How far would YOU take it?

[ScreamingMeemie]

I wasn't going to take it anywhere, to be honest, and then reconsidered after the input of friends/family. "It" being the dress code violation my son received on Friday for his hair. This is a public school. He was told his bangs were too long and that, if they were not trimmed by Monday (no worries I'm a licensed stylist and cut it myself), he would be on "lunch suspension" until the situation was "corrected". We had lunch with friends today and I noticed one of the girls had long hair, no bangs, that she was constantly pushing back, out of her eyes. I asked if the school had ever issued a violation for it. She has never been told to get a haircut.

For reference, BabyG is a good kid-no principal visits, no fights, good enough grades. He's just an average kid. Also, for reference, a picture of his hair:



What would you do? He's not wanting a trim but I know that, if I cut it, it wouldn't be the end of the world. It's basically the principle of the issue. Nowhere did it state this in the student handbook and I really don't think his hair is a distraction.

TIA.

[lunatica]

1. First of all he's gorgeous and would look totally cool with short hair too

Second, behind your back the teacher will pick on him because she will see him as being the defiant one.

Third, there's no accounting for taste.

Fourth, go to the principal and lodge a formal complaint against the teacher for trying to humiliate him and push him around and basically bullying him over something as insignificant as hair. If the principal says it's the school policy make him/her show it to you in writing.

Maybe the fourth point will visit some well deserved karma on the teacher, because she's a bully.

[ScreamingMeemie]

12. Thank you lunatica. I really appreciate the input.

We are somewhat new to the area (from MI)and it's tough enough trying to adjust to new school etc.

Thanks again.

[OffWithTheirHeads]

2. Oh for fuck sakes! Are people still doing this?

I remember being pulled into the principles office in the Sixties and being shown pictures of Hell's Angels kissing to prove to me that long hair on men was an abomination. Give me a break! Your kid looks great! Why would you agree to cut his hair to submit to some Teabagger interpretation of what a mans hair should look like? I mean really? Most of the Rebublican representatives look like they have a really pathetic, Donald Trump combover. Is that how you want your kid to look?

Listen, mom! I have been there! Do your kid a favor and do battle for him! My stupid teabag parents sent me to a Navy barber to "Make me conform" I left home two days later at the age of 14 and never looked back.

I'm about to turn 60 and I don't regret a minute of leaving when I was 14. I also still hate my parents, even though most of them are dead. And, for what it's worth, I also still have long hair.

[ScreamingMeemie]

14. Yeah, they are. I was a bit surprised because it's the exact same

cut he has had all year.

He made the decision (he's a bit shy and reticent about bringing down the wrath of KISD on himself) to take a 1/4 inch off the bang. We'll see what happens tomorrow.

Thanks for your input.

[wickerwoman]

3. Call the ACLU. Fight creeping fascism.

Seriously though... any lawyers in the family? Could they draft up a letter for you? Cause I suspect the principal would back down pretty quick if faced with a strongly worded letter implying that you intend to take this further.

If they argue the hair interferes with his vision, maybe he can wear a hat? Beyond that, they have no right to comment on the length or style of his hair.

[ScreamingMeemie]

15. My sister in law is. It's actually my brother who was the first one to

say WTF. The more I think about it the more crazy it seems. He's had the same cut all year.

[Taitertots]

4. I almost cut my hair...happened just the other day n/t

[Dystopian]

5. Lunch suspension?

Firstly, you have a beautiful son. Both my sons had long hair in school...really long, and they're now twenty-eight and thirty-eight. The hair thing was an issue during the 60s when I was in school. I'm shocked and disgusted. Also, bangs look like this when one is growing them out...don't know if that's the case, but matters not.

Girls can have long hair, boys can't? I would, as you stated, speak out on principle. This is outrageous.
Lunch suspension...as in, he can't have lunch or go in the cafeteria? This is nonsense, and also cruel.

I have issues with those who have issues with hair...they have a problem.
I know you don't want your son to feel singled out if you do pursue this. I'd speak with him and ask his opinion.
We are our children's advocates.

The word 'bully' keeps coming to mind....
If this was my son, I'd do something....but that's just me.

Best wishes with your decision....
Remember, your actions will be forgotten by many, but your son will never forget.

peace & love to you both~

[ScreamingMeemie]

16. He's a bit shy and worried about "getting in more trouble". I told

him I would not allow for them to cause more trouble and that it was up to him.

Thank you for your input.

[HipChick]

6. Get some local media involved..local newstations etc

[ScreamingMeemie]

17. Thank you HC.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

7. My kid would be in serious trouble there...

Talk with your son about it, and see how he feels. He might not want all the attention that fighting for a principle brings. Then again, he might be up for it. As long as he keeps it clean, I don't see where the school has any right to complain.

By the way, I'd love it if you could style my kid's hair ala rock star wannabee. I want to take him somewhere to have it done, but he'll freak if they cut too much. You're boy's hair looks really nice!

[ScreamingMeemie]

18. Your son is gorgeous.

We haven't had a problem with his hair length all year. This just came at us and I was kind of WTF stunned.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

50. Do you think it could be a political thing?

Is long hair a Democratic phenomenon?

[Spacemom]

8. I see nothing wrong with the length of his hair

He's a sweet looking kid!

I guess the question is how far does he want to push it? Is the hair important to him, does he feel it's a vital part of who he is? I would back his play however he wants to take it. Just let him know that it could turn in to a real hassle. He's in a public school, not a boot camp, I thought these battles were fought long ago, guess I was wrong. :(

[ScreamingMeemie]

23. We opted for the teensiest of trims.

It should get him through the end of the year. He didn't want to rock the boat. I'm asking for a meeting with the principal anyway.

[Danger Mouse]

9. Ridiculous. I'd fight it, if he's game for it.

If he isn't, it's probably best just to drop it.

It amazes me that there are schools out there that are still stuck in the stone ages.
Yuck.

[ScreamingMeemie]

24. We did a bitty trim.

He decided, if they have an issue with it still, that we'll do something then. Thanks DM.

[femmocrat]

10. That is totally ridiculous.

I would call the principal back and tell him/her that NOWHERE does it state in the student handbook that students must have "regulation" haircuts.

Hell, I see kids with giant multi-color mohawks that are considerably more "distracting" than your son's bangs. He's a really cute boy, and is obviously not being rebellious. A lot of boys are wearing their hair in that style now.

Tell the principal you are willing to go to the school board and see how fast he backs down! Good luck! :hi:

[ScreamingMeemie]

25. My daughter went to a Catholic school for 6 years and we did not

have any issues with dress code. This is the style (or variation of it) that my son has had for the past year.

Thanks for your input. :hi:

[Odin2005]

11. Wow, the 60s called, it wants it's fear of boys having long hair back!

There is NOTHING wrong with his hair! Cut it if you must, but get on the school's case about that fucked up dress code!

[ScreamingMeemie]

26. And I didn't think it was that very long, comparing it to other kids

in the area. It really threw me.

[Brickbat]

13. If it's not in the handbook, there isn't a case. If you're son is cool with it, I would make an

appointment with the principal and ask where the regulations are on hair length.

[ScreamingMeemie]

27. I cut just a little bit of it. What amounted to a trim.

I am going to ask to meet with the principal tomorrow. This and another issue have been bothering me.

[Brickbat]

33. Good luck!

My son had shaggy hair too and was made fun on the bus by some older kids but never had a problem with teachers. He decided he wanted it cut a couple months ago and now he looks exactly like Johnny from the Cobra Kai dojo in "Karate Kid." He loves it. Everyone was shocked when he got it cut; it's been years.

[tigereye]

19. I thought that kind of crap was over- sounds like the 60s! in catholic school

seems a pretty silly thing for a school to worry about, all in all.

[ScreamingMeemie]

28. My daughter's Catholic school never appeared to have issues.

It's just insane.

[kimi]

20. He's a handsome young man and one to be proud of

and of course you are. I agree with others, as a mom to five boys. If he wants to push it, I'd also talk to the principal, since it appears that he's being singled out as a male student. If he doesn't, it would be perfectly understandable, since it can be really distracting at that age to buck the system, and if a trim will suffice, maybe that will shut down the issue. I'd leave it up to him, and be prepared to go higher if necessary. How ridiculous that there are still double standards like that in public schools. I see kids at my sons' school with more outrageous dress and hair all the time.

Good luck, with whatever happens.

[ScreamingMeemie]

29. Thank you kimi.

I'm going to ask for a sit down, and we bumped his trim up a couple of weeks to tonight. It's not much of a change and he isn't willing to go any shorter so we'll see what happens. Thanks so much for the advice.

[JanMichael]

21. Some of the coolest dudes ever had BIG hair!

As evidence: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3SZE2o5_Wgg&feature=related

[ScreamingMeemie]

30. Heh. Thanks JM...

How are you? :pals:

[XemaSab]

22. I would take it back 1/4 inch

:D

[ScreamingMeemie]

31. ...

:) Amazingly, that is exactly what we did.

[XemaSab]

34. Excellent

:D

[AwakeAtLast]

32. I'm a teacher

I'm telling you to fight this. He is being discriminated against and it should be stopped. They would never tell a girl to cut her hair for the reasons stated, so that is the basis for discrimination. If they say they do, ask for documentation.

The only thing we say about hair is no "extreme" hairstyles. That does not include mohawks, but does include unnatural dye colors.

Go through the proper channels in order: person who disciplined him (was it the teacher or principal?), then go to their superior if you are not satisfied. If you have to address the school board, then you will have to do that.

I hope this helps - there are so many other things to worry about at school besides hair. I can't believe this is even an issue! Good luck!

:hug:

[ScreamingMeemie]

42. Thank you.

He's a had a rough go with even keel living since he lost his dad. This is something he shouldn't and won't have to contend with. Thanks again.

[Shell Beau]

35. I see you have tried to work it out, but I wanted to say how

precious he is. Handsome guy you have there.

[ScreamingMeemie]

43. Thank you Shell...

He's everything to me. Although he's trying my patience a bit tonight. Note the time...and he is wandering around.

[MiddleFingerMom]

36. I was raised by parents...

.
...who made me keep my hair short -- while not militarily short, once it
got over my ears and "sweepbackable" or well over my back collar, it
was time to go to MiddleFingerMomDad's best friend, Joe the Barber.
.
Catholic school had the same type rules. Fourth grade, I go to Joe the
Barber and MFMD dictates the "trim" -- what used to be called a "Princeton"
(pretty much a total buzz cut with nothing but these little bangs up front --
one of the uglier male hairstyles EVER).
.
When I was a kid, wearing a baseball cap in school was un-fucking-thinkable.
I was so humiliated and shamed that I wore mine pulled down low and refused
the teacher's command to take it off. Down to the principal's office WITH
the teacher leading the way -- my hat still solidly locked in place. The
principal, a tough but kind old nun, asked the teacher to leave, gently asked
me to show her what was under my hat.
.
When she saw it, she patted me on the hand several times and told me that I
had special permission to wear my hat until I was "ready" to do without it.
.
Will I go to Hell for wanting to MARRY that nun at that point?
.
Anyways... I think your plan so far is good. The slightest of trims (shows
willingness to "negotiate" or maybe "compromise" -- shouldn't HAVE to show
these things, but there it is), TALK TO THE PRINCIPAL... but I would not make
a big deal out of the whole situation if pushed to the wall.
.
Yeah, it's wrong. Yeah, it's unconstitutional. Yeah, in a perfect world,
we want to teach our children to stand up and fight for what's "right",
but this WOULD be a major distraction that someone of that age does NOT
need on top of all the other "normal" distractions and problems and crises
that someone of that age is going to have anyways.
.
We also sometimes need to teach our children the wisdom of knowing what
fights are actually worth fighting and the ability to see when it TRULY does
matter. It's true... you should CHOOSE your fights wisely.
.
Whoever is pushing this, by the way... is an unmitigated asshole.
.
And, also by the way, almost certainly because of the restrictions MANDATED
by my parents and school and my years in the military, since then most of
the time my hair was somewhere between my shoulder blades and the small of
my back.
.
At this time, it's just past my shoulders (probably all it's capable of
anymore).
,

[ScreamingMeemie]

39. What a great principal of that school.

My father has a horror story from mid 50's Lutheran school. They sent him home because his "flat top" basically was what amounted to a "peeling", ie. little hair left. They told him he could not participate in 8th graduation due to his distracting hair cut. Good old Christian values.

[Skittles]

37. there's nothing wrong with his hair

there's nothing wrong with any hair that is clean (and groomed if necessary)

[ScreamingMeemie]

40. Thank you Skittles.

He spends more time in front of the mirror than I.

[Skittles]

46. young guys should have long hair

older guys have plenty of time to have short hair....or no hair :D

[Kat45]

38. What the heck is "lunch suspension"?

Sounds bizarre to me. Does it mean he can't go to lunch?

[ScreamingMeemie]

44. I think it is idiotic as well.

He has to eat lunch in the classroom, without his friends and classmates.

[Lucian]

41. I would leave it if he were my son.

If girls get to have their hair long, why can't he?

The school is way out of line for making him get it cut, and I'd tell them to fuck off.

[ScreamingMeemie]

47. He's been "rezoned" into a new school next year.

I was hoping to breathe our way through this last month or so. I don't get it when it's the cut he's had all year.

[LeftyMom]

45. I'd send my kid to school with some gigantic liberty spikes.

They wouldn't be in his eyes, right?

It's a good thing my kid's homeschooled, I guess.

[ScreamingMeemie]

48. That would be something.

And I'll keep it in mind for the next go round. :hi:

[quakerboy]

49. re freeking dickulous

Fight for your right. Or his. Unless you think the school is in the right.

Personally, it sure sounds to me like some of the "men gotta have manly haircuts" crap came into play. And that makes me want to metaphorically suckerpunch people. Not sure exactly how, but if one is determined one can always find a way to make it more annoying than its worth to be an ass.

[TrogL]

51. Get it out of his eyes

...and if he's taking shop it might be a violation of safety code.

[Dr Morbius]

52. I was about that age around 1972.

And prettymuch ALL the kids, boys and girls alike, had long hair. Mine was longer than that.

The question is, why is your school insisting on a cut? Who at your school is insisting? If as the last poster suggested it is for reasons of safety (unlikely in a kid so young) the school would have a point. If it is because the school feels it is "inappropriate" for boys to have long hair, whereas it is fine for girls to have long hair, I'd contact the ACLU. If it's just some teacher deciding he or she is going to be local dictator, there may be a recourse available to you in the school board. I mean, you may be able to appeal the decision; worth an email, anyway.

[rurallib]

53. looks to me like he could just comb it differently and be OK

I find it hard to believe hair is an issue (other than for safety) in these days.
Do you live in a fundie area or is the principal an old bald fart who is jealous?

[snooper2]

54. give that hippie a haircut, it's 2010

:rofl:

[Forkboy]

55. Man, if that's a distraction then I suppose the King Buzzo look is right out!

[redwitch]

56. gorgeous kid.

school is nuts. I mean, come on, it's 2010! My oldest son's nickname in high school was Jesus. Or Wookie. My son had some seriously LONG hair!

[Hell Hath No Fury]

57. Good heavens --

all the boys at my Catholic grade school had bangs like that in 1974. If it didn't bother Sr. Jarlath then, why the heck is it bugging a public school now??? :eyes:

[RFKHumphreyObama]

58. If it doesn't state it in the student handbook and they have not made it explicitly clear

in the past about the specific regulations on hair length, I think the school is overstepping the mark. I also think it is ridiculous to try and punish him for something as trivial as this -it's not affecting his grades and behavior and there's no basis on which it can possibly be considered as an act of rebelliousness or disrespect.

I think your son's hair looks fine and he's a handsome young kid. FWIW I went to a Christian school with strict regulations on appearance and dress and there were kids in my school who had the same length of hair that your son does and there were no problems with it.

BTW, who told him that his bangs were too long and that he would have a lunch suspension if he didn't take appropriate action? Was it a teacher or the principal? Some teachers can be more overzealous about uniform policy than the school administration. I remember a teacher once reprimanding me because I was wearing a dark grey belt as opposed to a black belt. He told me to go and see the deputy principal. When I saw the deputy principal, he laughed and told me it was fine.

[hamsterjill]

59. What a sweet little face!

I think your up-posts indicating that you've scheduled a meeting with the principal is the way to go. This way, the principal will know you are an involved parent, you are not afraid to stand up to the administration to ask "why" your son is being asked to cut his bangs, and will hopefully allow the remaining time to pass uneventfully.

[Deep13]

60. What's the principle of the issue?

:shrug: