Fave Cartman quotes

[shekina]

My absolute fave Cartman quote has to be whenever he says "Screw you hippies!!" For some reason, i bust out in laughter every time he says that. Cartman is so evil, but so funny.

[AlCzervik]

1. Cartman

"NO KITTY THATS MY POTPIE"

[trotsky]

2. "No, kitty kitty, that's a BAD kitty kitty!"

I never watch South Park anymore - I dunno, it doesn't tickle my funnybone like it did the first couple of seasons.

"I did NOT have an anal probe, and I am NOT under alien control!"

[Shoedogg]

4. You should get back to watching....

...it's funnier and more topical than ever.

This week's episode: Kyle goes to see "The Passion!"

I can't wait!

[shekina]

6. ya...

I'm kinda anxious about that one. I know they've made reference to the Passion already, but since all of it's come from Cartman, a proven anti-semite, I ain't too worried about it.

[Shoedogg]

3. Several Episodes after he killed Scott Tenerman's parents, he said...

To Ms. Choksondik, "I'll make you eat your parents."

Funniest Cartman EVER and it required knowledge of the 'Scott Tenerman' episode to even get the joke.

That Cartman is deep...

[everythingsxen]

11. Yes

He has made a couple references to it since Scott Tenerman. I loved that episode *so* much. It was absolutely brillaint.

I love Cartman. He is soooo evil.

How about the episode with the company the parents were hiring to pretend to be the kids from the future, sent back to convince them to not do drugs?

OMG! Cartman's revenge business, great stuff.

[NicoleM]

5. There can me only one:

RESPECT MAH AUTHORITAY!

[shekina]

7. what about...

"My mom says God hates gay people. That's why he smote the Sodomites in France". Freaking hilarious

[KissMyAsscroft]

8. when he was channeling "Silence of the Lambs"

"It puts the lotion on the skin...or else it gets the hose again!....

"PUT THE LOTION IN THE F**ING BASKET!!!!!!"


I lose it every time I see that.

[everythingsxen]

9. The anti-smoking episode..

http://www.spscriptorium.com/
Great site for finding all your favorite quotes :D
Huh? Oh, I get it, Kyle. That's your Serbian Jew double bluff. Make me think you don't care about being in the commercial so that maybe I won't either. Ooops. didn't work, did it, Kyle?

Serbian Jew double bluff... only Cartman.. wtf. :P

The other one that made me nearly piss myself laughing was when Kyle's cousin visited.

Ms. Choksondik: Concentration is the key to succeeding in my class.
Cartman: Maybe we'll have to send him to concentration camp. AWGH! Damnit, damnit, damnit!

I couldn't believe he said that shit. OMG I laughed sooooo hard. :evilgrin:

Dude that show is so fucked up. :D

[shekina]

10. OMG!!!

I forgot about that!!! Dude, ur second answer is quite possibly the funniest, mos "wrong" thing I've heard all week.

[everythingsxen]

12. Yes!!

Cartman = evil = funny!

[Bertha Venation]

13. "I'm part lesbian on my grandmother's side." and

OW! MY ASS!

[shekina]

14. or

"Dude, I've been licking this carpet for 3 hours and I still don't feel like a lesbian". OMG....so wrong....yet so funny.

Another fave: "Mom, if you were in a German Scheiser movie, you'd tell me right?"

[Shoedogg]

24. HAHAH!!

"Mom, if you were in a German Scheiser movie, you'd tell me right?"

That one is still regularly quoted in our house!

[GOPisEvil]

15. The fireman is very magical. If you rub his helmet, he spits in your eye.

:evilgrin:

[DiverDave]

18. YESSS!

That cracks me up.

[Mrs. Venation]

16. "I'm Part Lesbian On My Grandmother's Side"

Never fails to make me laugh. I love Cartman.

[shekina]

17. already said, but still funny

Another good one: "Speaking of pounding ass, here comes Stan's little homo dog". Once again, so wrong, yet so funny

[sarahbellum]

19. when he tells kyle he's sorry for

calling him a jew, and he didn't mean it.

i can't remember exactly how it goes. but there are so many great cartman quotes, i couldn't even begin.

[shekina]

20. it goes like

"I'm sorry I was so mean to you Kyle. You're not a jew"

"Yes I am Cartman. I am a Jew". It was from the movie and it also made me laugh


Another good one from the movie is where's he's yelling just about every vile word to Saddam Hussein and he yells "Blood drenched frozen tampon popsicle".

[greeneyedpookie]

21. Oh that Cartman

(cartman)
"Mom, kitty's being a dildo"
(mom)
"Well then I know a certain kitty kitty that is sleeping with mommy tonight"
(cartman)
"What?"

GEP

:bounce:

[TheMightyFavog]

23. The expression on the cat's face..

Priceless...

[TheMightyFavog]

22. We are Trapper Keeper....

I don't get to see south Park that often, seeing how I don't have Cable, but that trapper keeper episode had me in stitches.

(a la HAL 9000) Stan? What are you doing Stan?

[Rabrrrrrr]

25. Jews can't be ninjas. They have no spine.

Oh yeah?! My mom took me to see Mel Gibson's movie, The Passion, and Mel Gibson says you are a sloth and you are a liar. And if the Road Warrior says it, it must be true.


And then later, I loved the bit of Cartman telling Kyle that Kyle can't let go of the nunchucks because he's a Jew: Mel Gibson was right, Kyle. Right now the Jew in you is screamig "NO! Those cost money! Get your money back!" You know this to be true. Go ahead. Prove Mel Gibson wrong, Kyle. Do it!

Great episode.

[shekina]

26. i was surprised

that Kyle really did try to return it. I thought wanting to prove Cartman wrong would have been a bigger incentive than getting your money back

[Rabrrrrrr]

29. Ah, another beautiful anti-semitic remark on DU

Gosh. You should be proud of yourself, I hope, for such an astute observation into the nuances of all of Judaism.

Not only really clever and original of you, but succinct and to the point. Bigotry spelled out in a mere nine words. Well done!

:puke:

[shekina]

30. alright, i changed it

don't get you panties in a wad. you're the one who originally mentioned it

[LastKnight]

27. man, this is gonna suck donkey balls...

or...

RESPECT MAH AUTHORO-TAH!

-LK

[AP]

28. Poor people tend to live in clusters.

Step out of the car, sir.