Shud I getz nekkid ?

[Nuclear Unicorn]

Poll question: Shud I getz nekkid ?

Fiance teased me not long ago that since we're getting married he gets a bachelor party.

Back when we were first seeing each other I had no trouble sending him off to clubs with his buddies even though he said he wasn't all that jazzed up.

"Why do I want to pay lots of money for something I can't have when I can have you for free," or something like that he woud say.

Well, now he says he gets a bachelor party and suddenly I'm the one blanching at the thought. I must be wife material because suddenly I'm feeling the ever slightest sting of jealous protectiveness of my domain.

So then he comes up with an idea.

He wants me to dance for him. Not necessarily totally naked/in front of his friends but his idea is men get lap dances to remind them one last time of what they are losing the freedom to enjoy. He says he wants me to dance for him to remind him of what he's going to gain.

Apart from-- A) I can't dance B) I'd be mortified C) no, really, I can't dance

I'd really like to make him happy.

So, what do I do?

[Glassunion]

1. You'd be my hero if you did it.

Of course if you do it. You will need a wheelbarrow.

[Nuclear Unicorn]

7. Um-m-m...why a wheelbarrow?

:shrug:

[Glassunion]

8. For your giant brass balls for actually doing it.

They heavy.

[Moondog]

2. Yes.

Trust me, he won't care whether you can dance well or not. It is the thought that counts. Think of it as a bonding experience.

[seabeyond]

3. there is an app for that. nt

[Nuclear Unicorn]

4. Best answer ever...you win the internets

:toast:

[Glassunion]

5. Is it Trailhead or Bump?

[RadiationTherapy]

6. Have fun, do it, and make a memory.

Otherwise the story will forever be "...so he wanted ME to dance for him; isn't that sweet/cute/hot?...Oh, no, I was too embarrassed! He went to the club after all."

Do this.

[Nuclear Unicorn]

9. You know, that sounds absolutely irrefutable.

But it is a terrifying prospect.

[Glassunion]

10. Is it terrifying? Or is it terribly exiting?

Don't go through life with this "what if". It would make for too great a tale.

Besides... I want my pictures.

[Nuclear Unicorn]

17. Boys!

:P

[Glassunion]

27. No... Not boys. Look at it like this.

I was terrified when I went skydiving. But I was excited. It was terribly exciting. The kind of excitement that gets your stomach in knots, cold sweat, shaking, etc.

I did it, and I know that I have no regrets. It was exciting and terrible at the same time.

[Nuclear Unicorn]

28. NO, I was referring to menz and their insatiable need for nekkid wimmenz

:P

BTW - congrats on the skydive.

Next time go naked and send me pics.

:toast:

[Kali]

11. I know this is the lounge and should be lighthearted

but the thing about his friends bothers me.

Had a bad experience once with a guy who seemed open and receptive to certain things/information and then later could not handle it. He proceeded to obsess about it and it got very weird.

[HopeHoops]

12. Lap dances for everyone EXCEPT for him.

Get him REALLY, um what's the word I'm looking for? I think it rhymes with "card".

[qb]

13. You can gyrate can't you? That's all it takes!

It can be wildly fun to shed all inhibitions and not give a damn what anyone else thinks.

[Nuclear Unicorn]

18. I'm sure tequila helps

:toast:

[Brickbat]

14. Wait, are you dancing for him in front of his friends?

[Nuclear Unicorn]

16. He said he'd chase his friends out of the room if I asked.

As terrifying as the idea is in general I kinda think to myself, "Hm, if I was good enough his friends would be crawling the walls with envy and he would be beaming with pride."

[Brickbat]

19. Meh.

Proud because his wife dances sexy in front of other men because of his end of a hard bargain? That works for some, but it wouldn't work for me.

[SwampG8r]

20. no friends

but do it he will always appreciate it

[Nuclear Unicorn]

23. I'm thinking- no friends

[SwampG8r]

24. ever see true lies?something like that would make me a happy groom

[Nuclear Unicorn]

25. oh yeah

I remember that.

I saw it a long time ago.

Still, I think we're still talking a private showing.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

15. are you a lolcatz?

I think you should have a big orgy and then write us about it in complete detail. They sell Wesson Oil by the gallon.

[MilesColtrane]

21. Only if he goes first, wearing nothing but a banana hammock, in front of YOUR friends.

[Nuclear Unicorn]

22. As if!

I already had one friend ask if she could call him after we had broken up.

I guess this will be a private showing...if I do it.

[mcollins]

26. It could be a good chance to:

1) Work on self esteem issues. You think you can't dance then learn how to.
2) Work on body and sex issues. Becoming more comfortable about yourself and your effect you your SO.
3) Learn more about each other- tell your SO that you'll learn to dance for them. IF they learn to dance for you. Learn together.

[EOTE]

29. You need to do this.

For yourself more than anything. I think you're under the impression that men are far more complicated than they are. Typically, if we say something, we mean it. We don't want you to look INTO the words we say, just take them at face value.

I've asked my significant other for a lap dance many times to no avail. Like you, she says that she can't dance. Funny thing is, lap dances really don't require any dancing skills, more like grinding skills. When a man asks for a lap dance, "lap" is the operative word. What he's most likely looking for is to be close to the one he loves while experiencing lots of pleasure.

Definitely don't do it in front of his friends, at least for me that would take almost all the joy out of it. You'll want it to be just you and him, maybe play a little sexy music and, most importantly, take your time. Walk over to him sexily, have fun with your outfit and take a seat on his lap. Know that if you're getting married, he REALLY likes being close to you. Have fun with him, don't think so much about what you might be doing wrong, just have fun. Maybe turn around to face him, cover him with kisses, let him feel your hair on his face and maybe chest. If you want to tease him, maybe smack his hands away if he tries to grab at you.

I've seen the look of realization come over a woman's face when she realized just how easy most men are to please. We're really not very complicated.

[dr.strangelove]

30. Go ahead

Sounds like he has a healthy desire for you. As long as you are comfortable, go ahead. Don't make it a one time thing. My wife does that stripper/exercise work out and gives me the occasional lap dance. Its very intimate and something fun that two adults can share. If you are both game, go for it, and go for it often.

[abq e streeter]

31. I agree 100% with the post right above this

Nothing wrong with him having a rowdy bachelor party or going to see strippers with his buddies. I once gave my girlfriend a birthday present of a gift certificate for her and a girlfriend to go see a Chippendales type show. They had a great time, and I , uh...reaped the benefits of that enjoyment when she got home. This guy loves you ,and his going where you used to not mind him going is no more of a "threat" to your relationship than when you were just dating.
Now, as far as dancing for him, this is where I agree with the above post. I can't imagine why two people in a romantic/sexual relationship would balk at anything that gives their partner pleasure. I LOVE it when a woman I'm with dances erotically for me ( NOT my friends, but I'm assuming this OP meant just for him only) and have no qualms or inhibitions about doing the same for her. And not just once to "get it out of the way" but as part of the menu of erotic pleasure that we can give each other. I have been alone for quite awhile now, and would give anything to have someone to dance for, or to do anything else that would turn her on and make her happy.
SO...GO FOR IT. ENJOY IT...AND THEN DO IT AGAIN...He loves you; he desires you, he finds you sexually desirable enough to want to sleep with you every night for the rest of his life. What a wonderful and rare gift you have been given. Lose those inhibitions and thinking "I can't dance well enough" etc. and gain some self confidence at the same time.

[kimi]

32. IMHO, definitely go for it, without the friends present

If you're concerned about skills, go online to a few bellydancing sites and pick up some pointers. I do bellydance, and a lot of those skills would work over into lapdance, I think. NOT that bellydance is vertical sex or lapdance in anyway, shape or form, but some of the moves are similar. Figure 8s or shimmies, especially. It's all about intimacy, I think, and as several have said, he's wanting to see you.

Your 2nd-to-last sentence in the OP says it all. You want to make him happy. That's a special thing. Never lose that feeling, and it'll all work out. Best wishes in your marriage!! :)