So I had to finally deny a guy my couch here....I had to draw a line "super-sponge" couldn't cross

[HEyHEY]

There's a guy who came here with no job about four months ago. I knew him from back home, just not well. I did my best to help him out, my friend, Danni, had a spare room available and she said he could stay for free for a month. I also found a woman that would offer him a job with a visa, despite his having no education.

Granted, he'd have to teach English, which no one likes, but I told him it would at least get him here and over time he'd meet people and sort something else out. Before coming he was a parking meter attendant. So he was all set.

After being here a month he had spent a good chunk of his money on a scooter, Chinese lessons and beer. Never applied for ONE job, never called the woman I met who had one for him. Then Danni said, "Okay, months up, if you're gonna stay next month I'll need 1,800 kuai." He agreed, then on the next rent day gave her half that and said it was the best he could do. She didn't kick him out and he eventually paid up. He never listened to me about renewing his visa or anything, then a few days before decided to start wasting my time asking question I'd already told him the answers to.

Cause he found no job, his visa expired and he went to renew it in Hong Kong. He has a new place, but can't move in for ten days. He ask me online if he could crash on my couch for a "Couple of days." I knew that to be bullshit cause I knew of his intended date to move in, so he tried to bamboozle me. (Plus, I just had a good friend on my couch who moved here and had trouble finding a place.)

There's a great code with expats here that they take care of each other (When I lost my job offers of freelance work, contacts for jobs, free drinks and offers to lend money were so overwhelming I was truly touched), but this guy has abused that too much and is just a sponge. It has embarrassed me as well as I'm the one who is associated with him. Part of me feels a bit bad, but the other part says I tried to help him as much as I could and I'm not doing anything else for him. Am I right?

[ThomasQED]

1. I think you're right to feel bad

for the situation he is in. And also right not to want to help anymore. He had a whole month and a job lined up (if only it were that easy for everyone) and blew it.

Feeling bad makes you human, not helping anymore keeps you from being a chump.

[HEyHEY]

4. Well, he has other options as well

The guy who was on my couch knows him and says, if need be, he can sleep on his floor. I think that need will be.

[Tobin S.]

2. You are right. Think no more about it.

:thumbsup:

[knowbody0]

3. I would say so,

and good for you.

[RandomThoughts]

5. Sorry you feel that way, and that can be difficult.

I understand some of those feeling from both sides,

I try to help people when I can and have also felt when people just take advantage of that. Although I don't think most people are like that.

I also have been offered some things, but to accept them I have to agree to accept injustice. So those offers really are a deal to get me to accept something that is wrong.

So as time goes by, the debt goes up, but it has to be collected on, and can be collected on, so there is always that. And those that kindly offer something other then that correction, although nice and with best intents, are not correcting the issue, although their heart could be in the right place. Or sometimes it is to get someone to accept some broken system.