shes been everybody elses girl maybe someday she'll be her own

[La Lioness Priyanka]

i love tori amos!

maybe someday i will...just not today!

[arcane1]

1. sure you will

why not?

[La Lioness Priyanka]

2. i have a way

of belonging more to others than to myself...its kinda annoying!

[arcane1]

3. yeah, I can really relate the the lyric too

been there done that. Trying to start your own garden using someone else's flowers, doesn't work out that well.

I'm MY OWN now, though, and I have some landscaping to do :bounce:)

[La Lioness Priyanka]

4. hopefully someday

i will be my own girl...

[arcane1]

5. wishing you luck, getting there is an interesting ride...

:thumbsup:


are you feeling not-your-own lately?

[La Lioness Priyanka]

6. thanks

its just i know i would lead my life very differently if it were all mine..and not mostly other peoples

[arcane1]

7. really? Anything in particular you would like to do differently?

sorry if I'm getting too personal :)

[La Lioness Priyanka]

8. yes...i would like to move somewhere warmer

i would like to study something that may never make money (but i cant cos i may always be responsible for my brother who is lovely but highly irresponsible) and have an open relationship.

but i hate hurting people so i will just suck it up.

[arcane1]

10. definitely been there too re: sucking it up

and it sucks. It's too bad, sounds like you have a lot of ambitions, I'd hate to see them go un-fufilled. I did manage to move away, and at least try the non-carreer school (took Chinese for 2 years, for no good reason) and currently have no relationship... but it took a lot of prying just to get to this point. Eventually the question had to be asked: just who am I living for?


you have a great support base here at DU, anyway! :)

[La Lioness Priyanka]

12. i like keeping people happy

making people unhappy bothers me a lot...that is why coming out to my mother was so fucking hard....

[arcane1]

14. oh yeah...

I have that same problem, I even hate giving bad news to people that I'm mad at!

At least that shows you have concern for others, that's a great quality to have too. The hard part is turning that around so that you feel that way about yourself.

kudos for overcoming the hurdle and talking to your mom, though! I can't imagine that being easy... :toast:

in worst case you can just sneak out one night and flee to Cali }(

[La Lioness Priyanka]

9. also in college i would have been a stripper

and would not have had so much debt had it not have been for hurting my parents dignity etc...i really think of sexwork as work...

[arcane1]

11. I certainly wouldn't call it easy work, that's certain

I've had friends in the business and it sure as hell is work!

I gave up on my parents' dignity ages ago :)

[La Lioness Priyanka]

13. well the thing is i was dating a stripper

who made much more money working as a stripper PT than i do now...i would not have 16,000 in debt and would be much better off financially...also i have no morality objections and have been offered such jobs many a time...(atleast when i was younger and sexier)

[arcane1]

15. good points

school isn't cheap! So it was your parents that stopped you? Or you didn't do it because they would've known?


(and don't give me that "when i was younger and sexier" bit :) )

[La Lioness Priyanka]

16. well you do know that the pics of me i post are ones

from about 2 years ago. anyway yes if my parents would have found out (which they probably would for a million reasons) they would have DIED! so i never did it.

[arcane1]

17. I don't really recall...

I think I saw a pic of you awhile back in one of those slow-loading pic threads... doubt much can happen over that time period that would change my mind :)

Apparently you have a great deal of respect for your parents, another good thing! I can relate to being hesitant to try a job like that, under the circumstances... is this something you would do now if the opportunity came up?

[La Lioness Priyanka]

18. no cos now my wife wont let me

:shrug:

to see old pics of mine check out my old old website..it on my profile.

[arcane1]

19. lol, I can understand that

though I'm not sure I would agree with her

I don't see any links, sadly, on yr profile... the old old site is a mystery :)

[La Lioness Priyanka]

20. Hey you are Right

http://homepages.nyu.edu/~pm288/

[arcane1]

21. ah yes, I remember seeing the B&W one...

you are both delightfully beautiful, IMHO

something tells me you still "got it" 2 years later :7

and you have a black cat too! :toast:

mind if I print out an essay or two for future reading? I didn't know you had a writing streak, too :)

[La Lioness Priyanka]

22. i wrote those essay when i was 19

read away but i think they are awfully immature!

[arcane1]

23. we'll find out!

:D



it will be a little while before I'll even have time, won't be home for a while tonight, so they are safe from my prying eyes at least until tomorrow :)

[ulysses]

24. Tori Amos

(Choirgirl specifically) got me through the 5pm-2am shift at CNN a couple of years back.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

25. i know the feelin

i do love her!

[ulysses]

26. the one thing I miss from being in IT

(besides a decent salary, although not so much at CNN) is the ability to spend the day with headphones on. :) Tori, Gipsy Kings, Santana, all manner of stuff.