My best shoplifting tale from working the graveyard shift, at an open 24, years ago.

[alphafemale]

Once, in a barely remembered life, I worked as a manager of an over-night stock crew in a major grocery store.

I replaced, as manager, a guy who had actually chased a shop-lifter out of the store with a gun he pulled from...somewhere.

For some reason, both local police and store management were not that thrilled with this reaction to the pilfering of foodstuffs.

When I came into management, I was pretty much under the "non-confrontation" orders. Which pretty much meant keep your eyes open...get a description...take note of the time...but pretty much let the cameras take care of it.

On this occasion, some of my crew alerted me to a couple of women behaving suspiciously, as in they had actually witnessed them "hideaway" some stuff."

And, by the way, if you are intent on stealing groceries, make it quick - go at a busy time of the day - and at least buy ... something.

Strolling around a grocery store at 2AM for 45 minutes and then leaving without a purchase...maybe...just maybe...be viewed suspiciously.

So. As these two, 2AM supermarket strollers were ambling in awkward gaits out the doors, I think they knew we suspected something. Half the crew watching their every move at this point may have clued them in to this.

As they were exiting, sans check-out. I said "Have a Good-Night!"

They didn't acknowledge.

A few awkward steps later...a layer cake...a fkn round layer cake drops to the asphalt from one of their skirts.

And I swear to you...without pause.

The woman turns around and says :

"I had that with me when I came in."

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:wtf:

:rofl:

By consensus, for the laugh that "line" gave the crew that witnessed it was not reported to the 'AuthORiTAYS."

[Curmudgeoness]

1. Thanks for the advise on how to shoplift the right way.

I always wondered how anyone got away with it. As god is my witness, I'll never go hungry again.

[alphafemale]

2. Letting someone get out of the store isn't "letting someone get away with it"

It's letting the cameras do their job and not getting people killed.

This was a small town. It was pretty assured the cops would recognize the people from camera cop.

Yeah. We let this one slide.

Maybe we shouldn't have, but we kinda came to the consensus that not only was it funny, but they were also probably trying to make a birthday for some kid.

Yeah. Let's put Mommy in jail and make it a real memorable birthday for the kid.

[Curmudgeoness]

3. I agree it was really funny. I was talking about how you should

go to the store when it is busy and always buy something. Great advise.

But no worries. I have no desire to see the inside of a jail cell.