Was gonna wait to do something profound for my 5,000th post, but I guess this'll have to do

[abq e streeter]

Just had (as opposed to celebrated) my 59th birthday and been reflecting on what a waste most of my life has been. Threw away having been blessed with a great deal of talent, intelligence and potential. Just two examples:I was considered more or less the intellectual equal of these two people in college... my best friend from then won a Pulitzer Prize for the NY Times in 2002, and his roommate, also a good friend back then, ended up being Chief of Staff of the White House. Me ? Nothing quite so impressive, to say the least. A wannabe rock and roll star( I don't like the term Rock Star, without the Roll) who always had to have part time jobs to make ends meet; waiter, substitute teacher etc.... But you know what; I have come to an acceptance that only a few "make it" . Someone has to bring up the caboose of the rock and roll train, and I did have a hell of a lot of fun for awhile. And I probably couldn't have handled the pressure of fame anyway. I guess I did my little part in keeping the grand tradition of rock and roll alive by playing blues and soul and good ol' rocknroll in some of the funkiest and finest little bars and roadhouses in New Mexico and like I said, somebody has to stay on that level too and get all the bikers and Native Americans, and mountain hippies, and everybody else, up and dancing and partying , and I've had wild times I never could have dreamed of while growing up a sheltered Jewish boy in the suburbs of Chicago. So even though I could have done so much more ( I'll go to my grave convinced that had I been more focused and driven, I could've gone a lot further than I did) I did achieve some small level of what seemed like an impossible dream as a kid.
But at least, no one can take July 15th , 2010 away from me. ever...One last ( my health is iffy, and I may or may not be through performing) triumphant night, in of all places, Mescalero, New Mexico..........And when our special guest sax player complimented me a couple of different times on stage that night for solos I did ( one on flute, and the other on harmonica), it made the whole ride of the last 30+ years worth it. Dammit, I can't get the pictures from my email to post here. Oh well... But it was a night ,while on a lot less grand scale than my dreams of so long ago, that was as close to a successful culmination of everything I'd worked ( not hard enough , but still worked) for all these years as I could reasonably expect or hope for.





Peace, abq e streeter (Ron)

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. My dear abq e streeter!

Congrats on your 5000th post! This post of yours is plenty profound...

You're looking back over your life and taking stock...

I think you've done well, plus had a lot of fun along the way. A good friend of mine, whose health is also iffy, says to live in the moment.

You've done that, and I congratulate you!


Oh, and to post pictures here, you'll need Photobucket or some other photo hosting service...

I wish you long life, and many more wonderful posts!

:hug:

[abq e streeter]

2. Thanks, for your always kind words.

I bet 3,000 of those posts have involved thinking up obscure old rock and soul songs for threads by mix, or Amerigo , bluesbassman etc...


and since it's late on a weeknight, and therefore the name dropping won't reach many people and therefore won't be too obnoxious ( except maybe to you).... the "special guest" sax player that I have some great shots on stage with, is Bobby Keys of The Rolling Stones. When he quietly complimented me on my harmonica solo on the Stones' song "Miss You"; at that moment it felt like the whole damn journey had been worth it just for that moment.

[flying rabbit]

7. Sweet!

Sounds like you have lived a life that many would be envious of. The grass is always greener they say...Keep on living.
:thumbsup:

[abq e streeter]

13. Thanks-I guess I've had some amazing experiences

too bad some of the memories are so fuzzy though.:rofl:

[mix]

3. Teach music!

Give what you have!

:hug:

[abq e streeter]

4. If i was certified as a teacher, I could teach one kick ass History of Rocknroll class

in some high school. But I'm not certified, and the amount of hoops to jump through to get certification , on the off chance I could get a job teaching social studies ( the only thing I'm qualified for, and there aren't many openings, although history of rock would fall under that category) isn't even close to being worth it. As far as being a music teacher; i don't know even close to enough theory etc; I'm just an old bar room rock and roller.

[Dystopian]

5. You are .....

Accomplished...and there is nothing that can compare to empathy and compassion.
The music runs through your veins....and there are countless people who have basked in your talent.
You bring joy!
A gift to humanity...a shining star....
Who could ask for more?
Best wishes with your health issues..:hug:

:loveya:






peace~

[abq e streeter]

14. Thanks--your kind words on this and other occasions mean and have meant, a lot

[old mark]

6. Ron: We have evidently lived similar lives on the RnR caboose...

I worked in a lot of factories and temp jobs, went to a trade school to learn drafting to at least have some reliable income, later went back to college in my late 40's. Played in the bars since age 15, finally got out of it due to alcohol consumption...
I have owned only 1 new car in my life, but some really nice guitars...
Have an idea that I would have been a very poor "success" in the music biz...
I am the only surviving member of my band from my high school years...
I am still playing for fun, and still learning the guitar, and I expect I will be till I'm dead.

I feel very fortunate that I am able to make what music I can and that I know and love it - it has kept me interested in life for all these years!
Sometimes, no matter how hard you push, the door remains closed...then the next guy just stumbles right on through it...It just is that way.

Have a great healthy year, and a happy birthday and at least 5 thousand more posts.
(Mine is a week from Tuesday - 63!!!)

Mark

[abq e streeter]

15. Thanks ,and happy upcoming birthday to you.

I guess one of my regrets is that I didn't push the door very hard and also tried to get by on my natural abilities, instead of working hard at them. Too much time enjoying the partying that came with the job, and not enough time trying to develop my natural talent into something that it could have been.

[old mark]

20. You know, some things just happen easily for some people - others

don't get the breaks no matter what. You are obviously a good talented musician - there are many thousands of us for every one who has commercial success and, belive me, the most talented ones are not always the most successful.
There is an awful lot of luck or fate or whatever there is involved with it, and there is certainly no reason to beat yourself up because you enjoyed your life.

mark

[abq e streeter]

23. Thanks again Mark

without trying to sound like I'm intentionally wallowing in negativity (not that I haven't been known to do that), I guess I was trying to say that one of my main regrets has been just that; that instead of enjoying life, I chose to be miserable and along with not having taken advantage of my talent and intelligence to make something of myself, I also didn't take advantage of having the choice, if I wanted, to be happy and satisfied with what I did have and did accomplish . That's why it helps somewhat , to look back now and realize that, yeah, I suppose I really did have some amazing experiences and some wild, fun times . And I really did mean "enjoying the partying" as opposed to "enjoying living" As someone who apparently did that too, (enjoying the drinking etc to an ultimately unhealthy degree), I think you understand what I'm saying and the distinction between the two. I enjoyed the partying so much that it blocked the ability, to some extent, to enjoy living even though I can't say I didn't genuinely have many good, positive, and satisfying times while not being blasted out of my mind too.


P.S. on another ( and thankfully lighter) subject, do you remember at the beginning of the baseball season, my saying the Cubs were probably a .500 team? That ship certainly seems to have sailed...

[old mark]

25. At my age, I am lucky to remember this morning....be glad you don't root for

Baltimore...they are barely in the triple digits.

but hey, it aint over yet..;(


mark

[hobbit709]

8. We are what we are.

I just turned 60. I've seen too much of what it does to some people that are driven to get to the top.

Congrats.

[abq e streeter]

16. Thanks--and thanks for the PM ( in the AM) too.

[Kali]

9. you seem like a pretty cool guy to me

your music knowledge is astonishing and your stories are fabulous
thank you and Happy Birthday!







oh and if you want me to post some pix for you or work on setting up a photobucket account send me a PM

[abq e streeter]

17. PM sent, and THANKS

[LeftyFingerPop]

10. Happy Birthday, friend.

I'm going to give you a little gift here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g6bUUmelbyw

Please watch the above video...it is how I live my life.

Your experiences in life mean that YOU HAVE MADE IT. You have done the REAL stuff. You have done WHAT MATTERS.

:pals:

[abq e streeter]

11. Thanks Lefty

My regret is not so much not having stuff; I agree with you completely on that...I just had a lot more to contribute to others, musically and otherwise , given the amount of intelligence etc that was handed out to me, and I squandered most of it. I don't envy my college buddies Barry and John (who I'd mentioned, but not their names) for any material success, but for making full use of the extraordinary intelligence they were blessed with , to make a real difference with their lives, and make really significant contributions to the world. But I sincerely thank you for the gift of that video; it does have lessons in it to always remember, and I'm pretty damn sure that there will be other times I go back and watch it again...
p.S......I used to play a lot of monopoly way back when, and we had a rule of 2 hits of hash along with the 200 $ for passing go ... It got awfully confusing keeping track of who had what after awhile.:smoke:


Thanks again, Ron

[Tuesday Afternoon]

12. Happy Birthday, Ron and Congrats on the 5K and honestly,

one can not go through life and not have regrets. If they do they are either lying or have not live live to the fullest. Take care of yourself and find peace knowing that you took time to "stop and smell the roses" along the road of life. :hug:

Long live Rock-n-Roll - may it never die:headbang:

:toast: :party: :toast:

[abq e streeter]

18. Thanks Tuesday ( and on Tuesday too, right after getting a PM in the AM)

Unfortunately one of my great regrets is NOT having taken enough time to stop and smell the roses, and when I did stop, it was more often to smoke or snort em...Oh well... thank you so much for your kind words....abq (Ron)

[abq e streeter]

19. And 3 songs to sum up this look backwards...Springsteen, Steve Earle and The Motherlode

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ituFNPXAaE8&feature=fvw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bzS2Vug-esA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O7UTaOAVgso

[Amerigo Vespucci]

21. The friends I really trust are pragmatic about this kind of thing...

...I think we all have degrees of "woulda, coulda, shoulda" in our life...the big "What ifs."

Just like Charles Shultz had "the little red headed girl" in his youth, and wove her into his work until the day that he died, I fell head over heels, right off the deep end in love with a woman when I was in my early 30s. Short version, she married someone else, and I let that poison my love life (or lack of one) for many, many years to come.

A good friend once observed "Maybe it was easier for you to hold onto that idealized, romanticized, fictionalized version of this relationship, rather than go out and look for a real relationship."

And yeah, that kind of thing stings when it goes in your ears, but not so much when it comes from a friend who genuinely cares about you, and even less when you see the truth and wisdom behind it.

Rock star? Been there, done that, but never made the commitment to go the distance. So I have memories of playing in bands and standing in front of audiences and always caution myself to not become the guy in Bruce Springsteen's "Glory Days."

And you know, Ron, what I'm looking at right now, at this point in my life, is a strong, almost overpowering feeling that God (for me, but anyone reading this can call it "the universe" or "life" or whatever they'd like) is calling me right now to be something bigger and wider and more uncharted than any fantasy I had about my life when I was younger. The words "force of nature" often pass through my thoughts. And without getting too "new age" here, I really do believe that the biggest obstacles we face are the ones we place in our own path.

That was then, this is now, you know? The energy and passion we can muster for this moment will determine all of the moments that follow. Once again, that sounds horrifically "new age," but it's not intended that way. It is the nature of my daily battle, and I battle it exactly as a recovering drug addict or alcoholic would. I have to make my life matter right now while the ghosts of my past, the ghosts of broken dreams and failed ambitions beckon me to withdraw and feel regret and doubt my worth. I can't do that, I won't do that. If I'm deluding myself by saying the best is yet to come, well, all I can say is "bring on the delusion."

Happy 59th.

:toast:

[abq e streeter]

22. Thanks for taking the time for this reply

BTW, I have no problem with the term "God' or "new agey" sounding stuff. I have, or try to, a strong spiritual basis to my outlook on life (probably would be dead by now if I didn't)...And yes, in my case, though a lot of obstacles seem to continue to fall in front of my way, I always am ready to acknowledge, that the worst obstacles are the ones I put there myself.
I do find that it helps me to on occasion be the guy in Glory Days, just momentarily ; to remind myself that I HAVE had moments of fulfillment and triumph; otherwise, my life would seem like even more of a waste than it's been. I don't live in the past though; that'd be too painful to wallow in, because I can't lie to myself and pretend I didn't throw away my talent and intelligence and potential. The present is disturbing enough ... I'm currently in the midst of wearing a heart monitor for three weeks to find out why I have had a sudden increase in irregular heartbeats. I've had these before, but they've suddenly returned to a greater degree than ever before, which is part of why I speculated that my gig with Bobby K. might be the last one, although I'm supposed to back up a blues guy from Chicago named Chainsaw Dupont 2 nights this week, but he and the band know that I may not physically be able too, and may play a few songs and then have to leave. So until I find out what's going on, I have been wondering if my time left is now somewhat limited (and again, I may be OK too, and the problem may be easily fixed) and that the time to look back and unflinchingly and honestly take stock of what I did and didn't accomplish is now. I hope there's still a future that holds great things I can't imagine yet. At least I got over my "little red haired girl" ( a little blond farm girl who actually attended Oklahoma State on a rodeo scholarship) years ago, but yeah, the experience did a number on me and I haven't had a long lasting relationship since. But in the immortal words of the great Little Walter: "I've had my fun if I don't get well no more".
Just curious: how close to "rock star' did you get before not "going the distance"? (only if you feel like answering that; either here or in a PM...or not at all.)...Again, thanks for taking the time to share your insights with me...your fuggin' DU friend, Ron

[Amerigo Vespucci]

24. The "rock star" thing was local bands, that's about it...

...I've never played professionally (with the definition of "professional" being "gets paid for playing"). I had a band as a teenager back in Massachusetts (I moved to California at 16) and one in high school. I've also done a lot of solo performances. For me, "going the distance" meant making a declaration that "this is what I do, do or die" and like a lot of people standing in those shoes, I let my parents talk me out of it in favor of a "real job," which made me miserable but made them happy, etc. etc. etc.

Of course, we are all free at any moment in time to live for ourselves and not our parents, no matter how good their intentions, but that's easier said than done.

I have nothing preventing me from either going to an open mic night as a solo performer or networking for guys my age to put together a band, and maybe I'm thinking "It won't be the same now as it would have been then."

Of course, that's true...it won't be the same, it couldn't possibly be the same. Like I said, that was then, this is now, and I just haven't decided how happy it would make me, right here and right now, to perform in front of an audience again.

And the way you answer that question is to go do it, and if it makes you happy, do it some more, and if it doesn't, stop doing it.

I have a degree of passion for what I do now...the Web design and photography...but it is not a "Human Torch" kind of passion, where I am lit up and living for that above all other things. I have somehow convinced that I need that in what I do, and that somewhere there is a woman consumed by her own passion to a similar degree, even if it has nothing to do with what I do...and all things considered, I'll live happily ever after with her and our two passions. Because any woman that's not on fire isn't going to tolerate a guy who is...it's like a "secret handshake." People who are on fire naturally gravitate toward "fellow travelers" and away from everyone else.

But you can't sit under a tree waiting for that kind of thing to happen...you have to put yourself out on the playing field. And in the grand scheme of things, my world and my happiness and my passion and my "soul mate" are all matters that concern me, and no one else, so one day bleeds into another and days become weeks, weeks become months, months become years, and...

...I guess the "and" is that becoming that "Glory Days" guy scares the hell out of me.