Twenty-six signs you've married a right winger

[joefree1]

Formerly fifteen signs you've married a liberal

26. Gives a dollar to a homeless person and asks for change.
25. Says "ditto," "that's so PC," or "I don't give a rats ass" constantly.
24. Owns an SUV that gets 10 MPG and 20 "sport" guns plus $200.00 hiking shoes but hasn't been out of suburbia since boyscouts as a kid.
23. Getting close to nature means a country drive in a Suburban.
22. Tries to convince you that Jesus was a capitalist.
21. Calls it slave labor in Cuba but "right to work" in China.
20. Conserves passion (ergo "Compassionate Conservative").
19. Worse case scenario; Global warming means his Arizona ranch will have beach front property.
18. Believes school prayer is free speech as long as it is done to the "right" god.
17. Outraged by welfare mothers but weepy for corporate welfare.
16. His/her solution to the school shooting problem is to arm all the kids so everyone has a fair chance.
15. Pro life but pro tobacco, pro guns, pro nuclear, and pro death penalty.
14. In your wedding vows, "love, honor, and cherish" were replaced with "condescend, enrich, and respect his/her freshly starched pajama suits."
13. His white T-shirt has a pointy hood.
12. Supported Bush for President in 2000, because he promised to lead us into the 20th century.
11. Cheats on your taxes, then donates the refund check to the Moral Majority.
10. Has the National Rifle Association on speed dial.
9. Delays your funeral until the estate tax is repealed.
8. Every time you try to get frisky, she asks why you can't be more like Bob Dole.
7. Whenever you have to make a tough decision, she mutters "What would Nancy Reagan do?"
6. Refers to your children as "deduction one and deduction two."
5. Refers to sex as "the once a year duty to berth more Republicans."
4. At the height of passion, cries out, "Exploit my natural resources!!!"
3. Blames the Holocaust on failed attempts to restrict German gun rights.
2. Constantly scolds your dog by screeching, "dirty little nudist animal"

And the Number 1 Sign You're Married to a Conservative...
1. He/She's got the kids playing "slumlords exploit tenant revenue streams" again.

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http://ediablo.com/ediablojokes.html