Cats I Want To Throttle and My Upcoming Nuptials

[Bertha Venation]

Daddy: Mr. Knock Shit Off All My Life, aka Furry Little Bastard, aka Asshole (pronounced a-SHO-lee), aka Shithead (pronounced sh'thay). The most irritating cat on the planet.

Rat Face: survivor of terrible injuries last year, out-of-control kitchen counter marker this year. WTF am I supposed to do with this cat, I ask you?

Not to mention the rest of the brood: O'Malley won't stop picking on Charley, nor will Cocoa; there's always someone picking on Smudge; anyone who feels like it can just lunge a little at geriatric Harry and ruin the poor old boy's day. Growling fights all the time, hissy fits, a screaming match here and there. We use Feliway diffusers; Mrs. V. says they work, but I don't see it. But I trust her on this since she's home all the time.

And the hork. Oh, my god, the barfage is ridiculous. Not to mention scooping out six large cat boxes.

And now for something completely different.

Twelve days from today, I will marry the love of my life. I have gotten her a pair of cuff links as a wedding gift (she is wearing a beautiful silk shirt with french cuffs for our wedding) but I can't describe them here because she doesn't know what I've chosen. She got me a beautiful new pair of earrings for my gift. I won't wear them until the day.

I'm nervous about dropping her ring, and I'm nervous about mine fitting me well enough that she doesn't have to jam it onto my finger.

My sisters arrive the night before, and I'm beside myself with excitement about that. My best friend and his partner are also coming for the wedding.

The Sunday after, we're having a big party, which I'm also nervous about.

Jeez, I'm just nervous. Maybe I ought to switch to decaf now.

I will probably continue to talk in this vein about the wedding up until the day before. Then, after the excitement dies down, I will post pictures.

Thank you for listening to my random thoughts. I dig all of you Lounge Lizards. :)

[MrScorpio]

1. How many do you have?

Looks like it's pretty hard on you to share all of that kitty love right now.

But I guess that I must be worth it, right?


Edit: Oh yeah, Congrats on your upcoming marriage!

:loveya:

[Bertha Venation]

14. thanks, MrS

:hug:

[Tuesday Afternoon]

2. jitters and cats

how thrilling :toast:

can't wait for the pics :bounce:

:loveya: :hug: :hi:

[Bertha Venation]

15. Hey, TA

:hug:

[pink-o]

3. You know what's going on, right Bertha V???

You're busy finalizing wedding plans, and your kitties are pissed cuz you're not giving them enough attention. But unlike straightforward and direct creatures, who would just get in your face and make noise, cats will manipulate you into engaging with all sorts of oblique tactics.

They (and you) will settle down in a few weeks, right?

[Bertha Venation]

16. Yes, we'll all settle down.

The cats' tizzy is in part caused by our methodical housecleaning. We're not very good day-to-day housekeepers, so each weekend we've taken an area of the house and gone ceiling-to-floor, cleaning carefully. It'll be nice to begin married life in a sparkling house. But of course we're doing it because my sisters will be here.

But the cats don't like the busy-ness, that's part of it.

LOL re manipulation. They are true masters!

Sigh. The anticipation is delicious - but nerve-wracking.

:hi:

[pink-o]

31. So Exciting! Forgot to say congrats....hope it's the best.

And it's stories like yours that solidify our fight for marriage equality! Everyone should be allowed moments of true happiness in this hard life of ours!!!!

[hedgehog]

4. Just remember, the day is for you and your love to enjoy yourselves

and bathe in the good wishes of all your friends.

:bounce:

[Bertha Venation]

17. absolutely

And that's our plan! :hi:

[Heidi]

5. All those cats are part of the life you two have built together. They're family.

I'd bet almost anything that if you took a few minutes to express to the kitties how much you love the life that they're a big part of, things would get lots better between now and wedding day. :hug:

[hippywife]

9. I agree with you, sweetie.

Sounds like both human and feline nerves would benefit greatly.

:loveya:

[Bertha Venation]

19. Then let the love-fest begin.

Today, whenever I'm in my chair, I won't turn away anyone who gets in my lap. Love-fest 2010!

:hug:

[hippywife]

27. That's the 'tude!

:hug:

[Bertha Venation]

18. I'll bet you're right, Heidi

Good advice from a good friend. :hug:

[SeattleGirl]

6. The kitties are picking up on your excited jitters, Bertha,

in their annoyingly cat-like way. After the nuptials, they will settle down.

That being said, congrats to you and your love. I can't wait to see the pictures! :loveya:

[Bertha Venation]

20. Thank you, SeattleGirl!

:hug:

[foxfeet]

7. Are the kitties participating in the marriage ceremony?

You know, as dead-mouse bearers or some such?

[Bertha Venation]

21. foxfeet

:rofl: They wish! One of them did bring us a dead cicada last week. I was *eewwwww* touched.

No, they're all stuck at home while we're at the courthouse. They'll enjoy the confetti when we get home.

Well, not really, but they'll pick up on the joyous vibes and say "hey, we wanna celebrate, too. How about some 'nip?"

:hi:

[kimi]

8. Aw, I'm just so happy for you two

Not about the trials with the kitties, of course, but the upcoming wedding. I've been following this story for awhile here in the Lounge, and just want to say, it's so nice that you've shared it.

Oh, and the cats will calm down, I'm sure, and the Feliway is supposed to be great stuff. Love your descriptions, too. The hork - yeah, I've got 6 of the feline masters/mistresses myself, the barfage is lovely.

[Bertha Venation]

22. hi, kimi

Yeah, you know for sure how it is.

Thanks for the good wishes. :hug:

[hippywife]

10. My recommendation

is catnip and lots of it liberally swept around their areas regularly as you think it would benefit the situation. And a little calm quiet time for you. Don't look for time to squeeze it in. Make time, relax, breathe deeply and clear your mind of wedding plans and anxieties each day.

Many people have gotten through much worse with family in-fighting and all the familial relationship issues that weddings seem to cause to surface in very ugly ways. YOU can do this. You will have the love and support that you will need the day of the ceremony, until then it is up to you to find ways to stay calm, whatever makes you feel relaxed, but not too relaxed, if you catch my drift.

Or actually, now that I give this some thought, are there some folks in your immediate circle who you can toss some of the details to and have them take care of them for you? It would probably mean a lot for your friends to have a part in making this day happen for you.

:hug:

[Bertha Venation]

23. good advice

Truth to tell, for all my nervous-nellying around here, there's not that much more to do. We have our trousseaux in order. Since we're marrying at the courthouse, we don't have to worry about candles or pew bows or any of that nonsense. No parents-in-law will be here. Plans for the party march on, and my sisters will help a lot with that. Mrs. V. is cool as a cucumber. I'm the only one who's in a tizzy, running for the shelter of my mother's little helper (prescribed, don't worry) perhaps a little too often.

So your advice about making time to relax is well received. Thank you.

So is the advice about the catnip. The kids will appreciate it!

:hug:

[hippywife]

28. You are so welcome.

I just want this to be the most wonderful day ever for the two of you, filled with memories that you won't be too frazzled to collect. :hug:

[Demoiselle]

11. Have you tried separating them?

I have six furry little bastards in my house, but, except for the occasional hork and, of course, the endless dirtbox changing, we have few real storms. Three litter mates ( that's birth groups, not poo related) are in one part of the house, closed off. Two other litter mates live in the main part of the house, with my two big dogs, and another cat, a kind of loner, lives in her own suite. Doors are kept closed. (It's an old house, lots of doors.) My daughter calls it Cat-Partheid. (That's my daughter, please don't get annoyed with me.)
Perhaps it would make sense, with all the excitement of the upcoming wedding, if you tried giving friendly groups individual territories. at least until the event has passed.
Oh, Bertha, it really sounds like a terribly happy time...even with cat problems. I wish you the best! And SO WHAT if you drop her ring!!!!
Joy to you!

[Bertha Venation]

24. Hey, Demoiselle

:hug: Thank you for joining in the happiness, and for your good wishes. I love your "SO WHAT!" :)

If only separating them were do-able. We have just 1400 square feet, and 12 (yes, 12) of the beasts. It's a lot easier in summer, because most of them spend a great deal of time outside. But that's not stopping their upsetting behavior. It's good advice, though, and I appreciate it.

Cat-Partheid :rofl:

[backwoodsbob]

12. my first wedding I felt the same way

big affair hundreds of people...the marriage failed.

Second wedding..at the brothers house...8 people there for the wedding...we had a bbq after and a kegger...lots of drunks..lots of fun..still married.

Moral of the story is...don't get wrapped up in the wedding ceremony...the vows are all that matters...go in whearing a pink tux if you want...who cares...remember the person you are to wed....take a breath...enjoy the moment...and have really hot sex afterwards :)

Just relax.If you make a bigger deal out of it than it is you will screw up.

Do you love her?..will you be with her?..if so then you are already married and this is just a party.Relax and have fun

[Bertha Venation]

25. backwoodsbob, may I say that

I love you for this post? I do. Thank you so much.

Our wedding is to be like your second, very few people there with us at the courthouse. And our post-wedding party, a couple of days later, is the same as yours, a cookout, our favorite kind of party.

I love her, bob; she is the love of my life. We've been together for ten years and may life bring us fifty more.

Thank you, bob. :hug:

[applegrove]

13. What on earth is some Feliway diffusers?

[Bertha Venation]

26. a brief word about Feliway

Hi, applegrove. The diffusers are like those Glade plug-in things. They're for the calming. The spray is supposed to stop marking and inappropriate elimination. We've had success with it in two of the three problem areas in the house.

About the diffusers:

Feliway® is a synthetic copy of the feline facial pheromone, used by cats to mark their territory as safe and secure.

By mimicking the cat’s natural facial pheromones, Feliway® creates a state of familiarity and security in the cat's local environment.

As a result, Feliway® can be used to help comfort and reassure cats while they cope with a challenging situation and help prevent or reduce the stress caused by a change in their environment.

http://www.feliway.com/us

[applegrove]

29. Thanks. N/T

[Flaxbee]

30. oh bertha, I love your descriptions, and I'm so happy for you

and Mrs. V. :hug: to you both. :loveya:


I laugh because I feel your pain: one of our cats recently decided the sofa was a much better place to pee than the litter box, which is a mere 10 feet away from the sofa in the bathroom. Sofa is ruined.

A HUGE furball horked up on the keyboard the other day. I have no idea how that cat breathed or ate or even moved with that disgusting thing inside her.

And litterboxes. I hear you :hug:

You'll have a wonderful time, I know it. I hope someone will be taking lots of pictures - can you buy some of those disposable cameras and hand them out to people you trust to remember to take pictures?