Guy yapping on the cell phone at the library. What would you do?

[bif]

Signs are posted on both doors that phone calls can only be made in the entranceway. Yet this a-hole was yammering to his son about which season of "24" to check out. I was going to say something, but he looked like a total dick and I didn't feel like getting into a fight with him. What would you have done?

[Cant trust em]

1. Probably just tell the librarian about it.

I always fantasize about walking up to these people and asking them to be quiet, but I rarely ever do it. I'm generally conflict averse. Do I want to get into fist fights with all of these people?

[SeattleGirl]

2. Send Marian the Librarian over.

[TheMightyFavog]

6. Marian is of no use...

You need CONAN THE LIBRARIAN!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZHoHaAYHq8

[Bucky]

3. I'd shush him. That's what you're supposed to do in a library. Create peer pressure.

[rcrush]

4. Punch him in his mother fucking throat.

He won't be making phone calls for awhile then.

[Richardo]

5. Go to the end of the stacks and domino the book cases until one crushes him.

I'd like to do this at movie theaters too, but: no bookshelves.

[struggle4progress]

7. Y'know that 75 pound dictionary on the stand in the corner? Waddaya think it's there for?

Smeck him in the schnozz with the thing to get his attention, and then politely ask him to take his phone conversation elsewhere

[Skittles]

8. I'd kick his ass

[Bertha Venation]

19. YES INDEED

[Amerigo Vespucci]

9. I'd taze his ass, take his phone, check his wallet, knee him in the groin, and say "have a nice day"

That's how I roll, G.

:rofl:

[MassLiberal]

10. you mean like this guy?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PHqdz-g8tQk

:shrug:

[hvn_nbr_2]

11. Quietly squeeze a tube of Superglue onto the junction of ear and cell phone.

Since cell phone yakkers are typically oblivious to the parts of the universe around them, he probably wouldn't even notice until he hangs up and tries to put it away.

[BlueJazz]

12. Go get a Fire Extinguishers off of the wall, walk up to him and spray the whole fucking..

...thing all over him.....then smash him in the face and run out the door screaming "Here comes Peter Cottontail hopping..."

[meeshrox]

13. I would have sat down in front of him and started a staring contest!

[leeroysphitz]

14. Eat some Mentos.

[MiddleFingerMom]

15. Was in the Univ of Ariz library once...

.
...when this idiot got into a long-winded conversation with his
buddy -- didn't start out TOO bad, but quickly degenerated to the
point where the guy we could hear was doing a non-stop monologue
and almost literally every other word was fuck or shit.
.
Serious.
.
I went and got a librarian and she walked over just in time to
hear him say "f-in s- f-d me up, the mf-in f-er".
.
She fucked his shit up.
.
Buh-bye.
.

[wickerwoman]

16. Throw the book at him.

:P

[HopeHoops]

17. Two options: 1) Super Soaker; 2) Loud flatulence right beside him.

[datasuspect]

18. pistol whip him with his fucking phone until his eyeball popped out.

[Heidi]

20. Why exert so much energy when a sharp slap across the jaw with a stylish kidskin driving glove

would leave a much deeper emotional scar?

[lunatica]

21. I was in a bookstore when something like this happened

One man went off on him. Told him to take his phone and himself outside because he was too loud and bothering everyone. The guy looked totally confused and said, "I'm just talking on the phone man." like it was OK to talk on the phone no matter where or what you're doing. The gentleman talking to him told him that this was a bookstore where people liked to sit and read and that he was bothering everyone and again ordered him to take it outside.

Everyone else sat in complete silence just looking at the cell phone guy. He left.

[unsavedtrash]

22. SHHH cards...

http://www.coudal.com/shhh.php

[JanMichael]

23. Get these two Librarians on his case...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ne_WXP7lUWM

[texanwitch]

24. This is what I hate about cell phones.

This one reason I stopped going to the movies.

[Paladin]

25. Sit Down Across From Him With A Book Or Magazine.......

....and start reading from it in a loud voice until he shuts the fuck up......