A poem I wrote in college that my mom found recently

[nuxvomica]

Reminiscence

The yellow Sun, the sound of birds
Beyond the mudcaked ice of early Spring
Beyond the force and memory of words
Before my life, this faint forgotten thing
That dozed in fields of hay,
In brown and fertile earth,
That does not live with me this day
Nor lived for long beyond my birth.
The yellow warmth of Summer Sun,
The resonance of throats within the wood,
The mercy gone; the body left to run,
The home of ground where once I stood.
The deathless love I left to die,
When I no longer stood beneath the sky.

I was over at my mother's for dinner this evening and she showed me a copy of a college literary magazine she had found squirreled away in an old library table she was cleaning out. I barely remember writing that poem but after a while I recalled it was written because the dog I grew up with had died while I was away at school and I felt like I had abandoned her. The magazine was published in 1977. It's derivative and immature, but it's sort of nice rediscovering how one felt so long ago.

[Rhiannon12866]

1. What a sad memory.

But it's important that you have it. Thanks for sharing it with us. ;(

[CaliforniaPeggy]

2. My dear nuxvomica...

That's really nice...

I like the imagery of it. You might find taking up writing again will mean something to you.

It's a great outlet, and a great way to express yourself. I'm having a ball with it.

:hi:

[Tuesday Afternoon]

3. sad. nice memento.

:( good to have it back, I would think.

[REP]

4. It's actually pretty good

I didn't notice the structure until the second time I read it, which is nice - a poem with both structure and that reads naturally. The use of imagery is very good, as is the use of assonance and alliteration. The only 'immature' thing about it - and this a such a worthless quibble - is the caps thrown in for the seasons. Wow, big deal, doesn't detract from the writing at all.

I'm changing my opinion to from "pretty good" to "very good"!

[nuxvomica]

5. Thanks. It looks like I was trying for a Shakespearean sonnet

The rhyme scheme is right but the syllable count is wrong. I recall having a Shakespearean one published in another edition of the same magazine but it was a humorous sonnet to popcorn. :-)