Mary Carey for Governor - and you thought Arnold was interesting:

[LynneSin]

Actually, I'm amazed more DUers aren't jumping on the Mary Carey bangwagon. I was reading some of the statements from the 247 candidates running for governor and some of them are just to out there !

http://marycareyforgovernor.com/

My Gubernatorial Platform

The most important issue facing California right now is our $38 billion deficit and 6.7% unemployment rate. California needs a governor who will get our finances in order! As a “political outsider,” I have fresh, original ideas for helping the state generate revenue and reduce its deficit. Here are just some of them:

1. Legalize gay marriage in California. This will generate a tremendous amount of revenue for the state as a honeymoon destination.

2. Tax breast implants. From Beverly Hills alone, we should bring in millions in tax revenue. (Note: I am all-natural and I personally discourage the use of implants!)

3. Make lap dances a tax deductible business expense. This will help grease the wheels of business in California and stimulate our economy.

4. If I’m elected Governor, I will wire the Governor’s Mansion with live web cams in every room. We will create a pay site, and all money collected will go toward reducing the deficit. (note from Lynne - this is a porn star who wants to wire the governor mansion and sell it on pay-per-view. Their deficit will be gone in 2 weeks). Californians will get to see their government in action - literally! (Also, we will have people from around the globe helping to pay off our debt, so it doesn’t all fall on the shoulders of Californians.)

5. I will create a “Porn for Pistols” program to take handguns off the streets. Dealing with the violence and injuries associated with handguns is a huge drain on our state's resources.

6. As Governor, I will recruit fellow performers from the adult video industry as ambassadors of good will. These ambassadors will be a great help to California when it comes to such things as negotiating rates for buying electricity from neighboring states.

7. I will coordinate the state’s unemployment and jury systems, so that anyone who applies for unemployment will instantly be called for jury duty. This will save California state and local governments millions of dollars, because we won’t have to pay for jury duty. It will also relieve those with jobs from the stress of serving on lengthy juries.

8. I will fight the federal government's attempts to harass the adult video industry. Adult video is an $11 billion industry that creates more than $23 million in taxes each year for the state of California. We can't afford to lose this tax base!

[KG]

1. she's got my vote!

of course, her platform makes way too much sense, so she doesn't have a prayer of being elected :(

[ForrestGump]

4. Governmentwas never so interesting

And they're all-natural.

I'm convinced.

And, yeah, her ideas probably would turn the economy around. Wonder how I can get myself invited to the mansion?....

[Fenris]

2. Jesus, she's got more of a plan than anyone else in the race!

And yeah, I'd fucking pay to see that. The deficit would simply be nonexistent within weeks.

[Fenris]

5. And personally, "Porn for Pistols" is a fucking brilliant idea

How do you stop violence in the cities? Put something other than a gun into people's hands. Yeah, I meant penises. It's a good idea. How can you be angry when you've got an armload full of porn?

[ForrestGump]

6. Make love (even if only to yourself), not war

It's a simple concept, really.

[Fenris]

7. I. Like. This. Man.

(In my best Clinton voice)

I like the way you think!

[thom1102]

10. and a handful of...

oh, never mind! Just too easy sometimes...

[DeathvadeR]

3. You have got to be kidding me.........

I could swear the the whole thing is a publicity stunt to make the US look more democratic.

[WilliamPitt]

8. If she wins

we can have Larry Flynt in a seat of power within her administration. Imagine...

[TreasonousBastard]

9. Do I have to live in CA to vote for her?

Love her flags, but her site doesn't have the freebies.

[underpants]

11. I can't find her name on the Official site (PDF)

http://www.ss.ca.gov/elections/candidate_status_report_detail.pdf

[LynneSin]

12. I think her real name is Mary Cook

I know it isn't Mary Carey

http://freebush.org/marmarcookno.html

[underpants]

13. You mean porn stars don't use their real names?

I feel so lied to.

[LynneSin]

16. Do you need comforting?

I'll send matcom over

[GOPisEvil]

14. Well, if it's Mary Cook, she hasn't paid the filing fee yet.

She better get to it!

[LynneSin]

15. Maybe you can help chip in to get her on the list

I mean for $3,500 I would think they would give you the Pay-Per-View of the Governor Mansion for free if she wins!

[GOPisEvil]

18. If I pay the whole $3500...

...I bet I can STAR in the pay-per-view from the Governor's mansion.

[LynneSin]

19. You'll need a better porn name than GOPisEVIL

Sounds sinister, but not pornish enough!

[GOPisEvil]

21. How about Xavier Steel?

http://members.tripod.com/~Carter_Phillips/name.html (pop-up warning :eyes: )

[LynneSin]

22. eep, I got Heather Church - that's not very pornish

Sounds like I'm a steadfast virgin of 45

[GOPisEvil]

23. We can't all be porn stars...

...hint: keep hitting the "generate" button until you get a name you like. :D

[underpants]

25. Dick Bends

:bounce:

[Jonte_1979]

17. I thought it said "Mariah" at first

I'm relieved to hear it's just a porn star!

[thermodynamic]

20. If she's for real then she's cool!

:D

[noiretextatique]

24. she has some good ideas

like coordinating unemployment with jury duty, taxing implants, and porn for guns. and she could definitely eliminate the deficit with her porn-cam :D wasn't a porn star elected for some office in italy?
:evilgrin:

[GOPisEvil]

26. Cicciolina.

Hey! At least Mary's GOT a plan she's willing to discuss. Where's Arnold's?

[noiretextatique]

27. smiling for the cameras

:shrug: isn't that what "actors" do? god knows californians should be sick of bad actors pretending to be politicians. just look at what happened when they voted that other actor in as governor :eyes:

[underpants]

28. "All Natural-Made in the USA"

[GOPisEvil]

29. Hey, mom - meet my new girlfriend!

What?!?! She's freaking Governor of California, thankyouverymuch!

[underpants]

30. Oh really and what did she use to do?

:scared:

[GOPisEvil]

31. She was an actress. Nothing you've seen though...

...at least I hope not. :scared:

[ronnykmarshall]

32. #4

Someone needs to tell her we don't have a Governor's Mansion in California.

Other than that, she's brillant!

[GOPisEvil]

33. You don't?

Is there an offical residence for the Governor, or does he or she have to find their own place?

[ronnykmarshall]

36. Not since Gov. Brown Sr.

The old offical residence is now a tourist site. Cool old house. But the location is not good for security. The Reagans lived there very briefly.

Since then the GOV has provided their own housing. They tried to build a new offical residence when Gov Brown 2 was in office and I think he vetoed the idea.

Gov Davis in fact lives not far from me. I'm sure he was an apt in Sacto.

[LynneSin]

34. Well that could save money on wiring a governor's mansion for webcams

I'm sure she can find a place that's already pre-wired and call that home!

[underpants]

35. HA! That is hilarious

:bounce:

[Paragon]

37. Hey, Lynne - "bangwagon"?

That would be even more funny if it were just a typo. Paging Dr. Freud...