You never really know what effect small ordinary courtesies can have

[struggle4progress]

Let's call her B. She's in those awkward mid high school years, pleasant and nervously self-consciousness and quiet

I do small odds and ends of conversational scraps with her from time to time, just like I do with everybody else there at church. She never seems to know much what to make of me

About a month ago, she got drafted for some hand-out duty after service. So I'm leaving the sanctuary, and she gives me my copy of the whatever-it-is, and I simply say Thank you, B

She didn't say a word, but her reaction still almost knocked me over physically. You would think I'd told her she'd won the lottery

The most grateful eyes imaginable and a bright brilliant thousand watt smile. For a thank you

So I smiled back and went my way

A few weeks later, the church had a funeral for an older congregation member. B came in with one of her teen friends and sat right beside me

I still do small odds and ends of conversational scraps with her. But some of the edgy nervousness is gone for now. I think she's decided I'm OK

[rug]

1. Nice , gentle post.

Thank you.

[newcriminal]

2. Thanks for reminding us!!

Those small things do make a difference in someone's life.

[Jamastiene]

3. Holding the door open for people shocks them.

I've noticed that. It also changes their look from a sad sort of look to a smile. Even the smallest amount of common courtesy is shocking to people. Amazing.

[struggle4progress]

4. I'm a big city yankee boy, born and bred, but I've lived most of my life in the South

Some things down here will never settle in my bones, but I've finally picked up one aspect of Southern culture (and in particular of Southern Afro-American culture) that works well -- and that is the habit of acknowledging the people I casually encounter: the store checkout clerks, the people I pass on nearly empty streets, and so on

Holding doors for people is a nice little courtesy, and you're right: it almost always gets good reactions

[Jamastiene]

5. The reward in that works both ways.

It makes their day better and they remember you easier.

I'll never forget when the local Food Lion computers went down. It was about 25 minutes before they got them rebooted. It just took that long. It wasn't their fault. It was really hot that day and the store was busy. Stuff happens.

I was already ready to go, except paying. Others were yelling loudly and acting really mean and nasty about it. The cashier was this sweet lady that always speaks to me when I come in and always remembers things about my shopping habits. She just remembers because she sees me every couple weeks and we talk a little. She was so upset and worried that day and she was freaking out because of all the people who were saying mean things to her. I told her to just smile at them and let them know she was sorry for the computer breakdown and do her job like normal. That's all she could do. If they continued being nasty, let them speak to the manager. She seemed to calm down a little after that.

There was no need for them to be nasty when it was something she couldn't avoid. She couldn't help the machines went down. She didn't deserve that abuse over it.

[elleng]

6. Nice

I've noticed, as others may have, that living in less densley populated areas results in more civility. I've moved from 'busy' DC to suburb to small city 60 miles from DC, and find many more common courtesies, not only among clerks but among people on the street.

Hi, Hello, Hi ma'am, etc.

I like it.

[texanwitch]

7. I always say please and thank you.

It was the way I was raised.

What goes around, comes around.