What the bleeding hell is wrong with my boss?!

[Bertha Venation]

I've been in leave without pay (LWOP) status at work twice in the last year; it's a bad position to be in. The powers that be frown upon it greatly. I get migraines and for this reason I've been unable to accumulate any significant PTO (paid time off. Sick leave and vacation are combined; three weeks per year).

By May 17 I will have accumulated just enough time to take one week off, just in time to go home for a week for my sister's brain surgery on that date. Taking that week off will put me in danger of getting into LWOP status again if I have any migraines when I get back and before I can accumulate any leave.

When I told my boss (this would be the secretarial supervisor, not any of the attorneys I work for) that I was taking this time off, her first action was to get her leave book down, quite pointedly and asshole-ish-ly, to check my leave balance and accrual. She said "you'll have just barely enough by then." I said, "I know. I've already checked it." She said "You might not want to take this time off. You know you have these headaches. You'll go into leave without pay if you have another one." No shit, Sherlock.

I knew, I SO knew, that she was going to be this presumptuous. I decided to tell her why I was taking the time off. But did the words "brain surgery" have any effect upon her whatsoever? No.

My boss threw all kinds of reasons at me why she believed I should not go to California. The best one: She described her own struggle as a single mother, how she could never take any vacation time because if one of her kids was sick that was the time she had to take off, so she was unable to accumulate any leave. I wanted to yell "your experience is not analogous!" But I didn't. I wanted to yell "this is not a vacation, you twit!" But more, I wanted to keep my job.

She said "is this something you can do on a weekend?" I corralled my anger and said very slowly, "I am going to be caring for my sister after brain surgery. If I could take two or three weeks, I would." She blinked rapidly after this, as if she couldn't believe someone would do this. A weird reaction. Nor did she seem to understand this: "I value my job, and I don't want to go into leave without pay status, but I do have this leave, and my family comes first."

Oh, and did she express any concern or sympathy for my sister? No, of course not.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. My dear Bertha...

Un-freaking-believable is what your boss is.

Is she a Republican, by any chance?

Where in hell is her compassion?

Do what you must, and what you want. That is the bottom line, for sure!

:hug:

[Bertha Venation]

6. I don't know her politics, but as to compassion --

I doubt that, if compassion had even occurred to her, she would even consider it a valid part of the equation.

:hug:

[Pharlo]

2. I know you wouldn't get paid for it,

but couldn't you take the time off from work to care for your sister under the Family Medical Leave Act and save your PTO for your headaches?

While, unlike LWOP, you could not be punished for taking time off using the FMLA. It would give your ass some cover in that arena at least.

[Bertha Venation]

7. I have FMLA for the headaches, but it doesn't protect me from

LWOP status going into my record. It may protect me from losing my job, but I'll still get the black mark of LWOP if it happens again. That will affect my performance ratings, raises, and bonuses.

Thanks for the thought, though. :)

[Pharlo]

9. Well, in today's climate,

protecting your job is the main thing. Best of luck with your sister.

[lunatica]

3. The reason I never went into management positions is I'm not an asshole

I'm serious. Supervisors and managers sell their souls to the company. They think a little corruption is OK. Well it's as OK as being just a little pregnant.

When my bother died I was in college and took an exam in which I didn't do very well because I was grieving. I talked to the professor and asked him if I could take it again because I had been out of town with my brother until he died after an accident (the whole family was there). The fucking asshole said that wasn't enough of a reason for him to allow me to retake the test. He added that others in the classroom didn't take time off so it would be unfair for me to take the test again.

People like that are their own center of the universe. If it doesn't touch them personally, it simply isn't important.

[MajorChode]

5. You don't have to be an asshole to be a manager

Judging by productivity, the best managers I've ever known weren't assholes. Believe it or not, if you give people control over their own destiny, they will screw themselves over much more than management ever could. They will work when they should be home sick, they will voluntarily adjust their schedules to avoid overtime, and they will be far more productive. The problem is that many people go into management because they want power over other people and generally they make for asshole bosses. In general, people like to be productive, but asshole bosses kill that will to be productive and people will instead focus their energy on how they can get back at that boss. Sure I have pressure from asshole managers above me to screw over employees, but because I'm one of the most productive managers they have, I can tell them to go piss up a rope with impunity.

[lunatica]

10. You're right. After years of having asshole managers I finally have two

who are really good, decent and get the staff to do just about anything for them because they treat the staff so well. As a matter of fact our departments are the most productive and smoothly run because everyone contributes to working together as a team. But, like you, they do it bucking their bosses a lot of the time.

[Initech]

4. Upper management people fucking suck.

I'm not saying all do - I'm sure there's some upper managers here. But right now I've been having problems with my boss as well after she had the nerve to compromise my credibility (it's been a week since that happened and I'm still really really bitter about it). It's just something you have to learn to deal with and a lot of times it's not pretty.

[Bertha Venation]

8. I'm not surprised that you're still bitter.

I think you should allow yourself time for that to go away. I'm sorry that happened.

[Initech]

11. Yeah I know I should.

I don't mind being told that I'm wrong, and usually I'm the first to admit that I'm wrong. But when my boss said to my face that I had zero credibility, that's just cold. You don't do that to somebody, let alone the lowest paid guy on the totem pole. It's just wrong. My boss crossed a line that should not have been crossed. The good thing is the next time this happens, I will be better prepared for it.