Today's phrase is "Dildo Mallet"

[arcadian]

dil-doh mal-it

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=389&topic_id=8067831&mesg_id=8067831

[redqueen]

1. I wonder if he's really saying 'mallard'.

Cockhammer.

[MrCoffee]

3. Yeah, because "dildo mallard" makes so much more sense

[redqueen]

5. If I read the thing right, the person had a duck mask on.

Or maybe I just imagined that.

I don't want to take this test tonight.

Think up a good excuse for me, would you?

[MrCoffee]

6. You accidentally got your hand stuck inside the cat.

You have a touch of ebola, but should be fine in the morning.

There is a county-wide #2 pencil shortage...you'd be happy to take the test with a #3, but that's probably not going to cut the mustard.

You have a car bomb. You turned the key and the car exploded in a hellish nightmare of burning plastic and steel. So you had the car towed to the shop, and the mechanic got in, turned the key, and was engulfed in a conflagration. "Yep, it's a car bomb," said the mechanic.

Your parakeet is way to drunk for you to leave it home by itself. Last time you did, it ordered 15 extra large cheese pizzas and illegally downloaded the entire Pauly Shore catalog to your hard drive.

You took some over the counter sinus medicine without carefully reading the label for counterindications, and it mixed with the constant stream of halidol to give you sausage fingers.

Your great-uncle Elmer needs you to bail him out of jail for violating his parole by inviting a female state trooper to "Strip search the hell out of me!"

Your clinical ennui has reached a boiling point and the whole "testing" process is just way too much to handle, man.

[MilesColtrane]

2. I prefer "Schlong Maul".

[bluesbassman]

4. Wasn't he the evil Jedi in Porn Wars?

:)