Things I've proven gay marriage will cause

[JackDragna]

As a result of painstaking research using various religious texts and a magic 8-ball, I have scientifically determined the following horrible events will occur/occur more frequently if gays are allowed to be married:

1. Uneven tire wear
2. Increase in "circus peanut" consumption
3. Sleet
4. People bringing more than 10 items to the "Express Lane" in the grocery store
5. Cubs winning the World Series
6. Shingles
7. Reality television shows
8. Movies produced by Michael Bay
9. Showing up to a social event with the same clothes as someone else
10. Your cat, Binkles, getting into the rat poison again


Please feel free to add to the list.

[Bucky]

1. 11. Less gay sex

[WillParkinson]

9. Oh great...

NOW you tell me.

[old mark]

23. Why the hell should YOU be any different.....remember, you asked for it! nt

[Mopar151]

2. I call BS on #1

The resr, too. but why ruin the fun?

[denbot]

3. Must call a bookie

5 long on the Cubbies!!!!

[rug]

4. Gay divorce.

[MajorChode]

6. Not if you live in Texas

[MajorChode]

5. Inexplicable attraction to box turtles

[Iggo]

7. Cubs? NOOOOO!!!!!!

[krispos42]

8. Spontaneous fire-extinguisher discharge

The collapse of the Zimbabwean dollar

The converstion of American bowling-balls from pounds to kilograms

Putting the six states that compose New England on Atlantic Time


:scared:

[KamaAina]

10. You forgot wildfires in Russia

and flooding in Pakistan and China. :P

Why god whould choose to exercise Her wrath on homophobic Pakistan is, well, just another one of those mysterious ways, I guess. :shrug:

[Liberal Veteran]

11. No. 2 is so correct.

Ever since I got gay married I can't get enough circus peanuts (or insulin).

[zanana1]

12. I love this! nt

[zanana1]

13. Albino Peacocks! nt

With thanks to TZ.

[Liberal Veteran]

14. What? No love for the albino peahens?

[sarge43]

15. Spontaneous combustion of lawn ornaments n/t

[rurallib]

16. 12. Pluto gets downsized to a mini-planet.

[ThomasQED]

17. Newt Gingrich divorces numbers 3 through 7. (nt)

[InternalDialogue]

18. 36. Never getting to the leftovers soon enough.

[InternalDialogue]

19. 72. Day-drinking.

[InternalDialogue]

20. 58. Short-term memory loss, but only with regard to cleaning supplies.

[MiddleFingerMom]

21. You're all forgetting what gay marriage will INEVITABLY lead to...

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[av8rdave]

24. Of course

There will be more gay children. After all, heterosexual parents produce only heterosexual children, so it stands to reason...

[old mark]

22. Probably more global warming.....shit, now they will act just like everyone else...nt

[Deep13]

25. More well-dressed men. Fewer well-dressed women.

:evilgrin:

[HEyHEY]

26. You forgot increased MSG in pork dishes.

bastards

[chrisa]

27. The little floaters at the edge of everybody's sight will become more common.

Cell phone service interruption.

Possibly the flipping of earth's magnetic poles.

[Lance_Boyle]

28. I heard it will lead to animal husbandry. n/t