You know what? We need some humor on DU

[sakabatou]

[applegrove]

1. Why is an alligator like a can of peaches?

Neither one can ride a bicycle. (groan)

[AllenVanAllen]

2. Here's one from the "The Daily Show" last night.

A man hears a knock at the door and when he opens it, he sees a snail. The snail says, "Hello Sir. I'd like to know if you would be interested in purchasing a magazine subscription?" The man then kicks the snail as hard as he can and shuts the door.

Two years later the man hears a knock at the door and when he opens it, he sees a snail.
The snail looks up at the man and says, "What the fuck was that?"

[A-Schwarzenegger]

3. .....

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=624815

[velvet]

4. okay

A Frenchman and an Italian were seated next to a Scotsman on an overseas flight. After a few cocktails, the men began discussing their home lives.

"Last night I made love to my wife four times" the Frenchman boasted, "and this morning she made me delicious crepes and told me how much she adored me."

"Ah, last night I made love to my wife six times" responded the Italian, "and this morning she made me a wonderful omelette and told me she could never love another man."

When the Scotsman remained silent, the Frenchman smugly asked, "And how many times did you make love to your wife last night?"

"Once," he replied.

"Only once?" sneered the Italian. "And what did she say to you this morning?"

"Don't stop."