The perils of being a 'nice person'

[From The Ashes]

...or 'will this make me look like a shmuck?'

So in 14 days the family is heading for Ohio. My son his girlfriend, my grandson, my sister and I are heading north for a visit. My younger son called earlier and floated the idea of taking his dad out to dinner on his birthday, which falls during our visit. He wants to know if I'm going to go out with them as well. Now, I've spoken to him about a dozen times in the last 3 years and the last time I visited I managed not to see him at all.

I'm thinking about avoiding it all together, but how to do that without looking like I'm an ass; or desperate, or lonely...

I don't think I'll be making anybody happy on this one.

[Mopar151]

1. There will be somewhere else you need to be just then..... n/t

[mia]

2. Your younger son may be inviting you so that you won't feel excluded.

You could thank him for his thoughtfulness and then spend the evening with your sister instead.

[From The Ashes]

3. I have a feeling that my son is hinting...

...for me to go; I certainly hope not.

[From The Ashes]

4. .

[MajorChode]

5. Might as well make yourself happy then

Tell them you'll be skipping that one and you'll make it up to them some other time. I'm sure everyone will understand.

[david13]

6. You are busy with something else elsewhere, that is all. You can't

make it. Your regrets and all.
I know this situation quite well, believe me.
dc

[Tuesday Afternoon]

7. if you do not feel like going, then don't. Life is too short and you owe them

nothing but a "thanks but I have other plans. You guys have fun"

[Gormy Cuss]

8. Stop thinking about it. Plan to avoid it altogether.

You won't look like an ass if everyone knows ahead of time that you aren't interested in attending but are happy that your sons and their families will be able to spend time with him on his birthday.

As for desperate or lonely, quite frankly m'dear GOING to his birthday dinner poses a greater risk of making you look like that. :hi:

Just my very opinionated two cents. :hug:

[elleng]

9. Sometimes we just can't.

Stuff in my family suggests me being 'nice' did me in (or almost; may learn next week, depends on what the judge says.)