|
I received this from an animal rescue list ... hilarious.
YOU KNOW YOU HAVE A BIG DOG WHEN...
* The sound of running water makes you jump up and yell, "OUTSIDE!"
* You tell your dog to sit, and he backs up until he finds a chair.
* It takes 3 people to get your dog on the scale at the vets.
* You walk your dog and everyone knows him by name, but you have no
idea who these people are.
* You can carry on a conversation with a dog's muzzle firmly in your
crotch.
* You own a dog capable of pulling someone from a port-a-potty.
* You carry a tape measure with you when shopping for a new vehicle.
* You keep at least one color-coded "drool towel" in every room of
your house.
* After banishing your husband, the snoring in your bedroom still
keeps you awake.
* You are hiking with a friend who later suggests that you ought to
have an environmental impact statement done on your dog.
* Visitors enter the house holding their privates protectively.
* You toss your dog a ball and cringe when he almost hits his head on
the top of the doorway.
* You take your dog for a ride and he rests his head on your arm,
causing you to make random right turns.
* You have given up on water dishes and you just use the bathtub.
* Your two dogs decide to play in the house, and they end up pulling
the ceiling fan down, for the second time.
* You have to move over when brushing your teeth because your dog
wants a drink.
* You show a picture of your dogs and kids together, and the first
person you point out is your dog.
* While stopped at a stop light, everyone stares as your car rocks
back and forth because the dog is panting out the window.
* You go to vacuum your car and most of the fur is up there on the
ceiling.
* You've learned to force a smile when asked "do you have a saddle
for that thing?"
* The monthly dog budget exceeds your home mortgage payment.
* Your veterinarian has been able to put in a swimming pool, build a
large home, buy jet skis and a vacation home in Florida.
* You have had to train your dog not to lick dishes, and the dishes
are in the sink.
* The donuts you put on top of the refrigerator are gone when you get
home and your dog has powdered sugar on his nose.
* Your dog can see what you're cooking and he tries to assist you in
the preparation.
* You're holding him straddled between your legs when the doorbell
rings and you find yourself quickly transported straight to the front
door.
* The pizza delivery people tell you to meet them at the end of the
sidewalk.
* Your dog stands in your lap and reaches over you to stick his head
in the drive-through window at McDonalds and nearly gives the cashier
a heart attack when she turns around to give you your change.
* You purchase a large screen TV and you still can't see the program
when he stands in front of the television.
* After surgery, your bored pup decides to get up and cruise around
the vet's office, pulling the rolling IV stand behind him.
* You have to get a horse watering bucket for outside
* You tell the oil changing people, don't worry about the back seat
it is a hopeless cause.
* The vet has to special order your dog food to keep enough in stock
* The neighborhood kids only like the dog after it has laid belled
up so they know it is not mean.
* You have to walk it with two leads and collars - one for
correcting, one for holding on to them.
* You give up on trying to keep the dust in the house under control
|
Printer-friendly format
Email this thread to a friend
Bookmark this thread
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
