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I've been away for a while--not that folks here know me enough to miss me, that's understandable--but I've been in a deep depression.
I went through a very painful breakup with a guy I had been with for over a year and we went through some real heavy stuff together. That kind of stuff can make for some strong feelings but we decided to split and at first I was OK with that but then I really started to miss him. I thought about calling him and seeing if we could get back together but before I could I heard he was seeing someone new. Worse still: the bitch is totally beautiful. I have no hang-ups about my appearance but I saw her one day and she's taller than I am with legs longer than Jack's beanstalk. Platinum blonde. Maybe I'm casting dispersions but I think she may be something of an airhead. I'm sure she'll be perfect for squeezing out 2.3 brats and making dinner for his boss some night.
I've since been with 2 other guys. One was a total jerk who talks a good game until you want to talk to him the next day.
The other was decent but he also seems a bit aimless. I've had a boyfriend before that just sat around my apartment smoking my pot and playing his XBox all day and I'm not eager to repeat that experience.
So now I'm single again. I think I'll stay that way for a while.
My dad even laid in on me about the breakup. He really liked the ex. I tried pulling the trump card of making one's father hate one's (ex-)boyfriend, "But daddy, we were having sex together."
"So what, you've had sex with all your boyfriends. At least this one was a good guy."
Thanks dad, way to make me feel even more miserable...
...and feel like a slut.
Then they had some serious cutbacks here at work. I survived but my best friend didn't. Now I sit here alone for 8 hours a day.
My roommate had her hours cut back and with it extra expenses. Short version: no cable, no internet at the homestead.
So many times I wanted to get back online and talk to you guys here at DU but between being depressed and fearing the axe if I was seen not doing work related stuff I just couldn't. I needed the support. You people are precious beyond words.
If it weren't for my friend Matthew I would have gone insane but I owe him a new wardrobe because of all the salt stains from the tears I've left on his shoulder. If you don't have a gay man in your life, get one.
Thanks for letting me rant.
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