was I civil, rude, or a coward?

[Bertha Venation]

First, let me say that I believe that impatience kills. I believe it raises the blood pressure. And of course impatient drivers can be dangerous.

This was impatience in the grocery store. I was at the dairy case. I put a pint of half & half into my cart and had just shut the cooler door and started to move off when I heard behind me, "jesus christ!" I turned to see the speaker yank the same door open and get something out. I stood there and stared at her and was rewarded when she looked at me. She turned her head away quickly and moved off.

Was I rude for staring until she looked at me? Was I a coward, or was I civil, for saying nothing to her?

I don't know what I would've said, but I wish it would have been witty and cutting. What would you have said?

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. My dear Bertha!

I think you handled it just right. I would have done the same as you did...

You weren't rude at all...I look around too if I hear someone say something near me.

I don't see any reason for escalating...

Just looking at her let her know where you were. And she needed that!

:hug:

[MiddleFingerMom]

2. I think your reaction...

.
...was perfect!
.
I might have smiled -- though that smile would almost certainly
have been a hardcore smirk.
.
Hey... I never claimed that I was perfect.
.

[Quantess]

3. Not rude. I would have done the same. Maybe stared even longer.

What was her problem, anyway? She thought you were too slow or something?

[Bertha Venation]

5. I think that was it.

Who knew it was possible to be slow in selecting a dairy product? :shrug:

[GoCubsGo]

10. Oh, It IS possible.

I was grocery shopping the other day, and there was a couple and their cart blocking the case that had the ice cream that was on sale. First, they argued about the price. It was "buy one, get one free", or "half price", if you will But, he couldn't quite grasp that idea. Then, they couldn't make up their mind which flavor they wanted. I finally decided that I didn't really need ice cream anyway...

I'm not sure what grocery shopping is like in your town, but in mine, you can't walk into a store without encountering shelf stockers blocking every aisle. I am old enough to remember when they re-stocked the shelves at night, BEFORE people came in to shop. Not any more. Compounding that are the idiots who park their carts right next to them, so nobody else can pass by until they're done hemming and hawing about which can of soup they want.

Then there are the "race car" shopping carts one has to dodge, because Mommy is incapable of steering that monstrosity through the aisles without whacking everyone in her path. And, half the time, the kid isn't even riding in it.

And, then there are the stand-alone exhibits, the coupon ladies, the free sample tables, etc. that block the flow of traffic. I really understand how aggravating it can get, especially if all you wanted to do was run in and get some milk.

That being said, perhaps if that woman's parents had taught her the words "excuse me", she might not have needed to get so uptight and act like such a jerk. :-)

[blueamy66]

14. I hate the bloody grocery store.

People go blind once they enter. They think that they are the only ones in the store.

Get your shit and get out.

And no, don't let your sweet little 3 year old get every single yogurt and place them one at a time in your cart. Geeesshhh.

[tigereye]

26. usually excuse me works pretty well...

although I was once yelled at and almost run over by a woman in the grocery store parking lot, who hated waiting while I backed out of my parking space

[madinmaryland]

29. Yeah. I spend a couple minutes looking for the latest expiration date

on milk and milk products. I found two gallon containers that were dated 4/18 today, while all of the others were much sooner. Not that it's a big deal, cause my daughter and wife will kill a gallon in just a few days!

[LibDemAlways]

4. I think you were plenty civil. However, that woman clearly saw you as

an impediment to getting what she wanted out of that case. It was all about her and you were in the way.

It's hard to think of a witty comeback on the spot, so I have no idea what I would have said. I hope I'd think of something like, "Jesus isn't in there. You might try the bread and wine section" and then just walk away.

[annabanana]

9. I NEVER think of good stuff like that to say!

Until way way too late. I wish my wit was quicker. . .

[WildEyedLiberal]

6. I think you handled it just right

Saying something might've given her a reason to start shit and feel all justified at being pissy at you, but staring at her let her know that you fully recognized what an ass she'd been. She probably left so quickly because she realized she'd been a colossal ass.

[elleng]

7. Civil,

and I would have done the same thing. (My daughters sometimes complain about my stare, esp. when I use it re: their father. I think its MUCH MORE civil than would be my words.)

[cherokeeprogressive]

8. You stared at someone for saying "Jesus Christ" out loud? You stared at her until she looked at you

Not civil, rude, or coward-like. Just strange.

I wouldn't have stared, nor would I have tried to think of anything witty or cutting to say. What good would it have done ANYONE?

[Tuesday Afternoon]

11. I could be wrong about this

but it sounds to me like she was mad because you shut the door. I am guessing that you did not know she was standing there ...... ?

Anyway, she over reacted and Yes, I would have turned around if I had heard that exclamation. I am not sure if I would have said anything but I definitely would have turned around to see what was going on.

:shrug:

:hi:

[Lil Missy]

12. You stood there for several minutes talking to the cottage cheese, bitch!!

:hide:


:*

[av8rdave]

13. When someone utters that at me,

I simply turn to them and say, "why yes! How can I help you, my son/daughter?"

Shuts 'em up every time.

[MiddleFingerMom]

18. THAT'S funny!!

.
In my younger days, I DID look like Jesus (as I got older and heavier
and grayer, that turned into looking like Jerry Garcia -- when much
younger, I looked like a young slender Leon Russell).
.
I went to college with a Palestinian man who use to introduce me to
his Middle Eastern buddies thusly -- "This is my homeboy... Jee-soos."
.
I loved that.
.

[Iggo]

15. Some people go slower than I do.

But if they got there first, they weren't that slow, were they?

Your answer should have been, in your best Napoleon Dynamite impression, "He'll be here. Be patient. Jeez!"

[HopeHoops]

16. "Yes? May I help you?"

[Bucky]

17. Torn betwn smiling to say "It'll be OK" reassuringly vs saying "We thank thee, Lord, for this milk"

[RushIsRot]

19. My mother's standard response to an outburst of that sort was:

"Better call on someone who knows you."

:evilgrin:

[murielm99]

23. I had a high school biology teacher who used to say, "How did

you ever recognize me without my sandals?" The kids caught on pretty fast.

Just last week, someone was rude to me in the store. I was standing in front of a seafood freezer, deciding whether or not I wanted to purchase shrimp. I must have stood there too long. A lady came up behind me and said, "Excuse me" in a very rude tone. I said "Of course," and moved away. It did bother me a bit, but I had been woolgathering. No one else could get into the freezer, given where I had stopped.

Later, I was in another part of the store. The same lady asked me, in the same p.o.'ed manner, if I knew where the frozen veggies were. I offered to take her there. A young woman came up and said thank you to me, and then said, "Come on gram. I'll take you there." I replied with a smile that I could not always find things in that store, either.

I realized that this lady was older than I thought, still somewhat independent, but needed a little help with her shopping. Maybe some of the other rude people in the store have problems or preoccupations, too. I think I will try to be a little more understanding until further notice.

[tigereye]

27. great!

:rofl:

[tigereye]

28. great!

:rofl:

[gmoney]

20. "And Happy Easter to you, too!"

[Bluzmann57]

21. A glare can put someone down

more than a few curse words. So you did the right thing, imo.

[Duer 157099]

22. I've been on both ends of that situation

And honestly, I try always to err on the side of the impatient one. Meaning, even if I'm not in a hurry, I try to be very aware of the people around me and whether *they* might be in a hurry and how I might be blocking their progress.

For me, that's the main problem, people not being aware of their surroundings and the people around them.

When I have found myself to be blocking someone without my having known it, I feel really shitty about it because I know what it's like and I never, ever intend to do it.

edit to add: Also, I think most of us have found that an apology very quickly defuses the situation for all concerned, even if you don't think you did anything wrong. Just apologize for having not noticed her standing there and I assure you, both of you would have left the situation better than you did.

[hippywife]

25. I smile and apologize, too,

if I've gotten in someone's way and usually get a smile in return, but not when they are rude enough to say what she did at K. I usually get snarky at that point and I know I shouldn't. It's an auto reflex from having a hot-tempered father.

:hi:

[Shell Beau]

24. I am no fan of impatience, but many people out there are impatient.

That old saying that patience is a virtue is true in my book. I wish more people could realize that impatience conquers nothing.

[applegrove]

30. I think you handled it well. You didn't let them get away

with crap but did it in a way that didn't escalate the situation. Good show!