The Worst Mother in America Award

[HillWilliam]

Source: Betty Bowers

BETTY BOWERS: (chattering) Pipe down, ladies. (gunfire) Re-holster!

Good evening True Christian homemakers, and welcome to the annual B.I.T.C.H. "Worst Mother in America" awards banquet, sponsored by Remington Rifles -- and Xanax. Gals, it's been a tight race this year and many public figures -- even some without reality shows -- have fought with sharp outfits -- and even sharper elbows -- for tonight's award. But the prize was cinched with news of Willow Palin continuing her family's tawdry tradition of guzzled-down booze bottles -- and hushed-up police investigations.

Some sore losers at table 3 claim that tonight's honoree isn't really the very worst mother in America. Well, not unless Dina Lohan ODs before dessert --

DINA LOHAN: (UNCHRISTIAN WORD) you! (sounds of someone with the sniffles)

BETTY: Goodness! And while our winner may actually only be the fourth or fifth worst mother in America, she receives this award tonight because the time she spends talking about being a mother is so profoundly at odds with the time she spends actually being one.

Hilarity continues at the link.

[demtenjeep]

1. Kate Gosselin should win this without trying

she is a true bitch

[jmowreader]

4. There are a few women who need this...

Kate Gosselin is one. Nadya "Octomom" Suleman is another. Some people would also list Michelle Duggar, although her major offense seems to have been converting her vagina into an extruder. (And I bet it isn't even vagazzled!)

But Sarah...ahh, Sarah feeds the dark recesses of the human soul.

[WildEyedLiberal]

8. - 1,000,000,000,000

For forcing me to think of Michelle Duggar and "vajazzling" in any kind of shared context x(

[Demoiselle]

2. Very very funny. Hilarity indeed!

[Roon]

3. I forget the name of this parody church

but years ago fred phelps thought they were real. Fred knows me, I am the reason they can't have open discussion boards on their sight. Sir Elton John used to post on their site too and he talked about it outside of the forum. Facts are powerful, thus, they can't have a chat room/message board anymore.

I was egging them on and asked why they didn't have a forum anymore, and they said they can't for security reasons.LOL

Now where are my pickled watermelon rinds?

[jmowreader]

9. It's not Landover Baptist, is it?

http://www.landoverbaptist.org/2010/april/catholicsincrisis.html

[jmowreader]

10. It's not Landover Baptist, is it?

http://www.landoverbaptist.org/2010/april/catholicsincrisis.html

[Writer]

5. Hysterical.

And so appropriate!

I think, however, that she could have done without the Patsy Ramsey comment. To compare a woman who lost her child to murder, and was run over by the press and the public although a grand jury failed to find enough evidence to indict her, only to succumb to a relapse of cancer and to be posthumously cleared by the PD, to the narcissistic user that is Sarah Palin is beneath contempt.

[SoxFan]

6. Sorry, but Patsy Ramsey knew more than she ever let on

Same goes for her husband and the older kids. Something always smelled wrong about that family.

[Writer]

7. I know people who knew her, and you are dead wrong. n/t