It's now time for a "Post the punchline from your favorit dirty joke" thread!

[TheMightyFavog]

"Well, I can tell you this," said the golf pro, "your stance is too wide."

"Wow, I always wondered how you guys reloaded that thing."

[rrneck]

1. OK, where's the lady with the bad tooth? nt

[mike_c]

2. Most of ze men ride ze camel to town to find ze womens...."

[Lil Missy]

23. Where can I get sex? Man points to the camel. So he ......

[mike_c]

36. that's more-or-less the plot line....

Starts with "A young recruit joined the French Foreign Legion at a remote and lonely all-male desert outpost...."

[sarge43]

3. "Or we could stroll down there and screw them all." n/t

[era veteran]

42. Redd Foxx

Heard this on one of my Dad's blue albums years ago. Being an old bull now I appreciate it all the more.

[suninvited]

4. "Oh, I know, we're not welcome in Home Depot anymore, either."

B-)

[sarge43]

5. "Hey lady, your sign fell down." n/t

[theNotoriousP.I.G.]

6. Hey Nye, this is Guy

that was shit in your pumpkin pie!

[mitchum]

7. "So could I...mine's as big as a house!"

[Courtesy Flush]

8. I would, but that's how it got here in the first place.

[Bucky]

9. "Sure, but not with the ugly one!"

Re: "Wow, I always wondered how you guys reloaded that thing."

Is that the one where the dude gets sunburned at the nude beach and sinks his weener in a glass of milk for relief?

[TheMightyFavog]

15. yep

Great joke.

[nolabear]

10. "If only that ice cream truck hadn't come by..."

[era veteran]

11. No Judge, I said she was fucking Goofy

[Lil Missy]

24. Micky Mouse, you are divorcing Minnie on grounds she's insane?

[era veteran]

28. right

always makes me laugh

[sarge43]

12. "Jist checkin' fer bees, ma'am." n/t

[abq e streeter]

13. Same condition, but much better health insurance

[HopeHoops]

14. "Damn, now you got the OTHER eye!"

[Mr. Ected]

16. Yeah, but it would put pressure on your balls and give you headaches

[Ron Green]

17. "You'll have to point it out to me, Lady. All these Japanese cars look alike to me."

[elehhhhna]

18. "Dopey (effed) the penguin!"

[elehhhhna]

19. AND... "Blowing bubbles."

[Generic Brad]

20. "Shorty's Bar and Grill, Chattanooga, Tennessee"

:+

[Supply Side Jesus]

21. "you should have been here yesterday, a guy ffed a chicken!"

[Recovered Repug]

22. "If I time it right, I can save you $10,000.

[jakefrep]

25. "...and never, ever, refer to the Blessed Virgin Mary as 'Mary with the Cherry'"

[hippywife]

26. My usual response to this thread:

So the third nun says to St. Peter, "If you think I'm drinking that after she stuck her ass in it, you're crazy!"


:rofl:

[cherokeeprogressive]

27. Yeah but, while they were fucking I jumped out of the circle THREE TIMES!

[nolabear]

29. "The Aristocrats!"

Actually the joke makes me shrink inside my own skin, which is fascinating enough, but the movie and the look into the minds of some brilliant comedians is priceless.

[Curmudgeoness]

30. No one claimed the crabs and she took them home with her

and had a wonderful meal.

[meow2u3]

31. My favorite is the one about the cop giving a couple a ticket..

...for doing 69 in a 35 mile an hour zone :rofl:

[blue_roses_lib]

32. Mine....

"Well, I rang the doorbell didn't I?"

[triguy46]

33. "Mom's inside weighing the post man."

[av8rdave]

34. "You don't understand. Chunks is my dog."

[SwampG8r]

35. "my husband said

fuck him, give him 5 dollars.
the breakfast was my idea"

[Iggo]

37. No, we were just good friends.

[Iggo]

38. Help me find my keys and I'll drive us both outa here.

[Iggo]

39. Hello, big lady.

[mcollins]

40. I told you that was a penguin last night. nt

[Crabby Appleton]

41. "Because Thursday is your turn in the barrel"

[cemaphonic]

43. "Oh man, they got my girl too."

The joke isn't actually all that dirty, but it's funnier than most.

[TroglodyteScholar]

44. "Yea, well, he crapped in my britches, too." n/t

[Tom_Foolery]

45. What's wrong? I'm just having a beer with my son-in-law.

[Xipe Totec]

46. She shat on a turtle!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UmTczaVvfJc

[RandomThoughts]

47. Nice find there.

[Xipe Totec]

48. Thanks. I try to amuse.

:hi:

[peacefreak]

49. Tulips on the organ.

:evilgrin:

[Amerigo Vespucci]

50. "Why do you keep yelling for beef & broccoli?"

The classics NEVER die.

:eyes:

[guitar man]

51. How the hell do you think I rang the doorbell lady?

:rofl:

[nolabear]

52. "Welcome to Jamaica, Mon, Have a Nice Day."

[MilesColtrane]

53. He looked around at his buddy and said, "Shit, if it's going to be THAT kind of party...

I'm going to stick my dick in the mashed potatoes."

Courtesy of the great Mantan Moreland.

Here's the setup:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=smrJ7459pj0

[ElboRuum]

54. The Aristocrats.

[Sabriel]

55. "This time, YOU hold the pigeon down, and I'LL shit on it." n/t

[velvet]

56. "None. Because roadies only screw in vomit."

[XemaSab]

57. Nah, my ass is still sore.

:o

[bif]

58. Shithouse door from a tuna trawler. About six feet.

[Iggo]

59. A little, at first.

[Mad_Dem_X]

60. "...and don't tell me you don't have any,

'cause I can smell it on your finger."