I think I'm in big trouble. I was helping Mrs R

[Redstone]

cook dinner yesterday at the Catholic retreat center where she works on weekends. (I really enjoy helping her; hustling around in a commercial kitchen makes me feel like I'm on the Food Network, and is a welcome change from working on the damn computer all day.)

But.

We went over to the convent to do a bit of light cleaning while the dinner was in the oven. We REALLY like the retreat center, so we do quite a few chores, gratis, whenever we have the time to...anything we can do to help, we do.

But.

While we were in the convent, I'm afraid that we did something very, very bad.

Not that it would have been bad to do that at home or in a variety of other places, but in a nunnery?

No. Just no.

No excuse that it was a nice day, and we were both cranked up from hustling around the kitchen, preparing a dinner far beyond the call of duty and menu, and just, I guess, both lost our minds at the same time.

No nuns were in the building at the time, but still:

Are we going to Hell? And if so, when? Soon?

I'm staying inside next time there's a lightning storm. Just in case.

Redstone

[Curmudgeoness]

1. Oh yes, you are going to hell. But it will be a long long time before you do.

Only the good die young.

[OmahaBlueDog]

2. My advice...confession

Mostly because I'll be interested to see what is offered up for pennance.

Seriously, as long as this bad thing wasn't done in a Sacristy (for example), and you are two persons who were married in the church....I'm not so sure what you did would be considered that bad. Perhaps evenly divinely inspired. However, the extent of my knowledge on these matters is limited to what I hear on "Catholic Answers" on EWTN Radio.

[Redstone]

4. No, not in the sacristy. I'd not tempt the lightning THAT much.

Redstone

[jesus_of_suburbia]

3. I'm pretty sure God smiles at love.... so many married couples can't stand each other.

I think God would be happy you two are frisky.

Love is always good.

[Redstone]

6. Especially given that we've been married for 20 years, I suppose

you're right. Jesus did celebrate joy, didn't He?

Redstone

[jesus_of_suburbia]

9. 20 years?

And you're still that frisky?


Jesus (the 2000 year old) is doing a happy dance for your marriage! In a world of hate and divorce, He is certainly happy you and your wife are getting it on!

[MichiganVote]

5. Aw quit worrying about it. Priests have been doing it for decades and not w/wives.

[Redstone]

7. And there was the serious frisson, as well, given that

we both grew up Catholic.

It was even better than sneaking drinks of the priest's wine (which was awful stuff, by the way) when I was an Altar Boy.

Redstone

[MichiganVote]

35. Yeah that wine was terrible. Mogan David or something.

[MiddleFingerMom]

8. Maybe late grade school/junior high years, I played organ for church services...

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...at our Catholic church.
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They had this huge MAGNFICENT pipe organ that would BLAST out tunes.
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When I was pretty sure no one else was around, I would play Stones
tunes on that monster. Cool as hell.
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Convinced that I was going to Hell for doing so -- but DAMN... it was FINE.
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I'd feel more comfortable about it today if I could remember
if I at LEAST avoided playing "Sympathy for the Devil".
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You? I think you'll be fine.
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Me... I'm not so sure about. I still often find that...
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...I'm in need of some restraint.
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[flvegan]

10. You are sooooo going to Hell, friend.

But it'll be worth it. All the cool folks will be there, or so I read.

Oh, and that's Penthouse Forum material if you have a spare stamp.

[Redstone]

14. Nah, NOT Penthouse Forum, because 1) It actually happened, and

2) It was me and my wife, not (if I remember the PH forum correctly) some unknown woman who picked me up at the airport, or while I was hitchhiking, or some such nonsense.

Redstone

[flvegan]

16. Some of them have to be true, like yours.

And a nunnery! A nunnery...must include.

[Redstone]

19. Sorry, I kinda doubt that. If I remember correctly, as I said, the

"partner" was always some steel-bellied airhead (cf Dan Jenkins) who popped into the letter-writer's life in the most absurdly-unbeliveable of circumstances; prompting a remark such as "I could NOT believe my luck!!!"

But then again, I haven't read a PH Forum since the 1970s. Things may have changed.

Redstone

[SeattleGirl]

11. Oooooooh, Redstone, aren't you and Mrs. R just the pair!

Frankly, I envy you! :evilgrin:

[Redstone]

29. Envy's not needed...you and Mr SG can do the same, with only

a bit of imagination and daring required.

I'll just bet you can.

Redstone

[JohnnyLib2]

12. "Impure thoughts, words or deeds......"

You've hit the trifecta of sinnin', for sure.

:evilgrin:

[rurallib]

13. I bet you think this is a first for this nunnery

and I am betting you are far from the first.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

15. My dear Redstone!

You're not going to be punished! You are going to be applauded!

You're not going to hell, either...

Good for you two.

Good on ya both!

:hug:

[Richardo]

26. And I think you have the subject for a future poem!

:D

[CaliforniaPeggy]

27. Ya never know!

:D

[Dr Morbius]

17. I think you're fine, for two reasons.

First, it stands to reason that God likes physical love. Why else would He have made it so much fun?

Second, you're being a good Catholic (I too was raised Catholic, so I know) by feeling guilty about it!

As long as you didn't videotape it for internet sale or anything weird like that, I think you're going to be fine. It's within the sacrament of marriage. I presume you didn't leave any evidence behind? Retidied the bed and whatnot? I wouldn't worry.

[panader0]

18. The mind reels

[Gormy Cuss]

20. You guys looked good on youtube.

:P

Apparently "get the to a nunnery" is code language chez Redstone.

[Dr Morbius]

21. Small evil thought:

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I wouldn't make a habit of it.

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:P
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I know. That was really bad.

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I should be better than that.

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But I'm not. :evilgrin:

[abq e streeter]

22. Um---you didn't get a concussion from this did you? If not, then GOOD FOR YOU AND MRS.R.!

[Redstone]

30. No, the concussion meter remains at 7. Did I ever tell you that

there were a bunch of Streeters (Including my beloved childhood babysitter Nellie, who died FAR too young) in the little town where I grew up?

If you're one of them, you'll know the name of the town.

If not, good on you anyway; you've been a good friend to me here on DU.

Redstone

[abq e streeter]

36. Only 7 ? --what a fuckin' wimp

Actually, assuming you were asking if my last name was Streeter; my username seems to have confused some people here; (although after reading some of the LSD threads here,and the amounts some of the folks indulged in, it's amazing there isn't even more confusion)....Anyway, I refer to myself as an E Streeter as in a huge BRUUUUUCE Springsteen fan, i.e. proud member of the E Street nation.....and the abq is for Albuquerque, my home of well over 30 years since escaping the midwest. I'm honored by the way, that you consider me a good friend here. You know , I assume, the high regard with which you're held here by many many people. I'm just one of those many. But jeez, a freakin church?

[Redstone]

40. I actually saw the Brucester many times, free, down the shore.

And also cheap, at the Main Point in Bryn Mawr, back when you could drink (and smoke!) at a concert. And when Danny Federici used to play an actual TUBA in that song about the carnival. Before Mr S got famous and all.

Redstone

[cherokeeprogressive]

23. As long as you PICKED UP the toenail clippings, I think you'll be okay. n/t

[proteus_lives]

24. You got me beat. A movie theater is my most public place.

Place I felt most ashamed/worried after?

Probably my sister's backyard. It was was a house-party, me and this girl were smoking out back and that lead to....something else in between the fence and the swing-set.

[xchrom]

25. 'get Thee to a Nunnery!' nt

[RadiationTherapy]

28. God LOVES sex. Don't let any uptight humans tell you otherwise.

[elleng]

33. NATURALLY!

Its what makes so many 'God's creatures,' ALL of us/them!

[av8rdave]

31. I always wondered if it would be better in a place like that

Do tell!

:hi:

[elleng]

32. NO!!! You're married, right? Mazel tov!!!

[Beetwasher]

34. Did She At Least Don A Habit?

Inquiring minds want to know.

[Redstone]

41. Oh, no. We're not THAT kinky. But it's a thought, isn't it?

Maybe next time.

Redstone

[quakerboy]

37. I think your cool as long as you didnt use B/C

Or something like that.

[crim son]

38. Bwahahahahahahahah!

I'm sure the Deity was more pleased than displeased. Maybe the nuns too. :P

[Ikonoklast]

39. No worries.

As long as someone was yelling out "Oh God, Oh God!" it qualifies as a prayer and everything is jake.



If there is no video evidence, anyway, that can be your story as long as you both stick to it.






The story, I mean.