I have been invoked. Ask me anything.

[President_G_W_Bush]

[teach1st]

1. Clip on? NT

[President_G_W_Bush]

7. No, clip-ons give me nothing but headaches.

This one's just velcro.

[NicoleM]

2. What idiot

wrote those lame-ass jokes for you from the other night? And have you considered the possibility that they knew the jokes would backfire, and they only wrote them to make you look bad?

[President_G_W_Bush]

9. I wrote them.

Although, in the sober (and not cocaine-riddled) light of day, they didn't seem so funny.

[NicoleM]

12. Well, then.

That explains it.

Have you considered the possibility that you were subconsciously trying to ruin your chances at winning so that you could go back to your fake ranch and spend more time with your Playstation?

[President_G_W_Bush]

Who says I'm not already?

I've got a pretty good body double, you know.

[KissMyAsscroft]

3. When are your memoirs coming out?

I figure you will have plenty of time next year to work on them.

[President_G_W_Bush]

10. Whenever I can find a ghostwriter good enough

to make me look like a decent human being.

[indigo32]

13. Do you really think such an individual exists?

?

[President_G_W_Bush]

21. Maybe Ann Coulter can do it.

[Deb]

4. Have you started packing?

[President_G_W_Bush]

11. Yup. The bong is full

*bubble bubble bubble bubble*

[arcane1]

5. we invoketh thee

where you been hiding? In a cave w/Osama?

[President_G_W_Bush]

14. R'lyeh, actually.

Cthulhu and I have this deal, you see...

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

6. When you tasking Condi to spend more time with her family?

Just wondering

[President_G_W_Bush]

15. Very soon. Very very soon.

[SarahB]

8. How do you feel about Clarke's new book?

[President_G_W_Bush]

17. I think Clarke's perception of reality is distorted...

by his certain-to-be-fatal brain tumor.

[terrya]

16. Why are you supporting a consitutional amendment banning gay marriage?

[President_G_W_Bush]

18. Because I enjoy sowing strife and discord.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

19. Who's YOUR DADDY?????

:spank:

[President_G_W_Bush]

22. George H.W. Bush.

Or, "Daddy" to me.

[LynneSin]

20. Actually, you've been COKED

been like that for awhile dude!!!

[President_G_W_Bush]

23. You got me.

I've actually been on a 2-week-long heroin-fueled bender.

It has left my bowels in a weakened state.




Oh, dear, I think that one just touched cloth!

Gotta run!

[Most Rev. Jerry]

24. God Bless you, Sir

You are a beacon in these end times. You are the rock upon which we can finally safely build our church. You are the wind beneath my wings. Shall I make this out to Bush/Cheney '04, or to you personally?

[President_G_W_Bush]

25. No wonder I made it to the top!

I could always count on windbags to blow sunshine up my butt!

Make that out to Bush/Cthulhu 04

[Most Rev. Jerry]

26. Excellent

I need a lot of wind beneath my wings, if you know what I mean. I'm very very sweaty.

The limit this year is what, 20 million bucks?

[President_G_W_Bush]

27. Yeah, something like that.

What's a few extra zeros between friends?

[Most Rev. Jerry]

28. Glory!

Oh Glory, Glory, Glory, Glory!