at least, and they will come!

[Fire Walk With Me]

24. Obviously, not enough horsey sauce.

[lunatica]

25. LOL!

Very funny!

[hippywife]

26. When you've been eating as healthy as you

have been for as long as you've been, something like that on the stomach can really do the belly bomber routine. Might not have been the sandwich per se, just how your body reacted to somethings it hadn't had in a long time and no longer handled well. And you could have had the flu. The season isn't quite over yet. It's a good thing you went to the doc, Tobs.

:hi:

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

27. The thing about food poisoning is that you'd have to get better in order to die.

Last time I had it I spent a dreadful 24 hours lying on the bathroom floor, curled up moaning on the bath mat, occasionally pulling myself up with every last ounce of strength to call Ralph on the big white phone. Or do that other thing.

Sometimes I was afraid I would die. Other times I was afraid I wouldn't.

Food poisoning is nasty business.

I'm glad your gas problem finally went away, but I fear you may have contributed significantly to global climate change.

[jmowreader]

29. I'd say you have a case against Pilot

That specific one is a walking nightmare.