Forrest's absence excuse note...

[ForrestGump]

Where've I been? Well, there's a story.

I knew I was in for an interesting time when the yellow 'phone rang. You know, the yellow phone. Climbing across the several lithe bodies that dozed post-rapturously beneath my sheets, I languidly stretched my rippling abdominal muscles as I picked up the receiver. After a small adjustment as an effort to minimize that annoying rippling, I breathily bad-breathily said "hello." Just "hello." Just like that. How could I know what that simple greeting would lead to? Stopping only to deflate my vinyl bedmates, pull the sheets up on my bed (that bed being an exact replica of the hood of NSMA's car, complete with convenient, velvet-lined tiedown points and vibrating ComfoVibe massage system), and put fudge brownie-scented incense burning beneath my autographed 16x20 of jchild and my gilded supernova statuette, I walked out into the brilliant California sunshine.

Et cetera...

But enough about me. How y'all doin'? Are we winning yet?

(ate so much pasta last night that my ripples are all filled out, darn it...)

...ripples, I said...

[Karenina]

1. HEEEEE'S BAAAAAACK!!!

HOORAY!!! :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:
:hi: HI FORREST!!! :hi:

[ForrestGump]

3. Hallo! Wie geht es?

Hi!

Well, now I feel better... :D

:loveya:

[Karenina]

57. Naaaa, mir geht's gut- meistens...

Du warst SEHR vermisst! :loveya:

[ForrestGump]

58. Um...

That and "achtung, Englander schweinhund!" pretty much exhausts my knowledge of German, but I have to say that DU warst sehr vermisst, aussi!

Na du!!

[Paragon]

2. "I got shot in the but-tocks."`

Much more believable.

[ForrestGump]

4. Would you like to see the wound?

Damn, son...

[Bunny]

5. Hi Forrest!!!

I'm so glad you're back!! We've missed you. I hope the personal things are all straightened out and you'll be back for good.

AND YES, BY GOD , WE ARE WINNING!!!!!!

[ForrestGump]

22. Excellent!

This Kerry chap does seem to be doing rather nicely, I must say. I wonder what this year's October Surprise will be, though?

Thanks for the warm and bunny-like welcome!

[GOPisEvil]

6. Hiya Forrest!

Nice to see you! Hope all is well. :hi:

[ForrestGump]

23. Dude!

Nice to be seen! How're things in the Republic of Tejas?

By the way, I think of you every time I go to In 'n' Out. :D



Really...though I haven't eaten there since Valentine's Day because on that day I not only experimented with their 'secret menu' (animal style) but decided to have a go at gluttony (4-by-4...and, yes, I ate the whole thing). Let me just say that it tasted a lot better going down than in reverse. I never do that from overeating, so I guess it was just Valentine's day that made me sick. I'm sure I'm not the only one that's true for.

Mmmm...I hear their wondrous chocolate shakes calling me. :-)

[nuxvomica]

7. WELCOME BACK

Welcome back,
Your dreams (Salma) were your ticket out.

Welcome back,
To that same old place (the lounge) that you laughed about.

Well the names have all changed since you hung around,
But those dreams (stop the BFEE) have remained and they're turned around. (Richard Clarke)

Who'd have thought they'd lead ya (Who'd have thought they'd lead ya)
Back here where we need ya (Here where we need ya) (And we do, we really do)

Yeah we tease him a lot cause we've got him on the spot, welcome back,
Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back.

Welcome back, Forrest Gump. Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back. :hi:

[ForrestGump]

24. A song and dance!

And you even worked Salma into it. :D

Thanks for the catch-up, too....your bodacious tune has more news content than any of the networks.

Thanks!!

[supernova]

8. WELCOME HOME FORRESTGUMP!!

I'm so happy to see you!

:hi: :hug:

Forrest, you've been away much too long. ;-)

[ForrestGump]

27. That's a smile like a

supernova! Not just a regular nova, but a super duper one!

It's good to be back (wo...having flashbacks to the Gary Glitter song, a kinda disturbing experience) and it just got even better. :hug:

By the way, Salma wants to talk to Johnny about a possible project...d'ya think you could let him out of the bedroom long enough for that? :P

[bicentennial_baby]

9. Forrest!!!!

Hey baby! Good to see you! :hi:

[ForrestGump]

29. Baby!!

:headbang:

I'll have to go away and come back more often. :D

Hiya!

[TXlib]

10. Welcome Back!

How's life now? Less complicated?

[ForrestGump]

30. Gracias!

Goodness gracias, actually.

Nope, it's all about as complicated as it can get, but all I need to do to make everything seem vastly more straightforward is to search for some of those quantum theory threads here on DU. Einstein was right...it is all relative! :D

I hope that all is uncomplicated Good Stuff for you, the lovely KCDem, and your little munchkins. Salud!

[DS1]

11. Howdy!

and don't forgot to coat your vinyl friends with talcum powder before packing!

[ForrestGump]

31. Thanks for the tip!

Always a privilege to take advice from the master. :P

Sally's looking kinda worn around the pump interface...

[DS1]

39. Yeah, I've heard about your abrasive tongue

:P

[ForrestGump]

47. Ssshhhhhhh...

No need blowing (no pun intended) my image by suggesting to peoples that I'm just a big pussycat...

[LincolnMcGrath]

12. You finally get Paroled?

About time! Don`t scratch "the" hood with the ankle bracelet/monitor.

[ForrestGump]

32. Hey! It's not polite to

make fun of someone else's bondage gear!

Ah, yes, it's wonderful to again be one of the Boyz (and Girlz) On The Hood. :-)

[Aristus]

13. Welcome back, Forrest!

The place wasn't the same without you. :hi::toast::hi::toast:

[ForrestGump]

33. Thanks, dude!

Um...by "wasn't the same without you," did you mean it in the sense that milk isn't the same without cookies or in the sense that Eurasia wasn't the same without Genghis Khan?



Rock on, Mr Aristus! :headbang:

[Aristus]

55. Okay, here it is: DU without Forrest Gump would be the same as

Bob Zemeckis' film catalog without "Forrest Gump". Yeah, you'd still have "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" but still...........

[ForrestGump]

59. Oh, you...

Didn't he do "Back To The Future," too?

[Bunny]

14. Kick!

:hi:

[ForrestGump]

34. Ow!

Watch where you're kicking!

:P

This happens to me a lot...

[Richardo]

15. Hey good to see you again, Forrest!!

How's every little thing? :evilgrin:

[ForrestGump]

35. Little?

Little?

:P

It's fine, thanks, if chronically unemployed. How about you -- how's it hanging?

[Richardo]

65. To the left of course...!

Good to see you back... :thumbsup:

[Bossy Monkey]

16. Forrest! Hey, thank Salma for letting you post again!

Welcome back, or if you're just visiting, glad to see you again however briefly. Salma, let him post more!

[ForrestGump]

36. She's a hard

taskmaster! Taskmistress? Whichever, I can't complain. :D

Thanks for the welcome, dude. I hope you're enjoying this atrociously perfect weather that we're having in our respective undisclosed locations (this, of course, being a gratuitous reminder to those in less fortunate climes that the sunbelt's weather's better than theirs and, from my corner of the world, that you should never trust air that you can't see).

Good to see you!

[Zomby Woof]

17. Hey Forrest!

WOOF!!! :hi: Always good to see you around these parts. Nice hood! ;-)

[ForrestGump]

38. Arf! Arf!

You're right, this is a nice hood!

Though I always get a little bit squeemish when someone with 'Zomby' in their name starts talking about 'parts.' :o

[SOteric]

18. Greetings, she said,

grinning like a gormless git. So glad to see you're back (okay, your turn ;-)). Even gladder to see you've stopped embracing those bits long enough to type up a little sumpin' sumpin'.

:hi:

[ForrestGump]

40. Yes, but you're OUR git!

Oops..did I really say that? :D

Yes, so glad to see I'm back and -- just to add icing to that particular cake -- that you're here in all your radiant glory. :hug:

Back to embracing my bits!

[SOteric]

67. Embracing your....

[prolesunited]

19. Missed you

Glad to see you back. Hope all is well. :hi:

[ForrestGump]

41. Thank you!

Glad to see you're here! Things are very Sergeant Pepper here (getting better all the time, with a little help from my friends) and I hope that you're having a Revolver (She Said She Said Good Day, Sunshine...Here, There, And Everywhere) day! :D

[HEyHEY]

20. Goddamnit gump I've got a smile knowing you're back!

Good to see ya!

[ForrestGump]

42. And an excellent smile it is!

Should help thaw out the glaciers that encroach upon your boreal paradise. :D

Good to see you, too, dude!

:yourock:

[ronnykmarshall]

21. Welcome back!

Hypno Judy missed you!

[ForrestGump]

43. Eek!

Perhaps this explains my penchant of late for walking around decked out, head to toe, in black leather. :o

All I need is a couple of friends dressed as a Sioux tribal leader and a construction worker and I'd be in business...

Nice to see you again, Ronny the K!

[Kathy in Cambridge]

25. Welcome Back!

:hi:

[ForrestGump]

44. Thanks! And thanks

for the pussycat pictures...foxy furry felines!

:hi:

[VOX]

26. Yo, Forrest!!!

Good to see you back in the swing again! Your outrageous wit has been sorely missed in these parts.

Stick around for awhile now, you hear?

Take care -- :toast:

[ForrestGump]

46. Cheers, Mr Mutt!

I'll stick around, fer shur...too hard to stay away, 'cos of excellent folks such as yourself. Have a Most Bodacious Day (and repeat this directive every morning henceforth). :headbang:

[CatWoman]

28. Well, well, well

such a pleasant surprise!!!!

We missed you Forest!!!!!!

WELCOME BACK!!!!!!!

[ForrestGump]

48. "Well, well, well"? What is this? Some kind of Bush family

vision for America's wild lands? :P

I missed you, too! And I swear it's not just the latex catsuit...really!

Thanks, Ms Cat. :hug:

[SarahB]

37. As her jaw drops to the floor...

:wow:
She pauses for a moment in her day just to say a nice, friendly, :hi: to her old buddy Forrest.

[ForrestGump]

49. Here, let me pick that up for you

Nice pause! As the gerbil said to the pussycat (or something like that).

Hi! :hi:

[SarahB]

54. Not much of a pussycat, Mr Gerbil

(Isn't it the Owl and the Pussycat?)

The butterfly means something though in my sig if you remember. I prefer that in terms of critter metaphors. :)

Anyhow, still nice to see you. :pals:

[ForrestGump]

60. I'd better quit with that gerbil thing

before rumors start to fly. :D

Butterflies are free!

[SarahB]

64. flying rumors

Look out! Flying rumors ahead coming in for a landing!!! Watch out. I hear they leave messes on car windows.

However, here's what I do if asked questions regarding those pesky flying rumors:
1. the truth
2. tell them it's private
(Other ways of handling rumors can cause a bit of hurt feelings I think.)

Butterflies are perhaps more free than you realize. Besides, what's wrong with gerbils? Gerbils can be utilized in interesting ways (or so I've heard). :7

[buddhamama]

45. glad to see you haven't changed

Welcome back ! you have been missed. :hi:

[ForrestGump]

50. Well, yeah, but I DO use deodorant.

:D

Hi, buddhamama! It's great to 'see' you again. :hug:

[GoddessOfGuinness]

51. Welcome back Forrest!

[ForrestGump]

52. Thank the Goddess!

That drink's got a nice head on its shoulders!

:hug:

Erin go bragh!

[northofdenali]

53. Mr. Gump, sir! I, for one, am thrilled that you've returned!

So glad all is now well - I've missed you, sweetie! :hug:

[ForrestGump]

61. I am, too!

Thank you, Ms Denali... :hug:

I hope that things are thawing out enough that you can get some righteous motorcycling action going on up there!

[blondeatlast]

56. WELCOME THE HELL BACK, even if I'm disappointed

I wasn't part of the scenario.

I was just asking about you last week.

I'll bring the Moon Pies, you bring the RC!

[ForrestGump]

62. Well, here's the thing...

you see, all of my inflatable bedmates were fashioned in your image. :o

But that's just between you and I... ;-)




Moon pies for everyone!!

[ScreamingMeemie]

63. Welcome back Forrest.

I've heard tell that vinyl causes cancer....;)

Good to see you back!

:hi:

[WilliamPitt]

66. ...ripples, I said...

and thus, the universe tilts back onto its axis.

:toast:

[jus_the_facts]

68. HEY.....long time no Gump....

.....ya didn't get locked up again did ya? :evilgrin:

photo courtesy of creativetreets.com

:hi: you remember those cuffs don'tcha? :D

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

69. You forgot the non skids

The hood of my car has non-skids. I had to get them to keep Matcom from sliding off.

Welcome back.....another verse of the song coming right up :toast:

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

70. kick for the daytimers